How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#255 - Signs You Have a Bad Therapist

#255 - Signs You Have a Bad Therapist

Who you work with really matters when it comes to outcomes in therapy. How do you tell a good therapist from a bad one? What are the subtle signs that your therapist might be nice, but ineffective or even unqualified? What are the red flags that your therapist is behaving unethically? Spilling *all* the beans on this episode, so you can make informed and empowered choices. Warmly, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

19 Juli 20211h 10min

#253 - How to Love Yourself After a Breakup: Repair Your Self-Esteem

#253 - How to Love Yourself After a Breakup: Repair Your Self-Esteem

Ever feel like your breakup didn’t just end a relationship — it wrecked your self-worth too? If you've been left feeling like a shell of yourself after love falls apart, this episode is for you. I’m Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m diving deep into one of the most painful and overlooked parts of breakup recovery: low self esteem after a breakup. I’m sharing the real-deal truth about what happens to your brain, your emotions, and your sense of identity when someone you loved — and maybe bent over backwards for — couldn't (or wouldn’t) love you back. Through stories, science, and a whole lot of heart, I’ll walk you through the five essential steps to take your power back, stop the self-betrayal spiral, and start rebuilding the self-respect you absolutely deserve. And yes, I answer a powerful listener question that might just be the one you’ve been too afraid to ask out loud. Listen and learn how to stop tying your worth to someone who walked away — and start writing a better story for yourself. Timestamps: 00:00 - The Real Reason You Feel So Broken After a Breakup 06:43 - How I became and Accidental Breakup Expert 10:20 - Why It Feels So Hard to Let Go 32:29 - 5 Steps to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup 52:10 - "I Can't Stop Checking My Ex's Instagram" 1:02:00 - The One Thing That Will Truly Heal You Struggling with self-love and low self-esteem after a breakup is incredibly painful—but it’s not the end of your story. It’s actually just one piece of a much bigger healing journey. If you’re wondering where to begin, or whether you’re truly making progress, I have a free resource that can help. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?This quick, insightful quiz will show you what stage of healing you’re in right now—and, more importantly, what your next step needs to be. Whether you're still caught in the swirl of emotions or starting to feel ready for what’s next, this quiz offers compassionate clarity and personalized guidance to help you move forward. No judgment. Just support. And if you’re ready to talk with someone who truly understands what you’re going through… 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation with a Growing Self Breakup Recovery Expert Our team of warm, experienced therapists and coaches specialize in helping people navigate the aftermath of heartbreak and rediscover their sense of self. In your free consultation, you can share what you’ve been going through, ask questions, and explore how we might support your healing process—whether you’re struggling with obsessive thoughts about your ex, self-doubt, guilt, or just want to stop feeling stuck. You're not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself. Because healing is possible. Confidence is reclaimable. And love—real, healthy love—including love for yourself—is absolutely within reach. And you can start today. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who’s struggling with low self-esteem after a breakup? Be a friend — share this episode with them. You never know how much they need to hear it.

5 Juli 202158min

#252 - Letting Go of Anger

#252 - Letting Go of Anger

Release Anger + Reclaim Yourself There are many different types of anger that often impact our life coaching, therapy, and couples counseling clients here at Growing Self. All are different in some way, and similar in others. All are important, and deserve attention. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be sharing my best advice for how to let go of anger. We'll be discussing: Different types of anger How holding on to anger harms you, ultimately Strategies to work through anger, productively Ways to maintain a more positive emotional equilibrium How to find forgiveness (and still have boundaries) I hope this podcast helps you on your path of growth and healing. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

28 Juni 202154min

#251 - How to Feel More Secure In Your Relationship

#251 - How to Feel More Secure In Your Relationship

OVERCOMING INSECURITY | Even people in long-term relationships can struggle with feelings of insecurity. While very common, being insecure in a relationship can create problems — for both of you.  Can you relate? Join me and my colleague Georgi, a marriage counselor and family therapist who specializes in attachment theory and emotionally focused couples therapy. We're going deep into the topic of insecurity in relationships, and how to overcome it. Listen and learn more about: The root causes of insecurity The surprising ways insecurity can impact a relationship Practical strategies to help someone else feel more secure Actionable advice to help yourself feel less insecure How trust and security is healed and strengthened Concrete tools couples can use to banish insecurity from their relationship We hope that this discussion helps you both overcome insecurity, and create the strong, happy relationship you deserve. With love and respect,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com Ps: Questions? Comments? Follow up questions regarding this topic? Join the conversation on the blog: https://www.growingself.com/stop-feeling-insecure

21 Juni 202150min

#250 - What to Do When You Hate Your Job

#250 - What to Do When You Hate Your Job

Life is too short to waste toiling away in a career you hate. On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with my colleague Dr. Kristi, an amazing online career coach on the Growing Self team who has lots of great ideas to help you get clarity about whether your current career situation can be improved, or whether it's time to call it quits and start plotting your career path pivot. What to do when you hate your job? We have answers — join us! Dr. Lisa GrowingSelf.com www.GrowingSelf.com

14 Juni 202136min

#249 - 12 Effective Ways to Destroy a Great Relationship

#249 - 12 Effective Ways to Destroy a Great Relationship

Are you unknowingly making one of the 12 biggest relationship mistakes? Avoiding "relationship killing behaviors" is just as important as doing the good stuff on purpose! So today... I'm mixing it up. I decided to put together a very straightforward, extremely honest list of what NOT to do if you want to have a great relationship.  All for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com P.S. If you're worried that some of these things are happening in your relationship, take my free "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz to start a productive conversation about positive changes you can both make. — LMB

7 Juni 20211h 1min

#248 - How to Forgive Yourself

#248 - How to Forgive Yourself

Are you still beating yourself up for things you regret, or mistakes you made long ago? Good, caring people are always the hardest on themselves — but it takes a toll. On today's episode we're talking about how to forgive yourself through mindful self compassion, so that you can turn "regrets" into new opportunities for growth.   I hope these ideas help support you on your journey of growth and healing. Your fellow traveler, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

31 Maj 202149min

#247 - Post Traumatic Growth

#247 - Post Traumatic Growth

After you've lived something really painful, there will always be a need for healing in the aftermath. Therapy can really help you put yourself back together again. But it's also true that most people don't just go back to baseline. Many people actually find that, when their healing process is complete, the difficult time they weathered ultimately transformed them in really positive ways. Learn about "post traumatic growth" on this episode of the podcast.  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

24 Maj 20211h 6min

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