Your Kickstarter Sucks

Hey just so you know, the movie I was trying to think of was The Void. It doesn’t come up until way later in the episode, and it does seem like I’m about to get it but honestly I don’t. I get kinda close and then about 5 minutes after we’re done, I figure it out. It ain’t all happy endings, folks. Anyway on today’s show, we’re tossing and turning over Dan’s Proposition, oh and we’re sleepkicking a little bit sure, and we’re telling you why Bill Gates stuck us all with Micro$uck Winblows. Plus a bunch of crap to help you sleep different and eat weirder. It’s YKS time baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I looooooove YKS Premium so much…I might just marry it! And you are invited to the ceremonies. You can be a guest with access to hundreds of hours of bonus audio content, a member of the wedding party, privy to tons of video episodes and a special VIP Squeeze Louise reception, or you can straight up marry DB if you want. I don’t give a damn. More free food for me!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Spectrum Boutique Our friend Zoë Ligon has a dildo shop! We talked with her on YKS Premium a few months ago about the importance of pleasure and the rather unique ways people have figured out to get their nutt off. Good news! You can buy a lot of those at Spectrum! Use promo code YKS for 10% off and tell our friend Zoë that the YKS boys want ya to cum! HelloFresh Hello, hello, hello, Fresh. Yum yum yum. Food is good. And it’s nice to eat. Of course you know the rest. We all do. That’s what makes this country great! It’s 2022, why aren’t we getting food in the mail? Oh wait…we are! And it’s pretty good food, too. Thanks, HelloFresh! Get 16 free meals at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Backbone Gamer Alert! Like playing games? Have a phone? Well Backbone, the best controller for mobile gaming, is for you! Don’t like playing games? No problem, it probably helps you check your emails in a super fun way. Call your mom while using the Backbone. What will happen? Not sure! Get access to over 350 games and perks for FREE at PlayBackbone.com/YKSBetterHelp I get by with a little help…from the computer! What! Yep that’s right. Ringo was wrong, and we have evolved past the need for friends. Alright well maybe it would be good to get some friends still. I’m thinking sometime in my 40s? Until then, there’s therapy. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Sep 20221h 55min

Monday morning...oh shucks. I was just getting to love the weekend, and now it's gone! Maybe Monday should be the weekend too. Then we'd start the week on Tuesday, nice and fresh. I guess then Tuesday would be the new Monday. Garfield would be fucking pissed, but who cares about that racist? That's right, Garfield the cat was racist. I mean, probably, right? That was a long time ago. It would almost be surprising if he weren't. Piece of shit. Anyway on today's show we've doing a lunchbag takeover with our friend Dan the Glizzy King, getting favstar notifications for our weather reports, and doing the world's shortest update on an old Kickstarter. Plus, Master P is on this one. Remember that guy? Yep, we did too. That's why we did it. Anyway, check it out. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Often it has been said, "YKS is the cure for the common podcast"! And by many highly intelligent, very empathetic, and physically strong individuals, to boot! But what if, every now and then, you felt like you needed a lil booster shot? That's where YKS Premium comes in. Every week, and also sometimes it's two times in one week for some absurd reason, the YKS crew injects you with another hour of fresh content. And best of all, it's all ad-free, available in beautiful HD video, and only occasionally about Kickstarter. YKS Premium...have a seat and squirt some of it in your arm! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor: Fresh, healthy meals delivered straight to my front door? Buhh? That's the thing I use to go outside! Well, now it's time to use it for something else. To get food. Try it for yourself and get $130 off at go.factor75.com/yks130Honey: Coupon codes: friend or foe? Sometimes, I just don't know. It seems like they want to help, but they're so hard to find, and sometimes they don't work. It's almost enough to make you give up on them altogether. We need an ally in the Coupon Wars. That's where Honey comes in. Check it out at JoinHoney.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Aug 20221h 48min

YKS freaks...you're gonna love this one. Mike is here, JF too, and oh yeah...a guy by the name of PRODUCER DAN shows up? Heard of him?? Thought so. It's a jam-packed ep this week, as the boys are talkin robotic lawncare, the future of porno, and a third thing you're gonna have to hear to believe. Plus...Ask Yoda App?? Someone got there before us? What the hell?? Fuck! So grab the Stinker Sauce and start squirtin' it around...it's a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Ready to take this YKS thing up a notch? Check out YKS Premium. It's so much fun, it should be illegal! But if it was, it would be like a super huge problem for me. It would be incredibly bad. Like, life-ruining. So let's call our senators, gang. Or whatever. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Backbone - Hey you got any games on your phone? Well now you do. Backbone's controller makes playing mobile games even better...the only problem is when your annoying family calls you in the middle of a round! Boo family! Yay Backbone! Get yours today, plus a bunch of free stuff at playbackbone.com/yksBetterHelp - Taking care of yourself...what a chore! That's why I like to get someone else in the mix. You know, let them do some of the heavy lifting. Meanwhile, I'm just kind of chilling, right? Hanging back. This is why therapists are so important. Just one man's view, anyway! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yksDiet Smoke - Folks, getting too high can be pretty rough. But on the other hand, what are you gonna do, sit around NOT high? That's why they made Diet Smoke. It's weed, but right in the sweet spot! And legal! Cool! Get 20% off your order -- forever -- at DietSmoke.com with promo code YKS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Aug 20221h 59min

