What Comes Next When Life Falls Apart: An Honest Conversation with Jess Connolly [Ep 550]

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply. Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them. The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks! This episode originally aired in May of 2015 Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here. What we chat about: Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior. The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves. The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home. How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown I can only control one person in life, and that’s me. How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out. What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality). If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care? How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control. How to be an impartial giver of wisdom. Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do. Connect with Kirk: Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast Links Mentioned: CDs/DVDs 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions:  Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior. If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?  Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion. How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?  Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.  Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!  Better Help: This episode is sponsored by Better Help.  Stop comparing and start focusing, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month. Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma.

22 Juli 202429min

On September 20, 2021, Makayla Noble, a world-champion cheerleader, suffered an injury that resulted in a severe spinal cord injury. Both Cynthia and I were part of her extended community and were getting updates on her healing journey and how to pray for her.  Today we have the honor of interviewing her to see how God has used her life to glorify Him even when things don’t go as planned.  From the moment of her accident, Makayla felt the overwhelming peace of God, that He was going to take care of her and had a plan. She has mourned her physical body and what she thought the future would look like but remains in the truth that “God is not done with me yet”.  Come along with us as we hear Makayla’s story.  Connect with Makayla Noble:  Website:  Makayla Noble | Mak's Warriors Youtube: Makayla Noble - YouTube Instagram:  Makayla Noble (@makaylamnoble) Links Mentioned:   Joni and Friends | Sharing Hope Through Hardship ATF Official Home Page | AdaptiveTrainingFoundation.org The Chosen TV Series Related Episodes: How to Never Miss Out :: Vaneetha Risner [Ep 402] RWYB Series wk 1 Praising Through the Pain of Physical Limitations :: Karen Harmon [Ep 231] Finding Your Voice :: Sandi Patty [Ep 224] Featured Sponsors:  Duncan and Stone–-Get 20% off your first order with promo code DMA20. And did we mention that they offer free shipping on any order over $49? You know we’re a sucker for free shipping. -Head to www.duncanandstone.com  to start your memory making journey today! Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

15 Juli 202446min

A few years ago on an Instagram survey I learned that 68% of y’all have experienced broken friendships. I knew we needed an episode to help. Licensed professional counselor Shundria Riddick is here to walk us through some healthy ways to work toward reconciliation and how to know when to walk away from a hurtful friendship. We talk about setting healthy boundaries, having clarifying conversations, and how to analyze the health of relationships. We also cover the new trend of Millennials cutting off their parents and how to heal those wounds and come to new understandings.  With the busyness of parenting, work, and family- friendships often take the back burner. Shundria is here to help us make them a priority and learn how to move forward into healthy relationships even if we have been hurt in the past.  Connect with Shundria Riddick:  Website:  Shundria Riddick Facebook: Shundria Riddick MA, LPC Instagram:  Shundria Riddick (@shundriariddick) Links Mentioned:   Relax – Shundria Riddick, MA LPC  Related Episodes: The Unicorn That is Adult Friendship :: Cynthia Yanof – Summer of Mentorship – Wk 3 [Ep 416] Friendship is Hard :: Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston [Ep 350] Healing Friendship Wounds :: Lisa-Jo Baker [Ep 159] Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions: What stood out to you in this week's podcast?  Have you had a broken friendship or relationship?  What has been your experience of walking away from a friendship in the past? What boundaries do you set on friendships and how do you communicate them? Sit still and ask God to help you filter through a relationship that you have trouble with. Are you navigating it the way he wants you to?  Featured Sponsors:  Thrive Causemetics-Refresh your everyday look with Thrive Causemetics. Beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA  Greenlight-Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

