SS 265: Bi Invisibility & The Closet

SS 265: Bi Invisibility & The Closet

It's no secret that in the pantheon of the LGBT spectrum, bisexual people are looked down upon, told they don't really exist, avoided in dating life. Bisexuals also often feel less pressure to come out, as they can so easily pass as one side or the other. Paradoxically, this leads to bi invisibility and erasure, so we discuss, and make an attempt to deconstruct this in today's episode of Life on the Swingset, along with Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper, and Dylan.

Today's episode of Life on the Swingset is sponsored by Better Than the Hand, a website that aims to deconstruct stigma and toxicity surrounding male sexuality and masturbation through articles, blogs, toy reviews, and an online store. We're also sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

National Coming Out Day was a pretty big deal for Cooper this year. He discussed his reasons as coming out, specifically to his conservative family, as someone who has struggled with his sexuality and is still working through it, and why he chose not to identify to them as queer, even though he specifically identifies with queer.

The conversation moves to reasons why not to come out, whether because livelyhood may be jeopardized (as in Dr. Liz's relaying of her experience of being in the army before Don't Ask Don't Tell was fully repealed), or child custody may be revoked, or any other reason to stay in the closet.

Mike posits that many people aren't all open to themselves (as with straight identified men who still seek men), and mentions that even being the out partner in a gay couple has stress that comes with it.

The panel talks specifically about ways that people specifically disappear bisexuality, telling men who identify as bi that they are gay and they haven't admitted it yet (bi now, gay later), or that bisexual people, because so much effort has been exerted to create the separate gay identity that having a bridge between those identities, muddy the waters.

To Dr. Liz, the conflict presents differently as women, that there's a "penis phobia" that can exist so that bi women who have sex with men are tagged as higher risk because there is less transmission risk between women who only have sex with women. Dr. Liz also takes time to lament the fact that before she got her "super stereotypical queer haircut" everyone assumed she was straight, but now that she has it, everyone assumes she's gay!

Mike brings up that at many events he attends, almost every woman identifies as bisexual even though most men identify as straight, even if they later identify as curious or fluid, and that it may be a holdover from the aids crisis in that if you identified as bi or gay you were automatically more likely to get infected. Dr. Liz adds that there's a challenge to masculinity involved, and that men who identify as straight but still fuck men create a safe space to sexually express themselves without the stigma of challenging that masculinity, and that any question as to why that man may marry a woman even if he fucks men doesn't get asked. Dylan brings up that many bi woman in monogamous relationships get the same challenge, and they get questions as to why they "even bother" identifying as bisexual if they're marrying a man, because they'll never get to do anything about their attraction to women. Dr. Liz mentions that bisexuals get misidentified sexually based on the genitals they're interacting with as opposed to their actual preferences.

Dylan asks about the pansexual label, and whether people identifying as pansexual get to skip some of the bisexual stigma or confusion... but gets that thought dismissed as most people outside of the queer community would just not understand what it is. He follows up with a questions about whether bisexual men are seen as, as dangerous as bisexual women are to "the husbands" of straight women in monogamous relationships and... yes. Mike, as a queer man, has had his male friends told by their female partners not to hang out with them or has had his male friends' sexuality questions because of their desire to be friends with him.

Cooper mentions that whenever you present an alternative to traditional heteronormative nonmonogamy to people who actively try not to look into and not think about it, that anyone with predispositions to something other than traditional heteronormative may show interest and that's dangerous.

Dylan compares it to Doctor Who weeping angels and... pretty much stuns everyone into silence, and into a little bit of weeping.

After a break, Dr. Liz discusses ideas to help with bi erasure, whether thinking about the bi celebrities you know (and with say, Anna Paquin being bi but being identified as straight because she's married to a man), and that when you meet someone you really only have one datapoint, and to stay open.

We talk about attraction, and how you don't necessarily need to identify the way your attraction takes you, because it's ok to explore fantasy, explore the juiciness of, and even still decide to act it out without identifying as your attraction.

Fantasy doesn't have to be the same as reality. And your fantasies do not define your sexuality in practice https://t.co/y1WvtgZtx1

— Liz Powell, Psy.D (@sexpospsych) October 26, 2016

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell

Jaksot(431)

Podcast Gangbang in Paradise! (feat. By the Bi and The Bedhoppers)

Podcast Gangbang in Paradise! (feat. By the Bi and The Bedhoppers)

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan, Ophelia, and Cooper arrive early to the gorgeous ocean-side live podcast venue. They host Mr and Mrs H, the Bedhoppers, and Angela and Bradford of the By the Bi podcast for paradise-fueled, freeform, live podcast foreplay. As the gazebo starts to fill with Swingsetters, this large and motley crew discuss the mundane and outlandish with ocean waves in the background. Pull up a seat and join the chaos!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Ephixa & Heartful – Sundance

9 Joulu 201937min

Dispatches from Desire (Re-Issue)

Dispatches from Desire (Re-Issue)

Dylan, Tonia, Ryan the Prof, and Ginger fall into a few stolen moments on the eighth annual Swingset Takes Desire trip. With the sounds of the ocean and the hot tub in the background, they each take turns waxing philosophical about whatever topic seems to float through their paradise-addled minds. Not quite a bad cast, but close enough to earn the coveted Swingset chaos label. Kick back for a dose of dispatches from Desire.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Conro – Take Me There Outro Music: Notaker – Wake Up, You're Dreaming

