SS 271: Gang Bang The Mailbag 31

SS 271: Gang Bang The Mailbag 31

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X (plus 1)! We're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. As usual, answers have not been edited for content or clarity! If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message, or email us at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag!

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

Tonight we answer the following written questions:

My road into non-monogamy has been a twisted and challenging path. My 13-year marriage ended last year partly because of an incompatibility around the potential for opening our marriage.

When I started dating I tried to be very open with women about my desire for non-monogamy and live a polyamourous life that includes swinging and sometimes a little kink and BDSM. Through dating apps like Tinder I have met many wonderful women and had some great relationships develop. I have tremendously transparent conversations with these women. Most run for the hills after to non-monogamy talk, some are intrigued and go along with it for a while, but in the end these relationships mostly follow the same pattern. The woman is okay with other partners in the beginning, but as time passes she always has a difficult time with the non-monogamy and it ends or goes to the friend zone. Otherwise the woman wants a "don't ask don't tell" or "friends with benefits" approach, which to me is just single dating rather than ethical non monogamy. It is impossible to have intimacy without transparency.

Where does one go to find women who are already there in the poly/swinger community who are looking for other poly/swing single partners? Are there any better strategies for finding women more directly who already share these values?

Aaron from Canada

My brief backstory: 50ish male, married for twenty-something years. I have always struggled with attraction, crushes, and even feelings for, and from, others. Monogamy isn't actually what I want, and, in the spirit of a good mid-life crisis, I'm not getting any younger.

Being aware of the trauma that this might cause my wife, I have introduced the topic gently and slowly. She has reacted... well, it's hard to say. There has been no screaming and crying, which I guess is a good sign. The best description of her reaction is "ninja-level avoidant", as she deflects my every attempt to explore this in depth.

An example: after a recent talk she said "you've given me a lot to think about".

I realise what I want most is to have the relationship communication skills that are necessary to be non-monogamous in the first place. To have the openness that I hear others describe in their relationships. It's not even principally about the swinging anymore. I have communication envy!

So how do I learn to communicate like a non-monogamous person? And how do I teach someone else to do this? Is it possible?

My husband I have been in the swing lifestyle since we first started dating 6 years ago. Along the way, I have developed more romantic feelings for some of our partners, while things remain mainly about friendship and sex for my husband. I've tried to hide my feelings which has resulted in a lot of hurt. We are trying to figure out how to move forward when I feel more poly and he still feels more like a swinger and isn't interested in developing romantic relationships. I'm having trouble finding resources that talk about how to successfully move between the two.

Kara

Today I found out, in a convoluted way, that a long-term male partner of mine sexually assaulted someone. I don't know the any details. I don't know when it happened, or what happened afterwards. I do know that women don't lie about sexual assault. I also learned two others say they witnessed him pushing boundaries or putting women in uncomfortable situations , and that he's seen as a "missing stair" in some subsets of our local kink community.

This is someone I love. Someone I've only ever had positive, affirming, respectful experiences with. Someone I trusted with my life (and I'm an angry, suspicious, mostly-lesbian hardcore feminist killjoy who rarely trusts anyone).

What should I do?

Oh, and just to make things even more complicated, this partner's live-in partner is also my partner. We're a triad. Do I tell her? How?

In answering this question, Dylan lamented not reading the question before he read it as he wanted to have a more prepared answer. Dr. Liz on the other hand was able to respond quickly and effectively on ways to address members of the community to who have violated boundaries and support people who have had their boundaries violated, and how to both repair and grow the larger community after. Visit a compilation of resources Dr. Liz put together here.

We took a little time at the end of the episode for business. Dr. Liz put out a new video on Youtube titled "What's the 'Friend Zone' Anyway?"

Mike Joseph has been speaking lately on behalf of the Jed Foundation, a NYC based organization empowering teens and young adults with the skills and support to grow into healthy thriving adults. Visit them at www.jedfoundation.org.

You can also always find Mike Joseph at his podcast the Jheri Curl Chronicles Radio Show at www.popblerd.com.

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's intro music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"!

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

Jaksot(431)

An Edible Sized Multiorgasmic Nonejaculatory Minisode – Friday Night Delights – 2020-04-10 (Part 2)

An Edible Sized Multiorgasmic Nonejaculatory Minisode – Friday Night Delights – 2020-04-10 (Part 2)

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and   If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro and Outro Music: Riot – Take That (Bonus Track)

1 Kesä 202019min

A Sensual Snowball Behind My Back – Friday Night Delights 2020-04-10 (Part One)

A Sensual Snowball Behind My Back – Friday Night Delights 2020-04-10 (Part One)

Another night in April, another Friday Night Delights! Dylan, Ginger, and The Professor get together and talk butt stuff, pins in clits, drinks and edibles, and somehow find ways to come to profound understandings of each other in the current context of the world. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study! Intro and Outro Music: Ellis feat. Maribelle – Don't Say Ur Sorry Interstitial Music: CloudNone & Direct – Mojito Interstitial Music: Direct – Left Behind

