Your Kickstarter Sucks

It’s Arts and Crafts Time, It’s Arts and Crafts Time…It’s time to make…this hat! On today’s show, appropriately enough, we are talking about the devilish ways of Nature’s Demons: Children, as JF has a showdown at the D&B Corral with the Token Ticket Coward. Also, ever wonder when we’re gonna get Capitalism II? Yeah, we did too. It’s so good. We invented it! Plus we got a tree that grows on your computer, a type of doll you can make whoopee with, and some real Iron Man tech if Tony Stark had like $56 instead of a million trillion. Spin your luck now! And download this shit!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS? Yup, yup. Heard it a million times before. People want more YKS but they don’t know where to get it. Well how about this. Sign up for YKS Premium on Patreon and download all the extra episodes you want. Hey it’s only $5! Which is probably worth like $4 now a days. So who cares!Oh yeah, and you can come see us LIVE at Zanies on April 20th when the Doughboys come to town! Grab your tickets here, but just a heads up you can only buy 8 per person. Sucks!This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks:NordVPN You already know!!! You already know!! Get an exclusive discount and a month for free and a gift on top of it all at NordVPN.com/YKS or when you use the code YKS at checkout.Faherty - Go JF Style on the sweater game with Faherty and shove it in everyone’s face who said you didn’t have nice sweaters and couldn’t pick out a nice sweater if your life depended on it. Get 20% off your order at FahertyBrand.com when you use promo code YKS at checkout. Diet Smoke - Hey maaaaan, wanna get high? Statistically speaking, your answer to this question is most likely, “yes”. But sometimes we just can’t afford to go to the damn moon. We got stuff to do later! That’s where Diet Smoke comes in. A reasonable (and legal!) high that tastes like candy. Folks we’re in Jetsons territory here. Use code YKS20 at checkout for 20% off your order at DietSmoke.com – and then keep on using it. YKS20 is good forever!Honey - Now I’ve done a good job listing the discount codes we’d like for you to use up there. But the truth is, not everyone is so good at getting the word out. That’s why they invented Honey – let the cute little app go lookin’, so you don’t have to. He needs something to do! Download Honey now for free at JoinHoney.com/YKS and start finding your discounts today. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Mars 20221h 47min

Daylight Savings WHAAA? The clock may be going totally wacko, but the calendar, my friends...well, the calendar is staying on point! Another Monday has appeared, and it's time to post the episode of YKS we all will love to listen to. Now is the point, of course, at which we all realize that JF has left his notes for the episode downstairs and doesn't want to go get them so we're gonna have to figure this out on our own. Folks, on today's show we've got a candle device that even Mike won't use, a hilarious TV show, or channel, or something, that's going to save Earth, and a new speaker idea that I wouldn't even play Justin Bieber's latest album on. Wow! We did it! And I didn't even have to go downstairs! Nice work everyone. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Oh Hello Dearie! Well, you'll be wanting to hear more YKS now then, won't you? My, my my. I suppose you'll need to head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon then, won't you? This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks:NordVPN - The internet is the door of entertainment...and all you need is the key. That's where NordVPN comes in. It's the key to the thing I said earlier. Get a deal that'll make your ISP blush at NordVPN.com/YKSTrueBill - Sure, we've all heard of BrewTill, the place where we pony up for IPAs and Dobbelbocks and so forth. But TrueBill? The new app saving their members millions?? Absolutely. And in some ways, it's arguably more real than the other thing I said. Get yourself started at Truebill.com/YKSFactor - Healthy eating is great, and so is getting mail, but who has the time anymore, much less the genius to combine those two things into one fabulous enterprise? Well the answer to the first part is you, and the answer to the 2nd part is Factor. But one doesn't really make sense without the other. I structured it like a weird riddle, sorry. Enjoy $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120BetterHelp - Therapy...it's that thing that makes you go "Oh yeah. Good idea." But you know, you get in the car, you drive around, and you end up back home again. What the heck! Driving the car is too hard. That's why BetterHelp is bringing the therapy to the computer world: where we all live! Yaaay! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Mars 20221h 38min

