SS 271: Gang Bang The Mailbag 31

SS 271: Gang Bang The Mailbag 31

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X (plus 1)! We're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. As usual, answers have not been edited for content or clarity! If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message, or email us at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag!

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

Tonight we answer the following written questions:

My road into non-monogamy has been a twisted and challenging path. My 13-year marriage ended last year partly because of an incompatibility around the potential for opening our marriage.

When I started dating I tried to be very open with women about my desire for non-monogamy and live a polyamourous life that includes swinging and sometimes a little kink and BDSM. Through dating apps like Tinder I have met many wonderful women and had some great relationships develop. I have tremendously transparent conversations with these women. Most run for the hills after to non-monogamy talk, some are intrigued and go along with it for a while, but in the end these relationships mostly follow the same pattern. The woman is okay with other partners in the beginning, but as time passes she always has a difficult time with the non-monogamy and it ends or goes to the friend zone. Otherwise the woman wants a "don't ask don't tell" or "friends with benefits" approach, which to me is just single dating rather than ethical non monogamy. It is impossible to have intimacy without transparency.

Where does one go to find women who are already there in the poly/swinger community who are looking for other poly/swing single partners? Are there any better strategies for finding women more directly who already share these values?

Aaron from Canada

My brief backstory: 50ish male, married for twenty-something years. I have always struggled with attraction, crushes, and even feelings for, and from, others. Monogamy isn't actually what I want, and, in the spirit of a good mid-life crisis, I'm not getting any younger.

Being aware of the trauma that this might cause my wife, I have introduced the topic gently and slowly. She has reacted... well, it's hard to say. There has been no screaming and crying, which I guess is a good sign. The best description of her reaction is "ninja-level avoidant", as she deflects my every attempt to explore this in depth.

An example: after a recent talk she said "you've given me a lot to think about".

I realise what I want most is to have the relationship communication skills that are necessary to be non-monogamous in the first place. To have the openness that I hear others describe in their relationships. It's not even principally about the swinging anymore. I have communication envy!

So how do I learn to communicate like a non-monogamous person? And how do I teach someone else to do this? Is it possible?

My husband I have been in the swing lifestyle since we first started dating 6 years ago. Along the way, I have developed more romantic feelings for some of our partners, while things remain mainly about friendship and sex for my husband. I've tried to hide my feelings which has resulted in a lot of hurt. We are trying to figure out how to move forward when I feel more poly and he still feels more like a swinger and isn't interested in developing romantic relationships. I'm having trouble finding resources that talk about how to successfully move between the two.

Kara

Today I found out, in a convoluted way, that a long-term male partner of mine sexually assaulted someone. I don't know the any details. I don't know when it happened, or what happened afterwards. I do know that women don't lie about sexual assault. I also learned two others say they witnessed him pushing boundaries or putting women in uncomfortable situations , and that he's seen as a "missing stair" in some subsets of our local kink community.

This is someone I love. Someone I've only ever had positive, affirming, respectful experiences with. Someone I trusted with my life (and I'm an angry, suspicious, mostly-lesbian hardcore feminist killjoy who rarely trusts anyone).

What should I do?

Oh, and just to make things even more complicated, this partner's live-in partner is also my partner. We're a triad. Do I tell her? How?

In answering this question, Dylan lamented not reading the question before he read it as he wanted to have a more prepared answer. Dr. Liz on the other hand was able to respond quickly and effectively on ways to address members of the community to who have violated boundaries and support people who have had their boundaries violated, and how to both repair and grow the larger community after. Visit a compilation of resources Dr. Liz put together here.

We took a little time at the end of the episode for business. Dr. Liz put out a new video on Youtube titled "What's the 'Friend Zone' Anyway?"

Mike Joseph has been speaking lately on behalf of the Jed Foundation, a NYC based organization empowering teens and young adults with the skills and support to grow into healthy thriving adults. Visit them at www.jedfoundation.org.

You can also always find Mike Joseph at his podcast the Jheri Curl Chronicles Radio Show at www.popblerd.com.

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's intro music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"!

