The Covert Narcissist

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. Welcome back to the Covert Narcissist. Wow - Season 3! And I promised something special for this season. I’ve been going back and fourth about doing this, because I don’t want to stir up Swifties and cause rage. Disclaimer: I am a massive Swiftie myself. I know all the songs by heart, I’m that person who searches for clues and easter eggs in Music Videos and public appearances and I will see her on tour. No one wants to hurt her reputation less than I do. But this is a Podcast about covert narcissism. And in her song anti-hero, a line caused my attention: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?” We know that Taylor is a terrific songwriter and most of her songs are based on her personal experience. She also said in her Midnights Mayhem, and I quote here: “"We all hate things about ourselves, and it's all of those aspects of the things we dislike and like about ourselves that we have to come to terms with if we're going to be this person. So I like 'Anti-Hero' a lot because I think it's really honest." With that in mind, let’s go down this rabbit hole. Let’s assume Taylor Swift did not mean to call herself a Covert Narcissist for fun, but that she is indeed a Covert Narcissist. In Season 3, I want to dedicate each episode to an album by Taylor Swift, scanning her lyrics for covert narcissistic clues. I’m only using the original albums, no re-recordings or bonus tracks from deluxe versions etc. Of course all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt as with any piece of literature, things are open to interpretation and what I might see as a clue, holds to someone else a completely different meaning.

21 Nov 20237min

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. Welcome back to the Covert Narcissist. Wow - Season 3! And I promised something special for this season. I’ve been going back and fourth about doing this, because I don’t want to stir up Swifties and cause rage. Disclaimer: I am a massive Swiftie myself. I know all the songs by heart, I’m that person who searches for clues and easter eggs in Music Videos and public appearances and I will see her on tour. No one wants to hurt her reputation less than I do. But this is a Podcast about covert narcissism. And in her song anti-hero, a line caused my attention: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?” We know that Taylor is a terrific songwriter and most of her songs are based on her personal experience. She also said in her Midnights Mayhem, and I quote here: “"We all hate things about ourselves, and it's all of those aspects of the things we dislike and like about ourselves that we have to come to terms with if we're going to be this person. So I like 'Anti-Hero' a lot because I think it's really honest." With that in mind, let’s go down this rabbit hole. Let’s assume Taylor Swift did not mean to call herself a Covert Narcissist for fun, but that she is indeed a Covert Narcissist. In Season 3, I want to dedicate each episode to an album by Taylor Swift, scanning her lyrics for covert narcissistic clues. I’m only using the original albums, no re-recordings or bonus tracks from deluxe versions etc. Of course all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt as with any piece of literature, things are open to interpretation and what I might see as a clue, holds to someone else a completely different meaning.

19 Okt 20239min

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. Welcome back to the Covert Narcissist. Wow - Season 3! And I promised something special for this season. I’ve been going back and fourth about doing this, because I don’t want to stir up Swifties and cause rage. Disclaimer: I am a massive Swiftie myself. I know all the songs by heart, I’m that person who searches for clues and easter eggs in Music Videos and public appearances and I will see her on tour. No one wants to hurt her reputation less than I do. But this is a Podcast about covert narcissism. And in her song anti-hero, a line caused my attention: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?” We know that Taylor is a terrific songwriter and most of her songs are based on her personal experience. She also said in her Midnights Mayhem, and I quote here: “"We all hate things about ourselves, and it's all of those aspects of the things we dislike and like about ourselves that we have to come to terms with if we're going to be this person. So I like 'Anti-Hero' a lot because I think it's really honest." With that in mind, let’s go down this rabbit hole. Let’s assume Taylor Swift did not mean to call herself a Covert Narcissist for fun, but that she is indeed a Covert Narcissist. In Season 3, I want to dedicate each episode to an album by Taylor Swift, scanning her lyrics for covert narcissistic clues. I’m only using the original albums, no re-recordings or bonus tracks from deluxe versions etc. Of course all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt as with any piece of literature, things are open to interpretation and what I might see as a clue, holds to someone else a completely different meaning.