Whether you love a big piece of milk, having lots of Jameses, or the classic "kill your fuckin self game", Episode 241 of the Your Kickstarter Sucks Podcast is sure to please. Sorry I just watched The Meg and it was so good that I put off writing this episode description for too long and I had to go into SEO mode. We really could have done multiple Turteltaubs for Jesseuary! The guy knows what we like...when you think you have the big shark but then another, bigger shark comes along and eats you and the original big shark. Incredible stuff. Plus we got two Llama games on the show, which is more than usual. And really, many would say, two too many. To hell with them! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! That's the place to get more YKS, if you've "prestiged" out of the currently available episodes. Or, hell, just want to support a boy and his dream to annoy his friend by making him talk about toilet scrubbers every week. Jesseuary has come and gone, but an outrageous amount of bonus content awaits you behind Patreon's velvet ropes: collaborations with our friends from Blocked Party, Hollywood Handbook, Doughboys, and more. And better yet, we get absolutely crazy and sick nasty with it. Check it out. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh -- You already know what time it is! It's time to get meals...delivered to your house...and then you cook them? HelloFresh, you are crazy for this one! But it's just crazy enough to work...Hey, call my bluff with up to 16 free meals at HelloFresh.com/yks.Athletic Greens -- Healthy and tasty...yeah I think those are called opposites! Well, with Athletic Greens, opposites attract. You got your vitamins, minerals, the whole shebang in here, and it tastes good to boot. And no, it's not boot flavored! Get 5 free travel packs of AG1 plus a year's supply of Vitamin D at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.NordVPN -- Just when you thought tech couldn't get any more bada$$...they come out with NordVPN. Get a yoooge discount off your plan plus a bonus month and a gift at NordVPN.com/yks. How can you afford not to do this? Seriously! I'm asking! BetterHelp -- Taking care of yourself mentally...now that's what I call a baller attitude towards self care. Kiss the uncomfortable waiting room goodbye (not literally because of covid, of course) and get 10% off your first month of affordable and private online therapy at BetterHelp.com/yks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Mars 20221h 48min

Welcome to iPodcast, the very first podcast for your phone!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.You've heard all about it, you've read the articles, you've seen the awards. And now, Jesseuary is wrapping up over at the YKS Premium Patreon. We've got great guests, incredible games, and wall to wall analysis of some of Cinema's most overlooked films. The only problem is, there's no way to hear it! Oh wait a minute, what the HELL am I talking about? All you have to do is type in Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucks or better yet, click that damn link, and be whisked away to the payment portal where we will ask but a humble $5 for years and years of content. Lock in at our $8 Squeeze Louise tier for even MORE bonus episodes, including this week's Jesseuary finale, featuring the boys from Podcast The Ride and The Sorcerer's Apprentice! Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks:NordVPN! Where my tech heads at! If you love tech like we do, you already know the benefits of a VPN. But lemme toss everyone else a hint: it's Very imPortant and Nice! Get it?? Good. Head over to NordVPN.com/YKS and use that code YKS for a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 1 additional month for free + a bonus gift! Athletic Greens! "Ohhhh I HATE having good gut health!" - That's what we all sounded like in our 20s, every single one of us, without exception. But gang, the truth of the matter is, we gotta get our butts in gear here, and of course our butts start right up in the stomach area (not a doctor). Give yourself the dadgum vitamins and so forth you need every day, with 5 free travel packs and a year supply of Vitamin D, at AthleticGreens.com/YKSCodecademy! Wow, tech heads, our cup really runneth over this week. You know I've been meaning to learn how to actually work a computer instead of just clicking around on the stupid thing. Whether it's Ruby, Python, or even the classic HTML, the computer uses a variety of languages that aren't English to communicate its wants and needs. Uncover its many mysteries today by learning to speak your laptop's native tongue! Use promo code YKS to get 15% off Codecademy Pro, the best way to learn to code!BetterHelp! I recently heard 99.99% of the American workforce is work from home now, so why not work...on yourself...from home? Makes sense, right? Well I don't know, I'm just riffing. But if you'd like to talk to someone who can actually tell you if stuff makes sense or not, check out BetterHelp.com/YKS and get 10% off your first month of "helping me figure out if this stuff makes sense". Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Feb 20221h 45min

