Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

In Episode 77 of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Chicago-based creator Grayson Howell to talk about the unexpected path that led him into content creation, kink culture, and the world of fisting.


What starts as a conversation about a viral scene with Wyld Rider quickly turns into something deeper. Grayson opens up about his past working as an LGBTQ addiction counselor, the burnout that came with that career, and the moment he decided to finally take a leap and start posting adult content online.


Along the way, the two discuss body confidence, therapy, and how the bear community helped Grayson find a new sense of self. He also shares how experienced friends in Minneapolis guided him through his first fisting experience, turning what started as curiosity into a passion.


The conversation explores Chicago’s massive fetish ecosystem, long-running kink communities, IML, the rise of fisting culture in modern porn, and why mentorship and trust are central to the scene.


Grayson also breaks down his philosophy as a soft dom fisting top, including why training partners slowly, prioritizing chemistry, and emphasizing aftercare makes for the best experiences.


The result is an episode that is funny, thoughtful, and unexpectedly wholesome for a podcast about punching holes.






X (Twitter):

https://x.com/pupgrayson


BlueSky:

https://sweddybear.bsky.social


Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/muleferdan


Linktree (OnlyFans, JustForFans, etc):

https://linktr.ee/sweddybear






Spotify

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse


Apple Podcasts

https://apple.co/408WLLX


Amazon Music & Audible

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse


iHeartRadio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-hungerff-presents-brolapse-290151273


🕗 New episodes drop every Friday at 8PM


🔥 Full video episodes available exclusively at

https://HungerFF.com


Spotify subscribers also get early video access as soon as editing is finished.






Order now:

https://www.hungerff.com/deeper


💎 Limited edition hardcover covers (still available):

https://www.hungerff.com/shop/deeper-hardcover-editions






Ryan is wearing the “Fisting Jesus: Sacred Sleaze Edition” tee in this episode.


Grab it here:

https://hungerff.threadless.com/designs/fisting-jesus-sacred-sleaze-edition






Ryan James is also releasing new music every week through the HungerFF Sound Initiative.


Listen here:

https://www.hungerff.com/music



🎙️ Brolapse is a podcast exploring sex, identity, kink culture, and the people shaping the community from the inside out.


Jaksot(84)

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with Ian Greene for a long-overdue conversation that spans years of crossing paths, shared experiences, and personal evolution.Ian opens up about his fisting ...

21 Helmi 18min

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

In Episode 74 of Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with ⁠John Thomas⁠ for a conversation that goes far beyond the surface of porn.John opens up about his fisting origin story, growing up with religion, gui...

14 Helmi 47min

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Chicago-based creator Wyld Ryder for a candid conversation about confidence, kink, and the slow burn of becoming fully yourself.Wyld opens up abo...

7 Helmi 28min

Episode 72: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part Two)

Episode 72: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part Two)

Episode 72 completes the two-part HungerFF Sound Initiative.Following last week’s introduction, Part Two leans fully into execution, featuring four complete track drops that expand the project’s sound...

1 Helmi 21min

Episode 71: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part One)

Episode 71: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part One)

In Episode 71, HungerFF steps away from traditional interviews and introduces a new music-driven project that blends kink, humor, masculinity, and AI-assisted production. Recorded as an audio-only epi...

31 Tammi 23min

Episode 70: Rocco Steele on Letting Go, Living Truth, and the Chapter After “Rocco”

Episode 70: Rocco Steele on Letting Go, Living Truth, and the Chapter After “Rocco”

Some episodes are fun. Some are loud. And then there are the rare ones that feel like a real conversation you’re lucky to witness.In Episode 70, Rocco Steele joins me for an honest, reflective talk ab...

17 Tammi 1h 8min

Episode 69: No Safe Words — A First Listen to Deeper

Episode 69: No Safe Words — A First Listen to Deeper

For Episode 69 of Brolapse, Ryan James does something different.Instead of a guest, this episode offers a first listen to Deeper—his forthcoming memoir—presented here in its unedited author’s version....

10 Tammi 9min

Episode 68: Intimacy Over Performance — A Fisting Top’s Perspective (feat. Brogan)

Episode 68: Intimacy Over Performance — A Fisting Top’s Perspective (feat. Brogan)

In Episode 68 of Brolapse, Ryan sits down with Brogan for a rare and deeply thoughtful conversation from the perspective of a fisting top—a voice we don’t hear nearly often enough.Brogan shares his un...

3 Tammi 48min

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