8 Okt 20238min

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. Welcome back to the Covert Narcissist. Wow - Season 3! And I promised something special for this season. I’ve been going back and fourth about doing this, because I don’t want to stir up Swifties and cause rage. Disclaimer: I am a massive Swiftie myself. I know all the songs by heart, I’m that person who searches for clues and easter eggs in Music Videos and public appearances and I will see her on tour. No one wants to hurt her reputation less than I do. But this is a Podcast about covert narcissism. And in her song anti-hero, a line caused my attention: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?” We know that Taylor is a terrific songwriter and most of her songs are based on her personal experience. She also said in her Midnights Mayhem, and I quote here: “"We all hate things about ourselves, and it's all of those aspects of the things we dislike and like about ourselves that we have to come to terms with if we're going to be this person. So I like 'Anti-Hero' a lot because I think it's really honest." With that in mind, let’s go down this rabbit hole. Let’s assume Taylor Swift did not mean to call herself a Covert Narcissist for fun, but that she is indeed a Covert Narcissist. In Season 3, I want to dedicate each episode to an album by Taylor Swift, scanning her lyrics for covert narcissistic clues. I’m only using the original albums, no re-recordings or bonus tracks from deluxe versions etc. Of course all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt as with any piece of literature, things are open to interpretation and what I might see as a clue, holds to someone else a completely different meaning.

17 Sep 20237min

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. Welcome back to the Covert Narcissist. Wow - Season 3! And I promised something special for this season. I’ve been going back and fourth about doing this, because I don’t want to stir up Swifties and cause rage. Disclaimer: I am a massive Swiftie myself. I know all the songs by heart, I’m that person who searches for clues and easter eggs in Music Videos and public appearances and I will see her on tour. No one wants to hurt her reputation less than I do. But this is a Podcast about covert narcissism. And in her song anti-hero, a line caused my attention: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism?” We know that Taylor is a terrific songwriter and most of her songs are based on her personal experience. She also said in her Midnights Mayhem, and I quote here: “"We all hate things about ourselves, and it's all of those aspects of the things we dislike and like about ourselves that we have to come to terms with if we're going to be this person. So I like 'Anti-Hero' a lot because I think it's really honest." With that in mind, let’s go down this rabbit hole. Let’s assume Taylor Swift did not mean to call herself a Covert Narcissist for fun, but that she is indeed a Covert Narcissist. In Season 3, I want to dedicate each episode to an album by Taylor Swift, scanning her lyrics for covert narcissistic clues. I’m only using the original albums, no re-recordings or bonus tracks from deluxe versions etc. Of course all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt as with any piece of literature, things are open to interpretation and what I might see as a clue, holds to someone else a completely different meaning.

13 Sep 20237min

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. My last tool is somewhat related to the last episode. Learn to connect. The good news is: That’s a skill, that can actually be trained and learned! As a covert narcissist, we of course know how to connect, but only if it serves us. We manipulate people to like us, usually people with a higher social status, be it because of their position, their looks, their charisma etc. But that’s not a real connection. Using someone, manipulating them and being someone you’re not around them, that’s not connecting.

8 Aug 20236min

I’m a covert narcissist and working towards being a better person to myself and to others. I’ve created this podcast because after I was diagnosed with my personality disorder and have accepted the facts, I wanted to learn more about it. I’ve found dozens of books written by or for victims of narcissistic abuse, but have found almost no help for Covert Narcissists themselves. I understand why that is. Most narcissists will not acknowledge their narcissism or are willing to change. It’s also my understanding that Covert Narcissism is a somewhat recent discovery, and experts are still trying to figure out how to effectively help people diagnosed with the personality disorder. So I decided to use my insights to on the one hand give victims of narcissistic abuse an unfiltered view into my brain and maybe help them heal, but mostly to reach out to other Covert Narcissists who are trying to be less toxic. Today's tool is probably one of the hardest. No - THE hardest. Open Conversations. You see, us covert narcissists only have open conversations for 2 reasons. Reason 1 is to play the victim. We can talk for hours about how everything in our life is awful, overdramatizing every detail, looking for sympathy. The other reason is to get the other person to open up so we can learn about their weaknesses, which we can use against them later in life. For that purpose, we carefully curate what we want to reveal. When I say open conversations, I don’t refer to any of those 2 conversations. Listen to the podcast to find out how open conversation can help you on your journey.

19 Juli 20236min

In Season 2 of the Covert Narcissist I want to try help other Covert Narcissists. I have created 5 episodes which will focus on my personal tools which have helped me ease the pain. These tools may not work for everyone and you certainly have to put in the effort. In this episode. I want to talk to you about journaling. Journaling in a way that helped me. Just as the last 2 episodes, journaling is a somewhat hyped topic. There’s huge number of podcasts and self-help books on the topic of journaling. I’ve tried journaling, but it didn’t quite help me the way I hoped. I found that journaling focuses a lot on gratitude. I wasn’t ready for gratitude. I am sure that if you journal daily, sooner or later the feeling of gratitude will kick in, but I don’t have the patience for that. So what am I doing instead? I’ve started a Covert Narcissist Journal. Listen to this episode to learn what that is.

14 Juli 20236min