1226: James Kimmel, Jr. | No Even Scores in the Science of Revenge

1226: James Kimmel, Jr. | No Even Scores in the Science of Revenge

Your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs. Here, Dr. James Kimmel, Jr. explores the neuroscience of vengeance and the power of forgiveness.

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1226

What We Discuss with James Kimmel, Jr.:

  • Revenge activates the same brain circuitry as drug addiction. When we experience grievances, our brain's pain centers light up, triggering cravings for revenge that activate the nucleus accumbens and dorsal striatum — the same pleasure and addiction pathways used by cocaine, gambling, and alcohol. This explains why revenge feels temporarily euphoric but leaves us wanting more.
  • Most violence stems from perceived victimization, not inherent evil. Nearly all forms of human violence — from playground bullying to terrorism and genocide — originate from revenge-seeking behavior. The perpetrator almost always views themselves as a victim first, making revenge the root cause of mass shootings, intimate partner violence, gang conflicts, and even war.
  • Imagined grievances trigger real revenge desires with real-world consequences. It doesn't matter whether victimization is real or manufactured — if it feels real in your head, it produces genuine revenge cravings. This explains how leaders like Hitler used the "stab in the back" myth to mobilize a nation, and why mass shooters nurse perceived slights that no one else remembers.
  • Revenge addiction destroys relationships and keeps you trapped in the past. Unlike self-defense (which protects your future), revenge always looks backward, creating a preoccupation with past wrongs. It damages every relationship, increases anger and anxiety, and paradoxically makes you feel worse after the initial dopamine hit fades — all while fearing retaliation.
  • Forgiveness is the neurological cure — and you can learn it. Science now shows we're hardwired for forgiveness as much as revenge. Forgiveness actually stops pain rather than just covering it up, shuts down revenge cravings, and reactivates your prefrontal cortex. Dr. Kimmel's "Nonjustice System" — a role-play trial method tested at Yale — gives you a practical way to be heard, hold someone accountable in your mind, and ultimately release yourself from past wounds. More tools and insights coming in part two later this week.
  • And much more...

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Avsnitt(1237)

147: Erik Aude | Imprisoned in Pakistan for a Crime He Didn't Commit Part One

147: Erik Aude | Imprisoned in Pakistan for a Crime He Didn't Commit Part One

Erik Aude (@erikaude) is an actor, stuntman, professional poker player, and the subject of 3 Years in Pakistan: The Erik Aude Story. This is part one of a two-part episode. Make sure to check out part two here!  What We Discuss with Erik Aude: How an American actor with a successful career gets wrongfully imprisoned in Pakistan for three years. Why Erik's unique history with pain tolerance made him uniquely suited to survive torture and the rigors of prison life. The culture shock an average westerner might expect to experience while visiting Pakistan. What the phrase "physical remand" actually means in Pakistan's justice system. How Erik remains positive and grateful for what he has in spite of the ordeals he's faced -- in Pakistan and at home. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Jan 20191h 22min

146: How to Make Introductions Without Getting Burned | Feedback Friday

146: How to Make Introductions Without Getting Burned | Feedback Friday

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Advice for someone trying to transition into a new industry after a long time in their current, unrelated one. Your significant other always wants to shut the party down when all you want to do is go home where it's cozy and quiet. But is there a not-so-nefarious reason you haven't considered? You're paying down a massive college debt you incurred by preparing for a career you don't really like. How can you transit to another field that better suits you without going broke? Even though you're young and in an ideal relationship that already seems headed toward marriage, should an unexpected pregnancy hasten the occasion? When the coping mechanisms you use to help alleviate the burnout of your well-paying, long-term job are not keeping pace with the added stressors of that job, how do you test the waters of alternatives before it's too late? What's the real reason you can't seem to land a promotion at the company where you've worked forever? How do you best ensure an introduction between two mutually beneficial connections in your network doesn't get botched once it's out of your hands and in theirs? Recommendation of the Week: Murder Mountain A quick shoutout to The Daily Show's own Trevor Noah! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Jan 201942min

145: Philip McKernan | Why Your Truth Matters and How to Speak It

145: Philip McKernan | Why Your Truth Matters and How to Speak It

Philip McKernan (@PhilipMcKernan) is a speaker, filmmaker, and author of One Last Talk: Why Your Truth Matters and How to Speak It and Rich On Paper Poor On Life: 3 Paths To More Meaning (And Money). What We Discuss with Philip McKernan: Do you rarely follow the life advice you'd give -- without hesitation -- to others? Why doing what you're good at isn't always a match for what makes you feel good. How honest vulnerability (not dinner party oversharing) helps you gain insight into what makes you tick and gives your life meaning. Why people travel thousands of miles and pay thousands of dollars for clarity about their own situation they don't actually want. The deep lessons you can learn about yourself in 15 minutes from Philip's One Last Letter exercise. And much more... The folks at BiOptimizers understand why you're skeptical about probiotics as a way to increase your digestive and gut health. But without sharing TMI, we can confirm its patented P3-OM superstrain actually does what it's supposed to do! Curious? Go to p3om.com/jordan for 20 percent off your first order and a full money-back guarantee! Get two months of Skillshare -- unlimited access to over 18,000 classes in design, business, technology, photography, entrepreneurship, film, writing, and more -- for free at skillshare.com/harbinger! Blinkist gives you access to 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into potent little packs you can listen to or read in just 15 minutes. Try Blinkist Premium free for seven days at blinkist.com/jordan! Need custom graphics, logos, or Web design? Access a community of 600,000+ designers by registering at designcrowd.com/jordan and enjoy up to $100 off with The Jordan Harbinger Show bonus offer! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