Damn! I need a low-consumption and energy-saving ice-making cooling cup. But where in the hell…oh! I guess I can get it just about every week on Kickstarter: the website that used to be about cryptocurrency, we think. Gang, on today’s show we’re gettin the monchies, okay? We’re going eemee meemee mimee mow, okay? And we’re extracting chicken tendons like there’s no tomorrow. But god willing, there will be a tomorrow. Because there has to be. Because there needs to be. And if there’s not, we’ll make one. For everyone. What the fuck? I don’t know why I said that, sorry. I think I downloaded the Kamala Harris program or something. Anyway enjoy the program. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium is so much fun…YKS Premium is Number One! That’s sort of an alternate history theme song. In a timeline where I wrote the theme songs and really didn’t spend too much time on them…because I was also a world-class glass blowing artisan! Wow! Somebody call the guy who wrote all those alternate histories! Anyway, YKS Premium was a great one last week with the Erin, Adal, and JPC of Hey Riddle Riddle. And this week is exactly the same, except instead of hilarious guests and a cool idea, it’s just the two regular guys with no ideas. Tune in to hear all about “The Goated Player”’s posts of the week, help us decide “What” to “Fund”, and later this month, our Squeeze Louise exclusive mailbag episode drops! Check it out at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by BetterHelp. I guess if you really think about it, your brain is pretty important. Hey, you just used it to have that last thought, right? Well, keep the good thoughts rolling and try some dang therapy. Now, it’s online! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Aug 20221h 42min

You know, it’s not every day that a brand new episode of YKS comes out and immediately gets downloaded to your phone, and you let it suck up 100mb of space while you wait for some bad chores to zone out during. It’s actually every Monday, and as luck would have it, that’s the day of the week that today is! So we put together some questions for our resident Earologist, named the TV Bitch, and remembered fondly the Music City Miracle, plus exposed cancel culture, ate some panties, and made some songs with a computer. Alright, I think that’s good enough to fold laundry to. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt. YKS Premium! It seems hard to believe at times, but there is even more YKS available for listening and viewing! Check us out over at Patreon to catch up on YKS Beach Party, to see our faces move around when we talk, and get our exclusive mailbag episodes! Coming up this week on YKS Premium: our new friends from Hey Riddle Riddle join us and we try to “Stump the Schwab” them! But instead of stumping, it’s Jokeblogger and Facebook riddles, and instead of Schwab, it’s Erin, Adal, and JPC. Stump the Schwab is a sports trivia show that aired on ESPN 2 about 20 years ago. But what I’m talking about comes out on Friday!  This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Now you know they call me Mr. Food for a reason – I’m always eating the stuff! But my word does it get tiring, all the planning and prepping and stuff. Well Factor said, “Forget about it!” and put some of the nice food in a box so they can mail it to you! Nice! I love mail! Get $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120 Athletic Greens - Green: it’s one of the colors on the big color wheel and rainbow and stuff, but it’s also something you can eat that gives you energy and vitamins and extra HP. Get 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yks Betterhelp - Help! I need somebody! Help! Probably can’t write out the rest of the lyrics for copyright reasons, and also I should say, I wasn’t writing lyrics, I was just talking out loud. And I was using voice to text. And it was my neighbor talking. Anyway sometimes you need some help, and for my money, therapy’s a good place to get it. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Aug 20222h 1min

What’s this episode of YKS about? Well, I can tell you what it’s NOT about: saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, dietary fiber, total sugars, added sugars, vitamin D, calcium, iron, or potassium. Plus it comes in a small aluminum can with a “color swirl design”, and can be purchased in quantities of 8 or 24. And it tastes alright once you get to be in your 30s. Plus, we’re talking woke fetuses, sales couches, and morbin’ time. Basically a bunch of stupid crap you can see if you go on the computer. And I shoved a “Beach Plum” up my ass. Whatever that is. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! The only place they let us actually be ourselves! This past week, we finished up YKS Beach Party with the one and only Howell Dawdy! Join us for an in-depth discussion of Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls, aka Silly Movie 2. Was it Jacko’s finest work? Well, uh. No! But it was fun anyway. Plus, tomorrow, the Squeeze Louise Mailbag drops! Get YKS Premium today or upgrade your sub to see all our video episodes at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:HelloFresh - Meals = Food. imagine I just wrote that on the chalkboard at the front of the class. Intimidating, huh? Well, it shouldn’t be. Ideally, you should have this stuff sent to your house in a big box, which you can then open up with like a knife or fork or something. Then it’s time to eat. And hey, you already got the knife and fork. Nice! Get 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 BetterHelp - I love my brain! But damn it needs to get it in gear sometimes. That’s why I get plenty of sleep, do my little exercises, and yes, go to therapy! It’s all part of whipping my brain into submission. Throw in going on the computer as well? Forget about it! Get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Aug 20221h 50min

