SS 262: Why We Play With Others

SS 262: Why We Play With Others

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

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Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

SS 006: Those Are The Rules – Defining Your Rules as Swingers

SS 006: Those Are The Rules – Defining Your Rules as Swingers

In Episode 6, the team discusses the importance of having rules in the swinging lifestyle, what's allowed and what isn't, what needs to be discussed beforehand and what doesn't.  We also talk about what to do when rules are broken, and how to decide you need new rules or have outgrown the old. On this

24 Touko 201036min

SS 005: Soft Swap VS Full Swap

SS 005: Soft Swap VS Full Swap

In Episode 5, we talk about the two major terms in the swinging community, soft swap (play but no intercourse with the opposite partner) or full (everybody gets laid) and discuss the complexities in defining each, and the pros and cons.  Sasha also talks about her new website: pleasure-parties.com On this show: Cooper, Sasha, Dylan, &

10 Touko 201035min

SS 004: Compersion VS Jealousy – Swingers Deal With Jealousy

SS 004: Compersion VS Jealousy – Swingers Deal With Jealousy

In Episode 4, we discuss compersion, the term that finds you experiencing pleasure because your partner is experiencing pleasure, versus jealousy, a term we all know. The Swingset gang discusses how to overcome jealousy in many situations, all striving for that nirvana called compersion

29 Huhti 201036min

SS 003: Sad State of Affairs – Swinging in America

SS 003: Sad State of Affairs – Swinging in America

In episode 3 we discuss the sad state of affairs American conciousness is at regarding sexuality, from the RNC's new lesbian-bondage-strippergate, to sex ed, to the pros and cons of staying in the closet as swingers, to sex toys, and the fact that everybody's really just jealous.

14 Huhti 201041min

SS 002: Birds of a Feather – Finding Other Swingers

SS 002: Birds of a Feather – Finding Other Swingers

In our second episode, we continue our logistics of getting into the lifestyle with a look at finding friends and admitting to them and yourself that you want to...well...have sex with them. We discuss first dates, where to go and most importantly how to be safe when opening yourself up

18 Maalis 201044min

SS 001: Dipping a Toe In – How To Start Swinging

SS 001: Dipping a Toe In – How To Start Swinging

In our first podcast we discuss the very beginnings of what to do when you think you may want to have an open relationship. We talk in detail about dealing with that idea yourself and deciding if opening up is right for you. We also deal with the first stages of discussing this with your

4 Maalis 201046min

SS 000: Swinging For Dummies I – Realizing You're Non-Monogamous

SS 000: Swinging For Dummies I – Realizing You're Non-Monogamous

Realizing that our first episode doesn't deal with the first thoughts about non-monogamy nearly as well as episode 59, released two years later, we thought we'd rejigger the episodes up and add a Swingset Zero episode. On this episode we talk about the moment when we realized we were non-monogamous and how we dealt with that paradigm shift, how it impacted our perception of ourselves, and where we take that. We talk about cheating and deception while trying to be monogamous. We discuss the impact of monogamy on bisexuality, the complexity of polyamory, and how to begin. For further adventures in the four-part Swinging For Dummies series, check out episodes 60, 62, and 63

1 Maalis 20101h 1min

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