Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Practical tools to turn down the volume on fawning.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. Her book is FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What is fawning, actually
  • Chronic vs situational fawning
  • The physiological ramifications of fawning
  • How power plays into all of this
  • Ways to get clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that drive your behavior
  • Owning your anger – and how to express it in healthy ways
  • How to know if you're a fawner
  • Practical steps to unfawn
  • Accessible approaches to regulating your nervous system
  • How to set boundaries
  • Fawning and un-fawning in a work context, specifically
  • And her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships… but so does healing

This holiday season, 10% Happier is teaming up with dozens of podcasts for an ambitious goal: to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Join us by visiting GiveDirectly.org/Dan and supporting the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.



Related Episodes:

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Stressed, Stuck, and Overthinking? Here's the Science of Moving Forward | Ranjay Gulati

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The Voice in Your Head Doesn't Have to Ruin Everything | Rachel Martin and Dan Harris

The Voice in Your Head Doesn't Have to Ruin Everything | Rachel Martin and Dan Harris

Practical advice for handling anxiety, envy, and that feeling that you're a bad person. What happens when a deck of cards controls the conversation? On Wild Card, hosted by Rachel Martin, that's the ...

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Are You Living a Good Life? | James Patterson and Patrick Leddin

Are You Living a Good Life? | James Patterson and Patrick Leddin

Most people hesitate before answering. This episode is about what to do with that hesitation. James Patterson is the most popular storyteller of our time and has written more than 200 novels since 19...

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The Science of Regulating Your Nervous System | Dr. Kevin Tracey

The Science of Regulating Your Nervous System | Dr. Kevin Tracey

Plus: How to increase vagal tone, improve heart health, and reduce inflammation. Kevin J. Tracey, MD, is president and CEO of the Feinstein Institutes for Medical Research at Northwell Health, a pione...

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Feel Your Feelings, Drop the Story | Sebene Selassie

Feel Your Feelings, Drop the Story | Sebene Selassie

Why forcing the breath backfires and how to use the four elements to get out of your head. Breath meditation sounds simple in theory. In practice, many meditators find that the moment they pay attent...

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How To Relax The Need To Control Everything | Rosa Lewis

How To Relax The Need To Control Everything | Rosa Lewis

Plus: Navigating the "dark night of the soul," the power of saying "no," and how to be more present. Rosa Lewis is a mystic, awakening guide, artist and writer. She is the author of many books, most r...

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How To Escape Your Brain's Default Mode Network | Zindel Segal and Norman Farb

How To Escape Your Brain's Default Mode Network | Zindel Segal and Norman Farb

Using your senses to reduce overthinking, turn down the voice in your head, and get out of what these scientists call "the house of habit." Dr. Zindel Segal is Distinguished Professor of Psychology in...

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Trudging Through Your Own Life? Here's the Stoic Fix | Maria Semple

Trudging Through Your Own Life? Here's the Stoic Fix | Maria Semple

How to do your best work, reframe life's bullshit, and stop making your happiness hostage to outcomes. Maria Semple is the bestselling author of Today Will Be Different, Where'd You Go, Bernadette, an...

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