Mike and JF…they are are one “Odd Couple”. Sure, “I Love Lucy”, but something about these two really makes me smile. I guess you could say I’m “Bewitched” by them. Oh, you don’t listen? Well, hey, “Diff’rent Strokes” for different folks. By the way, I have captured and tied up the extraterrestrial creature known as “ALF”; he’s in my basement right now! And so on. Today’s YKS is a good one for everybody but Italians I’m sorry to say, but the rest of you are going to be treated to some new kitchen innovations, a twisted ripoff card game of a twisted ripoff card game, and believe it or not, a really corny and stupid webcomic! It’s a “The Facts Of Life” that you’re gonna like this one! Sorry I closed the Nick at Nite Wiki and couldn’t remember any other ones. Okay see ya.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Bikinis? Check. Robot sidekicks? Check. Michael Jackson? Say whaaaa? The YKS Beach Party continues over at YKS Premium! This week we’re talking the King of Pop’s final scripted role, as Agent MJ in a film known elsewhere as Silly Movie 2 and stateside as Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls. This pile of shit was so disgustingly bad we couldn’t bear to ask anyone normal to do it, so we got our friend,thememaster, and guy who loves garbage, Howell Dawdy back on to put it out of its misery!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Diet Smoke - There’s nothing worse than being way too high. For some people, this may seem like hyperbole. For certain handsome others, it’s all too true! That’s where Diet Smoke’s “Just Right” level comes in. Plus they got a bunch of new flavors and sodas (SODAAAA!) too. Get 20% off every single time you use the code YKS20 at DietSmoke.comHoney - Prices go up…and so does my temper! Leading economists have termed this relationship “The Invisible Market”. But with Honey, we have an incredible tool to battle inflation (and maybe other types of -flation? Not sure). Just grab the free extension at JoinHoney.com/YKS and start clicking away to Savingstown! Now that’s what I call “Price Elasticity of Demand” (??)PolicyGenius - Life Insurance…now there’s a product that, when you buy it, you hope you never have to use it. But statistically speaking, everyone who has ever been born will most likely “pass away”. What a bummer. But it doesn’t have to be a bummer to shop for life insurance, and Policy Genius has seen to that. Their marketplace makes it easy to get the best price on the biggest policies…trust me, I used it! I’m being serious. It’s good to have life insurance. Check it out at PolicyGenius.com. I’m serious! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Juli 20221h 57min

You know what they say about sequels…they’re just as good, if not much better, everyone comes away from them feeling satisfied, and more importantly, wanting even more! That’s why we decided to burn the candle at both ends and pump out another YKS Nights! It’s not because we’re fucking up our schedules! It’s a creative decision! This week we’ve got an answer to the question “What was John Wick like before the movies, and if it wasn’t Keanu Reeves in it?” , some shoes so ugly even JF wouldn’t wear them, and a device for killing bugs that makes that salt shotgun look ingenious by comparison. Plus, Producer Dan eats a burger LIVE! You ain’t gonna get that anywhere else…unless you see Dan walking around, I guess. In which case, DO NOT APPROACH! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.The Beach Party over at YKS Premium continues! Last week we had our friend Demi Lardner on for a game-packed show you’ll have to hear/see to believe! This week, Alex Goldman and the boys head to Camp…KnowhutImean?? This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Doctor Butler’s - You ever get some stuff going on “down there”? Tried sitting on an ice cube and it just don’t cut the mustard? Well that’s why “the doc” came up with his famous five star ointments and wipes. Get 20% off your order at DoctorButlers.com when you use the code YKS at checkout! Your ass will thank you!HelloFresh - Meals, meals, meals, what are we up to, 3 a day now? How am I supposed to keep up with all the nonsense? Well, you can have a plan. A meal plan, that is! And you ain’t gonna get a better one than HelloFresh. Fresh, high quality ingredients you cook in your own home? Is that even legal? Oh yeah, I guess so. Probably not even a question, was it? Get 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16! It’s legal!BetterHelp - This is your brain…this is your brain on 100% synthetic motor oil. Or something like that, I think. Your brain is a car. Get it? Start taking care of it! Sure you could pop a vitamin or go sit in the sun for a while – and you should! – but another way to do it is online therapy. And you can get 10% off your first month of that very thing at BetterHelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Juli 20221h 51min