Wow! It's already Episode 239, what a milestone! To celebrate the momentous occasion, we decided to do something different...we made this one funny. That's right, we packed this baby to the brim with jokes, goofs, gaffes, and gags, and if you don't double over laughing out of both ends by the time this one is through, we will refund you every damn dollar you've ever paid to listen to our (free episodes only, and actually not even those) show. On this week's episode, we two G.U.Y.s come up with some new twists on classic comics, smell a mummy, and meet a new friend, Mr. $10,000! Plus we got the latest Superman flick (looks good!), a novel way to deal with little buggy guys, and the most politically confusing BBQ sauce we've ever seen. All that and more, again free of charge so no one can get too mad about it, only on YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.***W@W! L@@K! Jesseuary continues over at YKS Premium! Who ya gonna call? Well, this Friday it'll be our friend from Secret Base, Kofie Yeboah, answering the call, and we'll be talking all about the one Ghostbusters movie everyone can agree pissed the most people off. Except me! I loved it.***Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine folks: Athletic Greens AG1 Ah! I love the smell of adaptogens in the morning. And AG1 is the best (maybe only, as far as I know) way to get em into a tasty green powder. Plus it's gonna run ya less than 3 bucks a day to get all those vitamins our body is obsessed with for some reason. 3 bucks, what's that...you probably spend that on tissues and paper clips. Make the switch and get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/YKS. Honey! The coupon code field at checkout...it can be your friend or your foe. And at the end of the day, it's really up to them. But if you need an ally in battle, and also the spoils of victory are something like getting $12 off a cool hat, then I think you should link up with our friends at Honey. Try 'em out now at JoinHoney.com/YKS and send that coupon code field back to hell!HelloFresh! We all know the feeling...eating food?? Again??? Good god, man. I just did that yesterday! Well, look, it may be kind of annoying to take care of yourself and whatnot, but if there's an easier way to get some pretty good tasting and fresh food in your hole than HelloFresh I don't know about it. Get up to 16 free meals by going to HelloFresh.com/YourKickstarterSucks16 and eat some broccoli and stuff. It's good. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

17 Feb 20221h 46min

Well well well, if it isn't the thing I'm doing while the Super Bowl is on in the background...the episode description! On today's show we're smoking on that Grandma Weed, planning out the forthcoming Willisbember, and telling Deer Park where they can shove their so-called "shitty ass water bottle caps". Plus, we got a way to make drinking booze straight out of the bottle feel even grosser, a way to make smoking weed extremely uncool, and a way to make folding socks, uh, exactly as fun as it already was. How do they do it, folks? Through the power of Jesus Christ! Just kidding. It's from freakin $6 coffee that tastes like shit and has 4000000mg of sugar in it! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Do something nice for yourself this Valentine's Day...subscribe to YKS Premium! Jesseuary has yet to disappoint, and if it has, I don't know about it because I refuse to listen to criticism! This week on the show we welcome first time guest Griffin Newman to the program and pray to God he likes the best movie we've ever done for Jesseuary: Edge of Tomorrow! This is one day you won't mind repeating, so head over to Patreon today and drop $5 on it!This episode of YKS is brought to you by the following BELOVED sponsors: NordVPN! The internet just ain't the internet without NordVPN. Go to NordVPN.com/YKS for a free month and gift, courtesy of your friends Mike and JF. And also the NordVPN guys but we had 'em put a special "Mike and JF" stank on it. Enjoy. Truebill! Is your ex still paying for your Netflix? Well, it's that special day for lovers, so I don't know. Maybe something good will happen? Let 'em do it for like one more day, just to be sure, and then head over to Truebill.com/yks to get those subscriptions under control. Factor! Now you know me gang, I love to put food in my mouth. But what if it was healthy? Could that work? Well, Factor thinks it can. And I gotta say, they hit the nail on the head with this stuff. I gotta get more of those Keto shakes, good golly! Try those and a lot more awesome grub, plus get $120 off at go.FACTOR75.com/yks120 BetterHelp! We hate waiting rooms so much. They make us sick to our very stomachs! And BetterHelp decided, you know what, we hate those freakin' things too. Get 'em outta here! So they did. Get 10% off your first month of the future of counseling at betterhelp.com/yks Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Feb 20221h 32min

