How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

You know that it's important to stay in touch with your self by tuning into your feelings, but how? And, which ones? Knowing how to tap into your emotions in healthy ways puts you in touch with your values, it provides empathy for others, and it helps you know who you are, what you want, and how to show up for others. Unfortunately, most of us don’t receive much help building these skills and the result is often that we feel overwhelmed by confusing feelings... or don't feel much at all. I hope this episode of the podcast helps you think about feeling your feelings in a new light, and gives you some fresh ideas about how you can use your emotional guidance system to create the life you want.    With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  GrowingSelf.com

19 Dec 20221h 9min

How can you make a hard decision when you have no idea what the future holds?    Should you quit your job? Cut off contact with your difficult friend? Buy the condo, or the house? Marry your partner? Dump your partner?   These are all complex questions with many variables, and it can feel incredibly confusing to weigh the pros and cons of each — particularly when you know that the decision may have a big impact on your life trajectory.   Help is here. This episode of the podcast will teach you how to make hard decisions using your internal wisdom, and the incomplete information you have about the future.   Joining me are two of my Growing Self colleagues with a lot of experience with this topic. Alejandra P. is a marriage counselor on our team who helps people find clarity about their relationships, and Kristi H. is an experienced career coach and counselor who helps people navigate big, bold career changes.    If you’re facing a hard decision, listen to this episode, and get clarity and confidence about how to move forward.   With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

12 Dec 20221h 1min

If you’re a hardworking, talented, and career-driven person, you probably aspire to be a leader some day. It’s easy to understand why. “Being a boss” can feel like a natural next step after years or even decades of hard work and professional achievement.    But being a good boss requires a number of skills that are separate from the ones that probably got you promoted. When you become a leader, your talents for writing code, or planning weddings, or stamping out widgets at the widget factory become insignificant overnight, and your career success begins to depend instead on how well you communicate, motivate, and connect with the hearts and minds of others.    Most people find this shift harder than they expected. They often end up feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and less sure of themselves than they felt before becoming a boss. Many seek out career counseling or leadership coaching to learn not only how to be a boss, but how to be a good boss, capable of leading a team of talented people to accomplish great things. They begin a process of personal growth that makes them more aware, more influential, and more courageous, at work and in every other area of their lives.    This episode of the podcast is for anyone who leads other people, or who hopes to someday. As a small business owner myself, I can tell you that being a good boss is not a destination, but an ongoing journey that will challenge you in unexpected ways. I hope this episode gives you some fresh ideas for where to begin.  With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

5 Dec 20221h 4min

What hopes and dreams do you have for your kids?  Do you want them to do well in school? Have good friends who love and support them? Build a successful career doing what they love? Find a healthy, loving relationship some day and start a family of their own? As both a marriage and family therapist and a parent myself, I can tell you that these are the dreams that most parents, including myself, have for their children. And that there’s one skill that’s essential for making all of these dreams and many others a reality: empathy.  Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s emotional experience, and to connect with it from a compassionate place. Empathetic people have healthier relationships, a wider circle of support, stronger self-esteem, and greater success in every area of life. Fortunately, we all have the power to help our kids hone their empathy, and this episode of the podcast will help you do that.  My guest is Georgi B., a marriage counselor and parent coach on our team at Growing Self. Georgi is sharing some valuable parenting tips on teaching empathy to kids. You won’t want to miss this conversation — this topic is so important, and it goes so much deeper than you think! I hope you’ll join us.  With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

