Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

Practical tools to turn down the volume on fawning.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. Her book is FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What is fawning, actually
  • Chronic vs situational fawning
  • The physiological ramifications of fawning
  • How power plays into all of this
  • Ways to get clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that drive your behavior
  • Owning your anger – and how to express it in healthy ways
  • How to know if you're a fawner
  • Practical steps to unfawn
  • Accessible approaches to regulating your nervous system
  • How to set boundaries
  • Fawning and un-fawning in a work context, specifically
  • And her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships… but so does healing

This holiday season, 10% Happier is teaming up with dozens of podcasts for an ambitious goal: to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Join us by visiting GiveDirectly.org/Dan and supporting the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.



Related Episodes:

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Jaksot(1012)

The "Wellness" Industry Sells Us On Rigid Optimization. It Doesn't Work–But This Might. | Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya

The "Wellness" Industry Sells Us On Rigid Optimization. It Doesn't Work–But This Might. | Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya

A deep dive on Ayurveda, a sophisticated system for health that's been refined over millennia. Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya is a renowned NAMA-certified Ayurvedic Doctor, the bestselling author of Your Body...

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Why You Don't Exercise Even Though You Know You Should. And Strategies To Get Over the Hump. | Katy Bowman

Why You Don't Exercise Even Though You Know You Should. And Strategies To Get Over the Hump. | Katy Bowman

A toolkit for bringing more movement into your life.   Katy Bowman is a biomechanist who runs a movement education company, called Nutritious Movement. She's the author of 11 books, and her most recen...

12 Tammi 1h 17min

Buddhist Strategies for Protecting Yourself from Everyday Chaos | Bart van Melik

Buddhist Strategies for Protecting Yourself from Everyday Chaos | Bart van Melik

Ever lie awake at night replaying all the moments you lost it with your kids, your partner, or your co-workers? You're not alone. Bart van Melik is back on the show (his first appearance was four year...

11 Tammi 33min

How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

How To Rewrite Your Story, Make Peace with the Past, and Break Old Patterns | Melissa Febos

Practical ways to upgrade your narrative. Melissa Febos is the national bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood, Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative, and a new memoir, Th...

9 Tammi 1h 8min

How To Use Psychology and Buddhism To Handle Your Inner Critic | Amita Schmidt

How To Use Psychology and Buddhism To Handle Your Inner Critic | Amita Schmidt

How psychology and spirituality can work together. Amita Schmidt is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Hawaii. She has taught Vipassana meditation for over thirty years, and was the Resident Teacher...

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Esther Perel: The Modern World Can Sap Your Life Force. Here's How To Recapture It.

Esther Perel: The Modern World Can Sap Your Life Force. Here's How To Recapture It.

The legendary psychotherapist unpacks the concept of "hostile dependency" and explains why cutting people off doesn't always work. Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel i...

5 Tammi 53min

Buddhist Hacks for Anxiety and Overthinking | Joseph Goldstein

Buddhist Hacks for Anxiety and Overthinking | Joseph Goldstein

Today we're gonna talk about some Buddhist hacks for two deeply related and all too common ailments: anxiety and overthinking. Most of us have struggled with one or both of these, and one of the peopl...

4 Tammi 1h 17min

Joseph Goldstein On How To Train Your Runaway Brain

Joseph Goldstein On How To Train Your Runaway Brain

You may have noticed that your mind is out of control. It's filled with racing thoughts, ancient neuroses and grudges, revenge fantasies… So why are we like this and what can be done about it? Today, ...

1 Tammi 1h 8min

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