22 Marras 201943min

Premature Desirejaculation

Premature Desirejaculation

Join Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan (aka Prof), and the Swinger Doc as they storytell and anticipate the eighth Swingset Takes Desire trip. This annual bacchanal brings with it the excitement of anticipation (read: foreplay) and the exhilaration of dreams come true. As reminiscences morph into future possibilities, listen in as desires are laid bare. And really the desires laid bare are the best desires, wouldn't you say?   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Julian Calor – Dream Odyssey Outro Music: CloudNone – Midnight Underground

29 Loka 201954min

Keeping the Sexy in Risk Aware Sex

Keeping the Sexy in Risk Aware Sex

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, and Ryan (aka Prof) are excited to invite the Swinger Doc back onto the Swingset. As the Swinger Doc says, "Be safe but be sexy!" Stewarding your sexual health and deciding for yourself what risk aware means for you are facets of living in the consensually non-monogamous world. The crew discusses all manner of risk aware sex practices, resisting STI stigma, and helpful communication strategies to keep the sexy in risk aware sex. The crew references the recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report as referenced by CNN. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Throttle 7 – Where u Are Interstitial and Outro Music: Tokyo Machine – TURBO

26 Loka 201955min

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part Two), Live at #Naughty2019

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part Two), Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan present live in front of an audience at Naughty in N'awlins for part two of their panel, Sustaining Open Relationships through Life's Challenges. Not your typical swinger convention topic, the trio share their heartfelt stories about loss, health and medical trauma, and facing death. It's not often on the Swingset that the crew shares about such heavy and activating topics, so choose wisely when you cue up this episode, Swingsetters. Yet the vulnerability, rawness, and emotion are all a part of this life and therefore a part of open relationships. Listen as Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan share their perspectives and strategies for coping, getting your mojo back, and even thriving while healing and integrating traumatic life experiences. We mentioned Andrew Gurza during the panel. You can find his work, both the Disability After Dark podcast and his work as a Disability Awareness Consultant at AndrewGurza.com, and you can find him twitter @theandrewgurza. If you run events than you should contact Andrew to learn how to offer accommodations for all your event attendees. NOPE Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Interstitial Music: CloudNone & Paul Aiden – Anonymous Outro Music: DESERT STAR – Edge of the World Our Triad Review segment includes music by ローマンRoman titled: L O V E, off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

13 Loka 201947min

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part One), Live at #Naughty2019

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part One), Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan present live in front of an audience at Naughty in N'awlins. Not your typical swinger convention topic, the trio share their heartfelt stories about loss, health and medical trauma, and facing death. It's not often on the Swingset that the crew shares about such heavy and activating topics, so choose wisely when you cue up this episode, Swingsetters. Yet the vulnerability, rawness, and emotion are all a part of this life and therefore a part of open relationships. Listen as Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan share their perspectives and strategies for coping, getting your mojo back, and even thriving while healing and integrating traumatic life experiences. We mentioned Andrew Gurza during the panel. You can find his work, both the Disability After Dark podcast and his work as a Disability Awareness Consultant at AndrewGurza.com, and you can find him twitter @theandrewgurza. If you run events than you should contact Andrew to learn how to offer accommodations for all your event attendees. Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Direct & Matt Van – Cold Ground Our Triad Review segment includes music by ローマンRoman titled: L O V E, off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Loka 201959min

Reviews and Riffin'

Reviews and Riffin'

Dylan and Ginger hang out with the Swingset patrons for a live podcast of reviews, listener questions, and some ridiculousness. Ryan The Professor makes his way into this episode like a wrecking ball to share his thoughts. From solo polyamorous parenting to fluid-bonding, these three climb up on the Swingset to riff. And riff they do. *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Tails & Juelz – Cobra Voicemail Music: Summer Was Fun – Pick Up The Phone Review Music: Haywyre – Sculpted

20 Syys 20191h 4min

Pushing Your Edge - Personal Growth Through Sexual Adventure, Live at #Naughty2019

Pushing Your Edge - Personal Growth Through Sexual Adventure, Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Cooper presented in front of a live audience at Naughty in N'awlins 2019 about how sexual adventure impacts one's personal growth. Sharing stories, lessons they've learned, and strategies they've employed during their sexual adventuring, the Swingset crew invites you to explore your own personal growth. Pushing your edge and being curious about yourself while sexing can be another facet of the experience along with all the pleasure and fun! *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Interstitial Music: Au5 Feat. Danyka Nadeau – Eden Interstitial Music: Bossfight – No Sleep Outro Music: Disero feat. Joshua Smith – Like That – 02 Like That (Acoustic)

11 Syys 20191h 27min

Suosittua kategoriassa Terveys ja hyvinvointi

unicast
tiedenaiset-podcast
voi-hyvin-meditaatiot-2
paaasia-podcast
psykopodiaa-podcast
meditaatiot-suomeksi
vakeva-elama-viisaampi-mieli-vahvempi-keho
junnut-pelissa
katilon-kahvitunti
fitnessvastaanotto
rss-uplevel-by-sonja-hannus
selvin-pain
rss-duodecim-lehti
puhu-muru
terapiassa
paritellen
rss-vapaudu-voimaasi
fitnesskulmapodcast
rss-mighty-finland-podcast
selviytyjat-tarinoita-elamasta