8 Juli 202437min

**earbud alert–if you listen with little ones around may want to pop in the ole earbuds or be prepared to have lots of conversations ;) **  We kick off today looking like we are going to two separate events, with one dressed up and one in athleisure. Are you team shorts or team dresses for summer? We give some summer updates including how to feed ALL of the teens that are home and my 1980’s drink that is keeping 4 boys hydrated. Social media has us convinced that everyone is traveling to Italy this summer, was there a BOGO deal we missed? Recapping the last month  includes a funeral for our young friend Pike who lost his battle with leukemia and how powerfully his family honored him at the touching memorial.  I was reeling emotionally going from graduation to funeral to medieval times with sixth graders then wisdom tooth removal for my college-bound son.  Join us today as we get sidetracked and share the hard and joyful parts of summer 2024.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized  Links Mentioned:   Heather’s slip shorts Heather’s summer meal plan Cynthia’s pesto chicken slider recipe Country Time Lemonade Drink Mix Stem Cell Donor Matching Program in Pike’s Honor: Anyone 18-55 that is in good health can request an at home swab kit at https://www.dkms.org/get-involved/virtual-drives/gettypedforpike  Heather’s Air fryer Audible Books & Originals The Silent Patient: by Alex Michaelides The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: by John Mark Comer The Women: by Kristin Hannah Greenlights: by Matthew McConaughey Funny Story: Emily Henry All My Knotted-Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore Zipper bags for moving Cynthia’s portable charger Stanley Quencher H2.0 FlowState Stainless Steel Vacuum Insulated Tumbler TRUE LEMON Water Enhancer The Jess Connolly Podcast Episode 8 — Jess Connolly— “Must Be Nice Disease” Related Episodes: Let’s Talk about Sex :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 328] Preparing Now for Future Puberty and Masturbation Questions :: Megan Michelson and Mary Flo Ridley [Ep 243] Birds and Bees (Continuing the Conversation) :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 153] Sidetracked with Beth McCord :: Cynthia and Heather [Ep 473] Sidetracked with Toni Collier :: Cynthia and Heather [Ep 468] Featured Sponsors:  Gabb Wireless –Gabb is offering $25 off any device to new customers–with no contract required! That’s $25 off any Gabb smartphone or smart watch. Go to Gabb.com/DMA use code DMA.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

5 Juli 202442min

Welcome to week one of the Summer of Mentorship! This summer we are answering your questions with guests from past episodes. We are starting off with an episode from April of 2020 (ep 280) with Rachel Macy Stafford, the founder of Hands Free Mama.  Rachel’s Hands Free Mama mentality is all about finding balance in a media-saturated, perfection-obsessed world. And it’s about seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. She shares a realization that she was not connected with her own people. How she was believing a lie that she needed to hide certain parts of herself, the messy parts, the imperfect parts, in order to be loved and accepted.Her “ah-ha” moment came when she vulnerably shared this belief with her daughter and found acceptance.  “Opening that door to being human actually brings us closer together. Then we can connect from that place of 'I'm struggling' and that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. That doesn't mean I need to hide it. It means I need to reach out and talk to someone about this so we can work together to see how we might go forward.” From that place she has chosen to extend that same acceptance and found real connection. Which then helps keep the lines of communication open as they grow up.  “This is all about redefining what our role is as a parent. It is not the authoritarian model anymore. It is the guide, the truth teller and the encourager. Not the enforcer, not the half listener, not the critic. That those roles are only going to get us further and further from each other when the idea is right now we need to come closer.” Connect with Rachel:  Website:  handsfreemama.com Facebook: facebook.com/TheHandsFreeRevolution Instagram:  @handsfreerevolution Twitter: @handsfreemama FREE LIVE LOVE NOW LISTENING PLAN:  Click here for special 7-day listening plan for Don’t Mom Alone Listeners Links Mentioned:   Live Love Now [BOOK] Only Love Today [BOOK] Amy McCready--Positive Parenting Solutions Pre-order Bonuses--21-Day Self-Care Listening Plan AND 4 Downloadable Tools for Connection Ask “Heart Questions vs. Performance Questions” Practice phrases that take you “From Conflict to Calm” Consider if you are an “Easy-to-Be-Around Adult” Exclusive Phone Lock Screen - “Connecting by Protecting” Summer of Mentorship Podcast Club Discussion Questions: What kind of parenting model did you grow up with? How has that model influenced your parenting today? Do you see your role as more of an enforcer or an encourager? What are some problem areas for your child(ren) that you can bring them in on finding a solution?  Could taking the time to listen to them make a difference in how you both respond? What is one thing you’d like to implement this week from Rachel’s talk?

1 Juli 202435min

Do you notice our culture (especially online) is full of people who all think their opinion is correct and want to argue? Do you wish you had the tools to help your child think for themselves and have deep conversations? Julie Bogart; author, podcaster, and creator of Brave Writers; is here to help us teach our kids how to have critical thinking skills and how to use those tools as parents. In a world full of people defending their views and trying to convince everyone around them that their way is the right way, Julie shows us how to have real conversations. Many of us grew up with authoritarian parents and have moved all the way over to the gentle parenting side but Julie explains how both are not the best way forward.  She gives many ideas on how to approach conversations, especially with our teens, using imagination, curiosity, and empathy to understand them better.  She teaches us how to pay attention in uncomfortable conversations and how that is a critical thinking opportunity. This episode is full of wisdom and tons of ideas on how to teach our children to think well. From how little kids learn through play to how our big kids learn through reading and expanding their worldview. The goal is to have deep and meaningful relationships that go far beyond their years in our home and this episode equips us to build better conversations and relationships.  Connect with Julie Bogart:  Website:  Brave Writer | Writing programs and online classes Facebook: Brave Writer Instagram:  Julie Sweeney (@juliebravewriter) Links Mentioned:   The Brave Learner: by Julie Bogart Raising Critical Thinkers: by Julie Bogart Becoming a Critical Thinker: by Julie Bogart Inside Out Approach to Parenting Our Challenging Child [BLOG POST] DMA Podcast Clubs (scroll down, look for box to input email address if you want support) Related Episodes: Factual News, Flexible Thinking and Family Moral Imperatives :: Sharon McMahon [Ep 332] Crafting Your Family Culture :: Rebecca Hagelin {Ep 124} Parenting Ahead :: Kristen Hatton [Ep 409] Featured Sponsors:  Green Chef: Go to Greenchef.com/dma50 and use code dma50 to get 50% off, plus 20% off your next two months.  Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma  BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp.com/dma  today to get 10% off your first month. Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

