Our Wild (But Plausible) Theories on Who Stole the Louvre Jewels

Jordana and Sami wax condescending on a huge variety of topics this ep. starting with their equal love of obscure movie quotes. After they judge everyone on Vanderpump Rules, namely Jax (who definitely deserves it). After talking about a dude who can't seem to stop yelling at his girlfriend, they discuss the Women's March and stress emphatically that their meme signs were meant as no disrespect to those with serious signs. They wrap things up talking about babies and how many on Insta have turned the gestation process into way too many posts. Wow, seriously, you're exploiting someone who's not even there. Don't miss "Dear Betches" this week; this listener wants to keep hooking up with a guy, but her friend is threatening to end their friendship over it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Jan 201837min

In 2018's second episode, Sami and Aleen start the show dishing on Vanderpump Rules. After sufficiently calling everyone on Vanderpump delusional, they talk about quarter life crisis, the moment we've all had (or will have) where we're 25-ish and realize we don't identify with our own identity. Don't miss this week's "Dear Betches" which can be summed up as someone asking, "What the f*ck is with all these fitness instagrams?" Hint: it involves crisis. The rest of the ep. deals with very serious questions including what the quarter life crisis looked like before social media, how fat Khloe Kardashian is, and if Aleen would freeze her eggs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Jan 201850min

This week on Betch Slapped, Sami and Jordana discuss The Golden Globes and how everyone on Vanderpump Rules is a cheating lunatic. They discuss vacation Instagrams and why they’re ruining our culture. They answer a question from a listener whose best friend and boyfriend are creating a ‘throuple’ that is getting out of hand. They play games involving Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, and Frances McDormand and discuss the various scenarios they’d prefer based on this year’s Golden Globes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Jan 201840min

In the first episode of 2018, Sami and Aleen talk about being boughie on New Years, our thoughts on plastic surgery, Luanne DeLessep's arrest and about the cheating tendencies of the Vanderpump Rules cast. We answer reader questions about whether to tell a friend that her boyfriend is on a dating app, and whether it's good or bad to seek out an intense whirlwind romance. And some Bachelor / wedding related games, kbye. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Jan 201836min

This week Samantha and Jordana discuss the best and worst things that happened in 2017. They talk about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiere and Justin and Selena’s issues as a couple. They answer questions from a listener who wants to know the best places to meet guys and another one who wants to know if she can negotiate her bonus. They play Shoot Fuck Marry with Real Housewives and reality TV. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Dec 201734min

Jordana and Aleen discuss the latest episode of Vanderpump rules and the impending episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. They answer questions from a listener whose boyfriend won’t come to bed with her and another one is scared her friends are angry with her for cancelling a trip. They play games involving airport travel and the amount of sunlight in a year and debate whether eating meat is ethical. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Dec 201735min

Aleen and Sara (Betches Editor-in-Cheif) and guest Scheana Marie discuss all of Vanderpump Rules drama including the Jax and Brittany cheating scandal and tells us her unfiltered opinions of Stassi and Katie (!). We also answer a Dear Betch question about a girl who wants to know how to tell if she's a fuckgirl and the usual games but even better because they're Vanderpump edition Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Dec 201735min

Jordana and Samantha discuss the season premiere of Vanderpump Rules and reflect on this season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Samantha explains what Bitcoin is. They answer questions from a reader who doesn’t know what to do about her boyfriend’s partying and another who can’t deal with a needy coworker. They play games involving celebrity Christmas parties, working at SUR, and sitting in middle seats on airplanes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Dec 201740min