28 Nov 202247min

One of the hardest parts of healing after a breakup is knowing that your Ex is with someone new. Even if you were starting to heal and pull yourself back together emotionally, finding out that your Ex is moving on feels devastating… even if you know in your heart of heart that this relationship was not good for you. Yep. You’re not crazy — that emotional whiplash is real, and it’s exactly what we’re talking about in this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success. We’re diving deep into the biological, psychological, and emotional reasons why it hurts so much when your ex moves on — even if you were the one who ended things, even if you thought you were over it, and even if you know you don’t want them back. I’m walking you through what’s really happening in your brain, body, and heart when that news hits and sharing some strategies you can use to take back your peace, rebuild your confidence, and help you move forward with strength. Timestamps: 00:00 - Why seeing your ex move on hits like a gut punch 02:31 - What’s actually happening in your brain and body 05:37 - The science behind why you can’t stop thinking about them 08:21 - Obsessive thoughts vs. healing thoughts (and how to tell the difference) 21:34 - How to use self-awareness and mindfulness to calm the storm 33:14 - Shifting your thoughts: the key to peace 37:48 - Love as a drug: the biology of attachment and withdrawal 51:00 - What most therapists miss (and how to get the right kind of help) 53:59 - You will get through this — and grow because of it Letting go of someone you once loved (or maybe still do) isn’t just about time passing — it’s about intentionally reclaiming your power, rebuilding your sense of self, and learning how to care for your heart in a whole new way.  If listening to this episode stirred something in you — whether that’s grief, anger, confusion, or even clarity — that’s a sign. A sign that you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey. You might be further along than you think… or you might be missing a few key pieces that are keeping you emotionally tethered. Here’s where to start: 👉 Take my Heartbreak Recovery Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? — it’s quick, it’s insightful, and it’s designed to help you pinpoint exactly where you are in the healing process. More importantly, it will show you what you need to do next to get unstuck and start feeling like yourself again. 👉  If you’re ready for personalized support, you can schedule a free consultation with a breakup recovery expert here. You’ll be able to talk to someone who truly understands the messy, complicated, totally normal emotions you’re experiencing — and who knows how to help you move forward.  No matter what your ex is doing, you still get to decide the story you write from here. You are worthy of love, joy, and a life that feels whole — with or without them in it. And we’re here to walk with you every step of the way. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who just found out about their ex’s new relationship, send them this podcast episode. Your support and encouragement could be exactly what they need to start their healing journey.

21 Nov 20221h 5min

“I want a divorce.”   It’s one of the most alarming sentences a married person can hear. And — in one way or another — it means that your marriage is about to change.  But it doesn’t always mean that your marriage is about to end. When your spouse asks you for a divorce, it breaks one of two ways: it either leads to a “transformational crisis” where couples make positive and often long-overdue changes to their relationship, or it’s the beginning of the end. I want you and your husband or wife to have the first outcome. That’s why I created this episode of the podcast for you. I wanted to give you some guidance for navigating this incredibly scary situation, based on my work with countless couples over the years who pulled their marriages back from the brink of divorce. I know from experience that it is often possible to stop a divorce and save your marriage, but only if you manage this relationship crisis effectively. My hope is that this episode of the podcast will help you do that.  Later on, I’m joined by Rich Harris, a family law attorney in the Denver area who knows a lot about the other side of this issue. Rich is offering advice about where to begin if you aren’t able to save your marriage (although his team at the Harris Law Firm has seen many couples reconcile, even after their divorce cases were well underway).  I hope this episode helps you find clarity, direction, and peace of mind.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

15 Nov 20221h 3min

Is untreated ADHD causing trouble in your relationship?   “My partner doesn’t listen to me. He agrees to do something, and then he ‘forgets.’ I feel like he just doesn’t care. He didn’t even bother to get me a card for our anniversary…”    Sound familiar? Many couples arrive in counseling with a list of issues like these, and no awareness of one likely culprit: ADHD. The condition not only creates setbacks at work and in school, it can cause all kinds of misunderstandings in relationships, particularly when ADHD is undiagnosed and unmanaged.   That’s why I created this episode of the podcast for you. I wanted to talk about the under-discussed impact of ADHD in relationships, so you can get the support you need if it’s becoming an issue for you and your partner.    My Guest is Dori, a couples counselor, sex therapist, and ADHD coach on our team here at Growing Self. Funny enough, this topic hits close to home for both Dori and myself…like, extremely close. Tune in for more on that!   I hope our conversation gives you a new perspective on ADHD, and how you can manage it while keeping your relationship healthy and strong.   With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Nov 202247min

Are there emotional vampires lurking all around you?  Unfortunately, this isn’t a problem you can solve with a garlic necklace or some holy water. An “emotional vampire” (or “energy vampire”) is a very unscientific term for a person who stirs up strong emotional reactions in others — like anger, pity, discomfort, or annoyance. Not only do they not take accountability for this, they seem to feed off of it. They drain your time, energy, and emotional wherewithal, and give you little in exchange.  If a relationship is feeling bad, it could be that you’re dealing with one of these exhausting personality types. But sometimes, it’s more about the ingredients that you’re bringing to the table (or not bringing to the table). Many people need some help telling the difference, and I created this episode about “warding off emotional vampires” to make it a little easier. You’ll learn why certain people trigger you (while other people get along with them just fine), and how you can prevent emotional vampires from bleeding you dry.  Happy Halloween,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

31 Okt 20221h 12min