How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#311 - Six Signs Your Relationship is In Trouble

#311 - Six Signs Your Relationship is In Trouble

All couples have differences, and having “spirited conversations” (aka, “conflict”) as you work towards resolving them is a normal part of every healthy relationship. That said, there are certain types of relationship conflict and emotional experiences that you should never minimize, or underestimate the importance of. These are the warning signs your relationship may be in real trouble, and when those are happening it's vital to deal with them. Understanding what they are can help you take positive action to repair your relationship so that you can heal your bond. Learn about the six signs your relationship is in trouble, and what to do if they’re present, on this episode of the podcast.  Your partner in growth,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

22 Aug 202259min

#310 - How to Deal With Trust Issues

#310 - How to Deal With Trust Issues

Is it hard for you to trust your partner, or feel secure with them? If you've ever caught yourself double checking them (and then wondering to yourself, "Do I have trust issues?") this podcast is for you. We're talking about what trust issues are (and what they are not), signs of trust issues, what causes trust issues, how unresolved trust issues damage relationships, and what you can do to overcome them — so you can feel confident and secure. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Access all the resources I mention in this podcast on the blog at GrowingSelf.com!

15 Aug 20221h

#309 - How to Stop Being Codependent

#309 - How to Stop Being Codependent

Are you in a codependent relationship? If so you're probably feeling anxious, frustrated, and exhausted from trying to create positive change in your relationship single-handedly. (Or feeling like you're never quite good enough to meet the standards of your partner). Not fun for anyone! On today's episode, we're taking a deep dive into codependent relationships. Listen, and learn: - What codependent relationships are - Why they happen - The stages of codependency recovery - How you can get un-fused from each other so that you can both grow and flourish. How to stop being codependent: All for you! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Aug 20221h 14min

#308 - Managing Up for Career Success

#308 - Managing Up for Career Success

Managing Up for Career Success Have you ever worked in a truly terrible environment? Think back to that job now. What made it so bad?  If you’re like most people, the difference between a great job and a horrible job doesn’t have all that much to do with the work itself. Instead, it usually comes down to your relationships with your coworkers — and especially your relationship with your boss.  Having a positive, healthy relationship with your boss, based on genuine trust and respect, makes your working life so much easier, and ultimately helps you both reach your career goals.  So how can you build that kind of relationship? And how can you repair your relationship with your boss if it’s not off to a great start?  On today's episode, we are talking about “managing up,” a professional development strategy that will help you build better working relationships, find more satisfaction on the job and remove the trickiest obstacles between you and your ultimate career goals.  In this episode, we discuss… [00:58] What Is Managing Up? [14:19] What Managing Up Is Not [24:15] Why Managing Up Matters [34:53] How to Manage Up at Work  My guest is Dr. Lisa S., PhD, LPC, CCC. She is a career coach and counselor at Growing Self, as well as the past president of both the National Career Development Association and the Colorado Career Development Association. Today, she shares her insight and wisdom with you.  I hope you’ll join the “Doctors Lisa” for this lively and useful conversation about building an empowered, satisfying career by learning how to manage up. Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

1 Aug 202254min

#306 - Is Jealousy Healthy in a Relationship?

#306 - Is Jealousy Healthy in a Relationship?

People often wonder, “Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?”  Here’s the short answer: It depends. Jealousy can be healthy when it signals that it’s time to draw your partner close in response to a real or imagined threat. This is a good thing that helps preserve and strengthen your relationship — but only if you’re able to handle jealousy in a self-aware, intentional way. When jealousy gets out of control (particularly if it’s due to past relational trauma, rather than a current relational threat), it can be a destructive force that harms your relationship, your partner, and you.  In this episode, we’re talking about jealousy’s ancient roots, when it’s healthy and when it’s a problem, and how you can use feelings of jealousy to start important conversations, establish healthy boundaries, and strengthen your relationship.  Tune in for a discussion about: [03:23] What is Romantic Jealousy? [09:49] What Causes Jealousy in a Relationship? [17:49] When Jealousy is Healthy  [23:56] What to Do When You’re Feeling Jealous [41:56] When Jealousy Turns Abusive [46:01] Learning from Your Jealousy And more!  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

18 Juli 202257min

#305 - The Power of Believing In Yourself

#305 - The Power of Believing In Yourself

“Believe in yourself” is more than a soundbite. It’s a necessary ingredient in a happy, self-directed life.  It’s also easier said than done. If you (like basically everyone) have internal narratives about the things you can’t do or changes you can’t make, you’re going to need more than a pep talk or some positive affirmations to shake those narratives loose. You’re going to need a self-belief-building plan.  On this episode of the podcast, we’re discussing how to believe in yourself, and the real steps you can take to build self-confidence, self-efficacy, and self-esteem, so you can start living life by your own design. Our guest is Elise R., M.Ed., NCC, CCC, LPCC. Elise is a therapist, life coach, and “holistic life design” expert here at Growing Self. After helping countless people build their self-belief and reach their most ambitious goals, she’s sharing her sage wisdom and actionable advice with you.  We are discussing: - Self-efficacy - Shifting internally - Raising kids that believe in themselves - Mastering experiences - Building an empowered career - and more!  I hope you enjoy this episode and find the power of believing in yourself! You deserve it.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

11 Juli 20221h 7min

#304 - Shifting From Emotional To Intuitive Eating

#304 - Shifting From Emotional To Intuitive Eating

Eating is one of the most basic ways we care for ourselves every day. But having an unhealthy relationship with food can leave you feeling stressed, emotionally drained, and bad about yourself, rather than nourished, energized and empowered.    Unfortunately, many of us have a fraught relationship with food. Emotional eating, shame, and anxiety around food or body image, and negative cultural messages about what we “should” be doing or how we “should” look, can get in the way of mindful, compassionate, and self-aware eating practices.    Intuitive eating is all about listening to yourself, trusting yourself, and having a positive relationship with the food that nourishes your body and brings you pleasure.    Today we're talking about how to shift from emotional to intuitive eating with an intuitive eating counselor who’s sharing some radical wisdom for making peace with food and your body. Tune in to learn all about:    [03:53] Emotional eating   [07:32] Unhealthy relationships with food   [17:06] Changing your relationship with food   [23:29] Adopting healthier coping mechanisms   And much more.     With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

4 Juli 202253min

#303 - Personality Type Compatibility in Relationships

#303 - Personality Type Compatibility in Relationships

Are we a good fit? Do we have enough in common? Is my partner really “The One?”  Personality type compatibility in relationships isn’t about being alike or agreeing on everything — it’s about learning to understand your differences and use them for the benefit of each other and the relationship.  In today's episode, you’ll learn all about what really makes a couple compatible, and how you can harness your differences for a stronger relationship. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

27 Juni 202257min

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