Listen up dirtbags! It's time for another YKS. Oh yeah and by the way, you aren't dirtbags. You're actually the closest things we have to friends! And you mean a lot to us, you fucking dirtbags! Fuck you! On today's show, which must have been pretty funny because I did not have time to write down what was going on while we were recording it, we've got a NEW way of signing your name that doesn't make you look like an uneducated oaf, a $200 shoe you can never hoop in, somehow another poker thing, and the latest from the guy who came up with throwing the burrito around and whatever the blowing up kittens game is. Sounds like it was probably around a B+ episode, maybe less. Not bad!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Good news, everyone! (Futurama) Jesseuary continues over at YKS Premium! This week, we've got our friend Libby Watson on to solve the mysterious case of...some other Watson?? That's right, 221b Baker Street is getting YKS-ified as we take on Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes! Get the video of all our Jesseuary eps, so you can see Mike getting mad at the progressively longer theme songs I make to annoy him, on Patreon.Check out Libby's indispensable healthcare newsletter at Sicknote.co. Indispensable would be a good name for it if she ever wants to change it up. But she probably won't... Today's YKS is sponsored by these fine folks: NordVPN - Damn! The computer has no freakin' idea what country I'm in. And it's all thanks to NordVPN, our partners in the world of making the computer think you're in a different place than what you are. Check 'em out at nordvpn.com/YKS or use the code YKS to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 1 additional month for free!HelloFresh - I've heard of acting fresh...but EATING fresh? Well I reckon there's a first time for everything. Or in this case, maybe 16 first times....wink! What the HELL am I talking about? Well why don't ya mosey on over to hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts to find out...Codecademy - Ya know, I've always wanted to improve myself. But actually that's like really hard and stuff so I probably won't. What I can do, however, is learn a new skill...like programming! And when I do, I'll use promo code YKS at Codecademy.com to get 15% off Codecademy Pro, the ONLY way to code!BetterHelp - Mental health...100%. That's what you wanna see on the health bar gang. Promo code YKS will get you 10% off your first month so dump it in there at BetterHelp.com/YKS and kiss your brain for us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Feb 20221h 45min

Somebody said "There's a new episode of YKS!" lol. lmao. On today's show we're going full on Parent Mode with a look at a Christian comic book hero that could finally save the day, a new game of poker that might be able to do the same thing, and of course, some tarot cards with Eminem on them. Right twix...left twix...it really don't matter which side you're on, as long as you're armed with the shield of truth, the knowledge of how to make a website, and some vitamins you can drink. Hell, I don't know if you're gonna like it or not but at least there's some C-3PO in it. It's a new YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Say it with me now: It's Jesseuary time! That's right, gang. Our annual celebration of the best/worst Hollywood has to offer has begun, and the only place to get it is at YKS Premium. This week we're joined by our friends Tom Walker and Demi Lardner of bigsofttitty.png, and we're watchin' The Mummy (2017)! Head on over to Redbox and grab a copy, then subscribe to YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and we'll bring the popcorn! (I actually don't like popcorn that much but I'll have like 4 bites of yours if that's ok). Today's episode of YKS is sponsored by Athletic Greens AG1. Wow! There's so many dadgum vitamins and adaptogens in this sucker I gotta wonder if Dr. Jeykll himself invented it! But this stuff won't turn you into a monster...it'll give you some energy and help your guts. Not bad. Hey Russell Crowe, check this mess out. In fact, whether you're a membe 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts or not, you can get 1 a year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 travel packs of AG1 with your first purchase with our promo code. Check it out at AthleticGreens.com/YKSAlso sponsoring this week's show: Codecademy. You know that thing you look at your damn emails on every day? Yeah, the one with all the crazy posts? Well turns out there's folks out there what know how to make it "get up and go!" And you can too. Whether it's python, java, or any of the other good computer languages to know, Codecademy is the place to learn 'em. Get 15% off your Codecademy Pro membership when you go to Codecademy.com and use promo code YKS. Right now!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

31 Jan 20221h 40min