How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#302 - Feeling Lonely In a Relationship? How to Reconnect.

#302 - Feeling Lonely In a Relationship? How to Reconnect.

We all dream of having a close, connected relationship that fulfills us on every level. If you're feeling lonely in a relationship, it hurts. It can be hard to know how to reconnect, especially if the distance has been growing for a while — or if negativity has crept in. Deep connection is created through the intentional cultivation of emotional intimacy. In this episode, we’re exploring how to do that, so you can create the loving, satisfying relationship you want and deserve. With love to you both,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

20 Juni 202246min

#301 - Dealing With Control Freaks

#301 - Dealing With Control Freaks

Dealing with control freaks is aggravating, but when you know what’s behind it, it’s easier to have understanding and empathy for them — and also create healthier boundaries for yourself.  In this episode, you'll learn all about the psychology of the control freak: What drives their behavior, and how you can maintain a relationship with the control freak(s) in your life while still being authentically yourself. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

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#300 - Us: Getting Past You and Me

#300 - Us: Getting Past You and Me

Our relationships are priceless. They can’t be bought, they can only be built. Without them, our lives would be empty.  But all of that is easy to forget when you’re in the midst of a furious argument with your partner, or anyone you love. When we’re emotionally elevated, we say and do things that damage our connections with others. But it doesn’t have to be that way — conflict can be an opportunity for deeper connection and better relationships.  On today’s episode, internationally recognized marriage counselor and author Terry Real shares how to get past "you and me" to build your "we." Tune in for advice on shedding the individualist mindset and bringing more love into your life. Made with love, for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

6 Juni 202250min

#299 - Life After Loss

#299 - Life After Loss

On today’s episode we’re discussing the unwelcome territory we all have to navigate eventually: life after loss.  Whether you’ve lost a loved one, a dream, a job, or a relationship, adjusting to your new reality requires a grieving process. Giving yourself permission to fully mourn heals you, and fosters new growth too. In this episode, I'm speaking with two expert grief counselors about coping with grief and loss, finding peace, and moving forward when it feels like you can’t. If you've experienced a loss, I'm sorry... and this one is for you. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

30 Maj 20221h 1min

#298 - Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

#298 - Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

Should you be friends with your ex? After a divorce or breakup, being friends with an ex can seem appealing, especially if you're co-parenting. Making the transition from partners to pals is possible. But without radical self-honesty and clear intentions, it can be challenging — and may even create new problems. Can you be friends with your ex? If so, how do you go about this transition in a healthy way? That's what we're exploring, in this episode. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

23 Maj 202252min

#297 - Why Relationships Fail

#297 - Why Relationships Fail

Every committed couple begins with the best of intentions, believing they’ll love each other forever. But we all know it doesn’t always work out that way. The truth is that people often accidentally damage their relationships beyond the point of repair... without even realizing it.  Today, we’re talking about the real, hidden reasons why relationships fail, so you can take positive action now to keep yours healthy and strong.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

16 Maj 20221h 18min

#296 - Attachment Styles in Relationships

#296 - Attachment Styles in Relationships

Why do we react the way we do? Attachment styles in relationships are a powerful force. Understanding your attachment style, as well as that of your partner, can help you create a more compassionate partnership. In this episode, you'll learn about attachment patterns, identify yours and your partner's, and how to develop healthy and secure relationship systems. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

9 Maj 202255min

#295 - Building Confidence in Dating

#295 - Building Confidence in Dating

Confidence is sexy. But when you're dating —and dealing with the rejection modern dating involves — it takes a toll on your confidence. Oh the irony. Fortunately, building confidence in dating is possible, if you know how. On this episode, we’re discussing how to build your self-confidence, bounce back from rejection, and continue to put yourself out there until you find the love you want and deserve. All for you,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

2 Maj 202252min

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