Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Practical tools to turn down the volume on fawning.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. Her book is FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What is fawning, actually
  • Chronic vs situational fawning
  • The physiological ramifications of fawning
  • How power plays into all of this
  • Ways to get clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that drive your behavior
  • Owning your anger – and how to express it in healthy ways
  • How to know if you're a fawner
  • Practical steps to unfawn
  • Accessible approaches to regulating your nervous system
  • How to set boundaries
  • Fawning and un-fawning in a work context, specifically
  • And her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships… but so does healing

This holiday season, 10% Happier is teaming up with dozens of podcasts for an ambitious goal: to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Join us by visiting GiveDirectly.org/Dan and supporting the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.



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You Can Stop Fixing Yourself: Buddhist Advice on Boundaries, Rituals, and Dropping Your Self-Aggression | Susan Piver

You Can Stop Fixing Yourself: Buddhist Advice on Boundaries, Rituals, and Dropping Your Self-Aggression | Susan Piver

Plus: Why you're a "mystic" even though you don't know it, how to find the "magic" in meditation, and the power of simple apologies (and cleaning the dishes). Susan Piver is a 30 year student of Tibet...

19 Elo 1h 2min

You Can Get Through It: How to Handle the Hardest Things That Will Ever Happen to You | Dr. Lucy Hone

You Can Get Through It: How to Handle the Hardest Things That Will Ever Happen to You | Dr. Lucy Hone

Why the five stages of grief are a myth, a go-to phrase for when everything's falling apart, and three steps for getting through loss. Dr. Lucy Hone is an adjunct fellow at the University of Canterbur...

17 Elo 1h 2min

The Science of Journaling: How 15 Minutes of Writing Can Free Up Your Brain, Improve Your Health, and Make You a Better Friend | Dr. James Pennebaker

The Science of Journaling: How 15 Minutes of Writing Can Free Up Your Brain, Improve Your Health, and Make You a Better Friend | Dr. James Pennebaker

Writing can reduce overthinking, rumination, and anxiety. Here's what the researcher who pioneered the science suggests. James Pennebaker is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Texas...

14 Elo 1h 8min

The Non-BS Science of Manifestation: How Your Imagination Can Help With Pain, Anxiety, Conflict, and Recovery | Cassi Vieten

The Non-BS Science of Manifestation: How Your Imagination Can Help With Pain, Anxiety, Conflict, and Recovery | Cassi Vieten

How elite athletes use visualization to improve performance, why visualization can turbo-charge physical recovery, and the mental trick that can make your nervous system feel safe. Cassi Vieten, PhD, ...

12 Elo 58min

The Neuroscience of Likability, Social Connection, and Brain Health | Ben Rein

The Neuroscience of Likability, Social Connection, and Brain Health | Ben Rein

Ben Rein, PhD is a neuroscientist who studies the biology of social behavior and explains the brain to an audience of over 1.2 million people online. He serves as Chief Science Officer of the Mind Sci...

10 Elo 1h

Self-Help Without Other People Is Just Selfish — and Here's the Science to Prove It | Dan Harris

Self-Help Without Other People Is Just Selfish — and Here's the Science to Prove It | Dan Harris

Dan doesn't usually sit in the interviewee's chair — but when journalist and author Allison Gilbert invited him to speak at the 92nd Street Y as part of their Connected Lives series, he said yes. What...

7 Elo 55min

Resetting Your Nervous System When You're Anxious, Hurting, or Just Powering Through | Johanna Franzel

Resetting Your Nervous System When You're Anxious, Hurting, or Just Powering Through | Johanna Franzel

How to calm down fast with an 'inventory' practice, how to build 'resources' you can call on anytime, and why 'healing' might be the wrong goal to chase. Plus, living with autoimmune disorder, writing...

5 Elo 59min

For The Lonely, Suffocated, or Overextended: How To Balance Your Relationships When Others Won't Change | Nedra Glover Tawwab

For The Lonely, Suffocated, or Overextended: How To Balance Your Relationships When Others Won't Change | Nedra Glover Tawwab

Plus: how to build a village, why your attachment style isn't your destiny, and a two-step method for asking for help that actually works. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and the author of...

3 Elo 1h 4min

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