10 Jan 20191h 17min

144: Shawn Achor | Why Success and Happiness Aren't Mutually Exclusive

144: Shawn Achor | Why Success and Happiness Aren't Mutually Exclusive

Shawn Achor (@shawnachor) is one of the world's leading experts on the connection between happiness and success, and is the author of Big Potential, The Happiness Advantage, and Before Happiness. What We Discuss with Shawn Achor: Positive Peer Pressure: having great people around you can help make you great (and is an even better predictor of success than qualities like grit and resilience). Why you actually achieve and perform better when you help others operate at their best. Powerful skills that allow you to make others better -- and therefore raise your own potential. How success in personal and professional life really isn't survival of the fittest -- it's survival of the best fit. Practical insight into how you can protect yourself against stress and negativity. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Jan 20191h 17min

143: How to Learn a New Language and Make It Stick | Feedback Friday

143: How to Learn a New Language and Make It Stick | Feedback Friday

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Our safety tips for a solo woman traveler. Suggestions for understanding, coping with, and supporting a significant other suffering from anxiety. Advice for someone with no finance background or college degree to learn how stocks and investments work. Networking without the happy hour. Why you should get started with the ideas you have for content creation (whether it's podcasting, videos, blogging, or something else) sooner rather than later. Showing support for a loved one who makes poor decisions without enabling their situation. How to learn a new language and make it stick. Recommendation of the Week: American Circumcision Quick shoutouts to: Wahn and American Dream University! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Jan 20191h 4min

142: Jon Taffer | Raising Your Bar and Crushing All Excuses

142: Jon Taffer | Raising Your Bar and Crushing All Excuses

Jon Taffer (@jontaffer) is the host of acclaimed reality show Bar Rescue, host of the No Excuses podcast, and author of Don't Bullsh*t Yourself!: Crush the Excuses That Are Holding You Back. What We Discuss with Jon Taffer: The psychology behind Jon Taffer's "break them down to build them up" strategy. Are you an overachiever -- when it comes to rationalizing your excuses? Why success in business always hinges on the human factor. The benefits of hiring for personality over skill. Why Jon ruthlessly critiques his own work and how this routine ego beating has been crucial to his success. And much more... Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Jan 201941min

141: Jason Khalipa | Going from Zero to Hero in the New Year

141: Jason Khalipa | Going from Zero to Hero in the New Year

Jason Khalipa (@JasonKhalipa) is a CrossFit Games world champion, the founder of NCFIT, and author of As Many Reps As Possible. What We Discuss with Jason Khalipa: You don't have to start out with "The Right Stuff" to accomplish great things. Is your confidence earned or perceived? Are you surrounding yourself with the right connections to succeed? Are you just talking about the things you want to do, or are you taking actionable steps to accomplish them? Can you take a joke and use it to make your life better? Jason Khalipa has -- and he can tell you how. And much more... If you're only going to take one gluten and dairy-free, keto, paleo, and vegan-friendly supplement to boost energy, balance nutrition, and aid digestion, then Athletic Greens -- with its 76 natural ingredients -- is what we recommend. The Jordan Harbinger Show listeners get 23 travel packs (valued at $79) with their first purchase at athleticgreens.com/jordan! Does your business have an Internet presence? Save up to a whopping 62% on new webhosting packages with HostGator at hostgator.com/jordan! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Jan 201958min

140: How to Warm up Cold Cliques | Feedback Friday

140: How to Warm up Cold Cliques | Feedback Friday

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: When you're the new hire on the job, how can you warm up the ice cold cliques that seem to surround you? Is there a secret technique to packing and traveling with wrinkle-free professional clothes? Even though you've rebuilt your life since spending two years in prison, you worry that people will find out about your past. How can you own it? When is it appropriate to explore medicine for depression versus continuing to make life changes? When you've got the opportunity to move your family to experience life in another country, how can you optimize your time to ensure you're living to the fullest while there? How can you improve your social skills when you feel like you don't have time to socialize? How can you express genuine support for a friend who's experienced an unfortunate setback without it seeming like you pity them? Is there an easy way to let past mistakes go and stop blaming yourself for life's big missteps? Recommendation of the Week: Death by Magic Quick shoutout to Captain Jose Gurganus! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!  Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Dec 201840min

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