24 Juni 202448min

Today’s podcast kicks off with a real-life example of how the enneagram can improve relationships and facilitate healthy conflict resolution. Heather sent our guest, Beth McCord, a less than friendly email recently and Beth responded with grace and understanding because she knows how to navigate our personalities, what a gift.  Our guest Beth is a well-known speaker, author, teacher, enneagram coach, podcaster, and more. She has honed her skill of understanding personalities while helping people find freedom in Christ.  We ask her the big question of how to approach the enneagram from a Biblical perspective when there are so many rumors swirling around that its roots are ungodly. At the end of the day, this is a tool to bring freedom to relationships and Beth reminds us the goal is to be a non-anxious connected presence to our kids. Her new book is about motherhood and how we approach our children and conflict based on our personalities and how to heal in unhealthy areas so we can be whole. Stick around to the end where she nails our enneagram types when it comes to mom life, work, and friendship.  Connect with Beth McCord:  Website:  Your Enneagram Coach | Free Enneagram Test, Courses, and Coaching Facebook: Your Enneagram Coach Instagram:  Beth McCord | (@yourenneagramcoach) Links Mentioned:   Eight Sleep | The Intelligent Sleep System Should Christians Use the Enneagram I Origins of the Enneagram Gospel For Enneagram | Tyler Zach More Than Your Number: Beth McCord The Enneagram for Moms: Beth McCord Becoming Us: Beth McCord 9 Enneagram Type Core Motivations Enneagram Assessment - Your Enneagram Coach The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery: Ian Cron Beth’s Sidetracked Show : Dark Matter  Beth’s Sidetracked Amazon Purchase: Inflatable Baby Seat for Babies 3 Months and Up, Baby Floor Seats for Sitting Up  Related Episodes: The Enneagram, Marriage and the Gospel :: Beth McCord [Ep 259] Enneagram and Stress :: Ian Cron Recap [Bonus Episode] The Enneagram and Motherhood :: Suzanne Stabile [Ep 232] Featured Sponsors:  Honeylove: Treat yourself to the best bras on the market and save 20% Off at honeylove.com/DMA . Use our exclusive link to get 20% off - to find your perfect fit.  Rhone:  Upgrade your closet with Rhone and use DMA to save 20% at https://www.rhone.com/DMA Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

17 Juni 202457min

Father’s Day is quickly approaching and Dustin Nickerson- Comedian, author, and podcaster- is here to share all things funny and serious about parenting. On his podcast with his wife Melissa, they laugh at and also talk about the tough parts of parenting. I ask him about what it is like to try and balance family, travel for work, and attempt to have meaningful connections in friendships. The more busy we get with families and work the harder it is to lean in and make those very important relationships a priority. Dustin brings tons of joy to the parenting journey as he talks about fighting while hiking, kids with ADHD, and stolen cupcakes.  Connect with Dustin Nickerson:  Website:  Dustin Nickerson Facebook: Dustin Nickerson Instagram:  @dustinnickerson Links Mentioned:   Don't Make Me Come Back There with Dustin and Melissa Nickerson How to Be Married (to Melissa): by Dustin Nickerson  Dustin Nickerson at Addison Improv Related Episodes: #FeelFreetoLaugh :: Jordan Watts [Ep 137] Raising Emotionally Strong Boys :: David Thomas [Ep 368] ADHD :: Sara Furlich [Ep 165] Featured Sponsors:  StoryWorth: Give all the “fathers” in your life a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years–StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to Storyworth.com/dma.  BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month and get on your way to being your best self. Thrive Causemetics: Refresh your everyday look with Thrive Causemetics. Luxury beauty that gives back. Right now, you can get an exclusive 10% off your first order at thrivecausemetics.com/DMA.  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

10 Juni 202448min