SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

SS 037: Gang Bang The Mailbag – Listener Questions on Swinging, Poly & Open

SS 037: Gang Bang The Mailbag – Listener Questions on Swinging, Poly & Open

In our first "Listener Mailbag" episode we answer several questions from voicemail and email, tackling such diverse topics as the hotness of swingers, sexual experience and prowess, how to swing when you have kids, going to swing clubs, male bisexuality, the HIV positive military man swinger, and more

23 Touko 20111h 18min

SS 036: Everybody Loves Orgasms – Swingers, Poly, and Open Cumming Together

SS 036: Everybody Loves Orgasms – Swingers, Poly, and Open Cumming Together

While Dylan fills his ass with first a vibrator, then a butt plug, we giggle our way through a discussion of our favorite thing in the whole world, orgasms. We discuss the differences in the many "spot" orgasms (G-Spot, P-Spot C-Spot U-Spot) and what orgasms feel like for us.

9 Touko 20111h 3min

SS 035: Safer Sex, The Infections Formerly Known as STDs & Swinging – How Swingers & Polyamorists Handle Safer Sex

SS 035: Safer Sex, The Infections Formerly Known as STDs & Swinging – How Swingers & Polyamorists Handle Safer Sex

One of the most concerning topics for anyone looking to get into the swinging or other non-monogamous lifestyles is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection, so we invite Gay Rick from Sex Is Fun, a HIV educator, on to discuss the concept of acceptable risk, how we all need to make the decision for ourselves if our lifestyle is worth the risks inherent in it, and ways to minimize our exposure risks

25 Huhti 20111h 17min

SS 034: Breaking it Down – BDSM In The Swinging Lifestyle

SS 034: Breaking it Down – BDSM In The Swinging Lifestyle

Miss Ami, a full time Domme, returns to The Swingset to discuss how BDSM fits into the swinging and non-monogamous lifestyles, how these worlds collide, and being out as a kinky person. And Dylan's curiosity seems to be moving to full blown obsession

10 Huhti 201155min

SS 033: Spank My Ass! BDSM, Swinging and You

SS 033: Spank My Ass! BDSM, Swinging and You

The Swingset crew invites Miss Ami, a full time Domme to join the discussion about what BDSM stands for, what it means to be Domme/sub, how her lifestyle impacts her life, and why swingers seem to have such difficulty feeling comfortable with those four letters. (Dylan also discovers he might be more interested in exploring this than he thought...)

28 Maalis 201154min

SS 032: Cooper & Marilyn's Excellent Adventure – Swinging at Desire Resort & Spa

SS 032: Cooper & Marilyn's Excellent Adventure – Swinging at Desire Resort & Spa

Cooper and Marilyn just got back from Desire, but in between the nonstop playtime and suntanning and hottubbing and drinking and dining, they found time to record a full trip diary detailing their time spent at Desire Resort & Spa in Cancun. (Well, they found time to record two out of the three trip reports, the third was recorded, sadly, in cold Chicago.) So here it is, in its entirety, Cooper and Marilyn's Excellent Adventure!

14 Maalis 20111h 33min

SS 031: Sex on the Swingset is Fun – Live From Desire, The Sexiest Place on Earth with Kidder Kaper & Lorax

SS 031: Sex on the Swingset is Fun – Live From Desire, The Sexiest Place on Earth with Kidder Kaper & Lorax

In Ep 31, the greatest crossover since The Flintstones met The Jetsons happens as Cooper and Marilyn podcast with Kidder Kaper and Lorax from Sex Is Fun live from an outside bed at Desire in sunny Cancun. They discuss what it's like to be in a world populated by sex positive people, what may be the first publicly accepted bi male blowjob at the resort, the sometimes high tension and heightened drama that can result from such, the sexy times that have been had, first full swaps, newbies, and more!

27 Helmi 20111h 2min

SS 030: Love Thyself – Masturbation and Non-Monogamy

SS 030: Love Thyself – Masturbation and Non-Monogamy

In Ep 30, we discuss masturbation, which Woody Allen called "sex with someone I love," and talk about why, in swinging and non-monogamy, we have all the opportunity in the world for sex and we still continue to jack off and jill off (is that a thing?) We discuss discovering masturbation, techniques, toys, and why we love ourselves

17 Helmi 20111h 4min

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