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

Jaksot(431)

SS 396: ...what sets us apart, brings us together. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 1

SS 396: ...what sets us apart, brings us together. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 1

Swingset is a place, at least that's how we think of it today. We created the Swingset Community for the tenth time at Desire Resort in Cancun, QR, MX, and gathered our attendees to listen to Keeley, Cooper, Ginger, Tonia, Ryan AKA The Professor, and Dylan get together and talk about the trip up until Friday and many… many other things. Set and Setting. The Tepid Tub! Indiana Cooper? Co-Creation. Indomnitable Joy. Consent Violation. Rupture Repair. Community Support Gloryholes. We talk about it all, in part one.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Intro Music: Sullivan King & Ray Volpe – The Dead March Outro Music: zensei ゼンセー – spadina 3am

22 Marras 202242min

SS 395: The Trouble with Tribbing, a Sexy Story Share

SS 395: The Trouble with Tribbing, a Sexy Story Share

Ginger, The Professor, Mike Joseph, Tonia, and Dylan get together for a Friday Night Delights recorded on June 25th to share some sexy stories and talk about growing relationships and sharing managing multiple identities, Also… big gong energy and tribbing.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Trans children and families are under attack in Texas right now. If you're able, consider donating to:

1 Marras 20221h 2min

SS 394: Camp Swingset Live! - At the Half-Baked Homestead

SS 394: Camp Swingset Live! - At the Half-Baked Homestead

Tonia and Dylan sat down at the Half-Baked Homestead, lovingly put together by Rapunzel, Colin, and Oengus, to talk about what Swingset gatherings mean (if anything) and what we try to do when we put temporary community together. Talk touches on current events – the attack on trans familities rights to exist, a post roe v. wade world, and community relations at their fracture points come up prominently… but talk about accepting and appreciating joy without apologizing for it, and the pleasure of being together, takes over… with commentary from a couple of dogs fighting over a stick. it's Camp Swingset, Live!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).      Trans children and families are under attack in Texas right now. If you're able, consider donating to:           Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: helloworld – see str8

1 Elo 20221h 1min

SS 393: Swingset Takes Desire 2021 LIVE in Cancún!

SS 393: Swingset Takes Desire 2021 LIVE in Cancún!

17 Maalis 20221h 29min

SS 392: Personal Stories on Changing Intimacy Over the Last Two Years - A Friday Night Delights Conversation with Catherine

SS 392: Personal Stories on Changing Intimacy Over the Last Two Years - A Friday Night Delights Conversation with Catherine

We continue the conversation from SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy, by sliding into how intimacy has changed over the last couple of years. Dylan, Ryan, and Ginger continues to welcome Catherine of Expansive Connection while Tonia joins in on the fun! Also… more love for Gestalt therapy!     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Trans children and families are under attack in Texas right now. If you're able, consider donating to:           Intro and Outro Music: Stendahl – Austrumi (Extended Mix)

2 Maalis 202248min

SS 391: The Desire Mid-Week Check-In, featuring Co-Hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley!

SS 391: The Desire Mid-Week Check-In, featuring Co-Hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley!

We made it to Desire in 2021 and decided to take the temperature of the room… the very, very hot room that we couldn't turn the air conditioning on in because it would have ruined the recording environment. Cooper, Dylan, and Tonia along with guest co-hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley get together and check in with each other, and the attendees, and see what being in Desire in these trying times means to them.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro & Outro Music: Chime – Rainbow Rave Parade

1 Maalis 202258min

SS 390: "Things can be messy, but things don't have to be toxic."

SS 390: "Things can be messy, but things don't have to be toxic."

With this episode, we emerge from our reduced pandemic release schedule where our focus was on virtual Swingset community events to connect and sustain us through challenging times, and refocus on the podcast. We invited Eve, Marissa, Celeste, Rose, and Melanie with an intimate conversation about navigating toxic relationships. We're grateful for these five courageous humans for sharing their stories and wisdom so that we can learn from their experiences. -Ginger Bentham -Dylan Thomas Listeners can learn more at itrippedonthepolystair.com. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro Music: Throttle feat. NICOLOSI – Heroes (Skies Remix)

6 Heinä 20211h 18min

SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality

SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality

Join Dylan, Ryan aka Prof, and Ginger in a nerdy discussion about sexuality data and human behavior. Simone and Malcolm Collins, the authors of The Pragmatist's Guide series, take to the Swingset to talk all manner of intriguing and confounding sexiness. Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro Music: Duumu and Meggie York – Never Had Interstitial Music: Nitro fun – System Failure Our Sportsheets Advertisements featured music from Poolhouse Ltd from their album: NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE! HOME COMPUTING – HOTLINE Internet Archive – O N L I N E pacintosh mlus – c r y s t a l p e p s i These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Maalis 20211h 30min

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