Sex, Consent & Connection: How Non-Monogamy Really Works | Ep. 122 (Part 2)

In this follow-up to Part 1, I continue my candid conversation with licensed professional counselor and AASECT-certified sex therapist Kelvin Pace, diving even deeper into what consensual non-monogamy really looks like in practice. From swinging to polyamory to kink, we unpack the myths, labels, and lived realities behind open relationships. Kelvin explains why communication and consent—not structure—define success, and why non-monogamous relationships can often be just as loving and committed as traditional ones. We also explore the overlap between kink and CNM, how the military became part of swinging lore, and the importance of sex-positive therapy that challenges bias instead of pathologizing pleasure.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Welcome back & why you should listen to Part 1 first

00:58 – Do open marriages usually end?

02:03 – Swinging vs. polyamory: orientation or play?

04:25 – The many forms of consensual non-monogamy

06:10 – How kink overlaps (and doesn’t) with CNM

08:02 – The biggest myths about non-monogamy

10:10 – Therapy, bias, and the importance of consent

12:05 – Parenting and openness about sexuality

14:00 – Did swinging really start in the military?

15:22 – Kelvin’s quick-fire questions: definition, orgasm, fantasy

17:00 – Where to find Kelvin

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

About the Guest:

Kelvin Pace graduated with a master’s in clinical psychology from the University of Alaska Anchorage in 2009. He is a licensed professional counselor and supervisor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor.

He is the owner of KpaceCounseling, LLC in Anchorage, Alaska. Kelvin works with couples and individuals dealing with sexual or relationship issues that include low desire, anxiety surrounding sex, and infidelity. His current focus is on mindfulness-based interventions to manage sexual concerns, working with individuals and couples either in or looking to explore non-traditional relationship orientations such as consensual/ethical non-monogamy.

Connect with Kelvin Pace:

Website: kpacecounseling.net

Instagram: @kpace37

Facebook: @kpacecounselingLLC

Phone: 907-519-2989

Email: kpacecounseling@gmail.com

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

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