How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#263 - Love Language Quiz

#263 - Love Language Quiz

What is your love language? What’s your partner’s? If you don’t know, you may be accidentally hurting each other’s feelings, creating disconnection, and stoking resentment without even realizing it. Understanding love languages — and acting accordingly — can change everything in your relationship for the better. Discover both of your love languages (and practical steps for unleashing all their positive power!) in this info-packed episode.    Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Sep 20211h 1min

#262 - Meaning Making

#262 - Meaning Making

If you’re going through a particularly dark time, today’s episode is for you. While nobody chooses tragedy as a vehicle for growth, meaning making through adversity can lead not just to hope and healing — but to incredibly positive personal transformation. Just ask my guest Jennifer Sands, a 9/11 widow. If you or someone you love could use a little “light in the darkness” right now, I hope you tune into this very special episode to hear her message (and be the messenger!) With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Sep 20211h 4min

#261 - What Is Your Problem?

#261 - What Is Your Problem?

Are you getting pressured, guilted, or blamed into taking responsibility for other people's problems? Understanding where your sphere of personal responsibility stops, and where someone else’s starts is vital to setting healthy boundaries with clarity and confidence.   So, what is your problem? And what is someone else’s problem? Let's figure it out together, on today’s episode. Your partner in growth,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

30 Aug 20211h 1min

#260 - Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

#260 - Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Today: Learn how to strengthen your relationship at the deepest level using the principles of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. This evidence-based approach helps you repair your attachment bond, and actually transforms the way you both feel about each other. It's powerful stuff, and on today's episode you'll learn how to use EFT principles to stop negativity, and increase emotional connection in your relationship.  All for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

23 Aug 202136min

#259 - How To Be More Confident

#259 - How To Be More Confident

Do you ever struggle with self-doubt, compare yourself to others, and wish you were more confident? These feelings block growth — and damage self-confidence too. Today’s podcast is going to help you stop that, and learn a more effective way to build confidence in yourself — through building a healthy, emotionally safe and supportive relationship with… you. Self confidence through self compassion: Tune in and learn how! Your partner in growth,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

16 Aug 202156min

#258 - How Premarital Counseling Works

#258 - How Premarital Counseling Works

How Premarital Counseling Works Whether you’ve been married for 30 years or are just starting out, premarital counseling strategies can help you strengthen your relationship. Why? Because it’s positive: Premarital counseling works by helping couples have productive conversations proactively: before things become issues that need to be “fixed.” It’s brilliant!  You can learn how to use the principles taught in premarital counseling to strengthen your relationship — starting today. Tune in to learn how. -Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

9 Aug 202145min

#257 - Reinvent Yourself

#257 - Reinvent Yourself

If you’re feeling overdue for a personal overhaul, I’m here to help. On today’s episode of the podcast I’m doing a deep dive into the psychology of personal reinvention to give you some actionable strategies for releasing your old stuff and attaining your aspirations. We'll be discussing the secret forces that make personal reinvention easier, and the ones that will sabotage you and snap you back if you're not careful. Most of all, I'll be sharing how to use your strengths to stay motivated, and move forward — forever.  Your partner in growth, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

2 Aug 20211h 2min

#256 - How to Be Happy

#256 - How to Be Happy

Feeling "meh" lately? If so, join me today to learn: What the current "science of happiness" has to say about what moves the happiness needle… and what does not. The biggest hidden culprit getting in between you and a joyful life Simple strategies to get reconnected with the real you (who IS still in there!) Why you can't buy happiness, but where to invest your resources to cultivate more joy Life hacks to make more space in your life for fun and play I hope this discussion helps you reconnect with your joy. You deserve it. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

26 Juli 202148min

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