28 Touko 20201h 3min

The Hangover - The Krazy Winter Nights Steakhouse Postshow

The Hangover - The Krazy Winter Nights Steakhouse Postshow

Dylan, Cooper, Ryan, and Ginger found their way out into the frozen landscape of Omaha in January in search of meat, tantalizing steaks that is. During this Swingset field trip during Krazy Winter Nights, the foursome relaxes into a feast paired with cocktails and delicious conversation. Recording on location at the steak house means just like there is always a swing available on the Swingset, there is a seat for you at the table. Cheers! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Pre-roll Music: Cloudnone – Wish Intro and Outro Music: Gareth Emery feat. Kovic – Somebody

23 Touko 20201h 26min

Don't Invest in the Rest, Invest in... the Sex. Also Malört. - Friday Night Delights – 2020-04-03, Part 3

Don't Invest in the Rest, Invest in... the Sex. Also Malört. - Friday Night Delights – 2020-04-03, Part 3

Our April 3rd Friday Night Delights with the Swingset has proven quite fertile. Mr. and Mrs. H (@BedHoppersUK) sign off after fucking while podcasting while Tonia (@tonia_swingset) signs on. Dylan (@DylantheThomas / @DylantheThomas@Swingset.Social), Lunabelle (@Ninjasexology) and Bradford, Angela, and Ian the Gentlemen (@BytheBiPodcast) reminisce about good times at Desire 2019 (and a desire for a 2020), the purity of Kentucky straight(?) bourbon, event organizing and people who run and produce conferences… it's a wild end to a wild night. "We've had a lot of drinks" – Mr. H "Shocker" – Bradford "It's like two in the morning for us, we're doing well! We did a full interview with a couple we want to fuck and we drank a lot of drinks and we can't see anybody because of the quarantine." – Mr. and Mrs. H "Yeah that sucks". – Ian the Gentlemen "I don't have a dad bod, I have a father figure." – Bradford, on putting on a little while in quarantine "How much will you pay me to not answer that?" – Lunabelle, to her children *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Sabai and Komode – Save You Outro Music: Conro – Thrill of It

2 Touko 20201h 15min

SS 377: Shaving with Straight Razors and Podcasting HARDER, Friday Night Delights – 2020-04-03, Part 2

SS 377: Shaving with Straight Razors and Podcasting HARDER, Friday Night Delights – 2020-04-03, Part 2

Our April 3rd Friday Night Lights with the Swingset episode continues featuring Dylan Thomas, Mr. and Mrs. H (The Bedhoppers), Angela, Bradford and Ian (By the Bi), and Lunabelle. Out of this group of seven, one and a half adults appear. "GO ON, PODCAST HARDER" – Mr. H "It's my goal to get married couples fighting." – Dylan Thomas "I shave my balls every week." – Mr. H "With a straight razor!" – Bradford "Actually I like to use a bi razor." – Ian, The Gentlemen "I thought bi erasure was bad! 🙁 " – Mr. H *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Conro – The Small Things Outro Music: FLWR – Bust It Out

30 Huhti 202047min

The British Commonwealth Bidet Invasion - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-03

The British Commonwealth Bidet Invasion - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-03

Today's episode was recorded live in front of a Patron supporter live audience! As part of our Friday Night Delights series, Mister and Mrs H, Angela, Bradford, and Ian The Gentlemen joined Dylan for an accidental pre-show for our regularly scheduled Friday Night Delights episode on April 3rd, 2020. It's possible we've hit peak anus, Enjoy!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Rogue – Move Me  Outro Music: Bad Computer – Riddle

24 Huhti 202057min

Connection and Love During Unprecedented Times - Friday Night Delights with the Swingset

Connection and Love During Unprecedented Times - Friday Night Delights with the Swingset

Ginger Bentham and Dylan Thomas get together with Swingset patrons to connect about connection, both with the people around us and in our communities. In uncertain times, we're making changes to keep ourselves and others safe from COVID-19 while still finding ways to be human to each other… and kind to ourselves. They also get high and discuss the inflation in the dick and fart joke economy.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Koven – Your Pain

1 Huhti 20201h 18min

Unf_ck Your Polyamory with Dr. Liz and Kevin Patterson

Unf_ck Your Polyamory with Dr. Liz and Kevin Patterson

Dylan and Ginger host Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell to discuss their new educational project: Unf_ck Your Polyamory. Whether it is relating to metamours, balancing time with partners, or communication, communication, communication, sustaining fulfilling polyamorous relationships requires a commitment to personal growth. Kevin and Dr. Liz are here to help!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Protostar feat. Emma McGann – Overdrive

29 Maalis 20201h

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