SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

MA 050: 5 Tactics to Tame Jealousy - Multiamory

MA 050: 5 Tactics to Tame Jealousy - Multiamory

Jealousy pops up everywhere in our lives -- at work, at home, and in romantic relationships. It can range from slight twinges to full-blown outbursts. No one likes feeling jealous, but it can be hard to avoid when you're in an alternative relationship. The Multiamory crew has gotten intimately acquainted with jealousy many times, and in this episode we share with you five tactics for turning your jealousy dragon into a cute little shoulder lizard. (That's a thing, right?) More great info on breaking negative or jealous thought patterns here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201512/what-do-when-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-it Check out our sponsor, AdamAndEve.com, and use code MULTI at checkout to get 10 free gifts and support our show. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, tweet to us @multiamory, check out our facebook page, or visit our website multiamory.com We love to hear from our listeners and we reply individually to every message.

18 Touko 201638min

SS 251: Gang Bang The Mailbag 27 - Bi Invisibility, Swinging From Infidelity, & The OPP

SS 251: Gang Bang The Mailbag 27 - Bi Invisibility, Swinging From Infidelity, & The OPP

We're scaling back a little at The Swingset to allow ourselves to take some needed rest. This has caused Dylan to go off to The Dakotas to hunt mastodon. Meanwhile, Ginger and Cooper hold down the fort, debating whether or not two people can in fact gang bang a mailbag. Tonight we answer questions about bisexual exploration as men and women, bi invisibility, the one penis policy, what happens when you can't stand a partner's playmate, non-monogamy from infidelity, and how to find that great parallel poly couple. What do you think Dylan is off doing on his hiatus? Tweet at us with hashtag #SSHiatus to let us know, the winner will get an awesome toy from SheVibe!

11 Touko 20161h 10min

SS 250: Pegging Experience with Ruby Ryder

SS 250: Pegging Experience with Ruby Ryder

"Pegging Enthusiast" isn't just Cooper's motto... it's his mission statement. One of the most specific sex acts, named in a contest by Dan Savage's Savage Love Readers, pegging is when a woman wearing a strap-on fucks a man in the ass. We've talked about it off and on over the years, always couched in the broader topic of anal play, but tonight we're going to give it its due. There's only one person who can be called master on this subject. The progenitor of the Pegging Paradise podcast, Ruby Ryder is here to talk about it with us. We mentioned we preferred the following equipment while discussing pegging: Tantus Hoss Dildo Fuze Harmony Black Silicone Dildo SpareParts Deuce Male Harness SpareParts Joque Harness SpareParts Sasha Lingerie Harness - Midnight Black inJoyUs Strapless System Aslan Leather Minx Asian Leather Jaguar Ruby Ryder gave a Pegging 101 class for Not Safe with Nikki Glaser. Ruby also mentioned that Midori makes a mean scarf harness, here's a (NSFW) infographic on how to do it yourself! Ruby wrote an article for Tantus about the Truth about Strapless Strap-Ons. The Swinger Doc discussed a listener question taking viagra as a woman for orgasm assistance! You can send him your questions on twitter @TheSwingerDoc or call 573-55-SWING, that's 573-55-9464. Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, Mr. Pent on Twitter @mr_pent, and Kat on Twitter @WetCoastKat. Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Tonight's episode featured the following music: Hush - Tentakel Slips & Slurs x Mihka! - WiFi Tears Draper - With You (feat. Alby Hobbs) Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Chris Pent Kat Stark

4 Touko 20161h 13min

SS 249: Having Gang Bangs (Real Ones, Not Mailbags)

SS 249: Having Gang Bangs (Real Ones, Not Mailbags)

We've talked of group sex and orgies often, the logistics of sex and play parties, of mfm threesomes, and somehow danced around the actual genesis for our mailbag titles. It so happens that we know Jennifer, a frequent gang bang center of attention, and co planning conspirator, so we discuss the many ins and outs of gang bangs tonight! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, Mr. Pent on Twitter @mr_pent, and Kat on Twitter @WetCoastCat. Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Tonight's episode featured the following music: PYLOT - The Place I Once Knew Melano - Traveller Slips & Slurs x Mihka! - WiFi Tears Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Chris Pent

29 Huhti 20161h 7min

SS 248: Swingset's Got the D

SS 248: Swingset's Got the D

Today's episode features me, Dylan, speaking with Daisy, Dawn Ardent, Damien, and Duncan as we chat about our community and how we enjoy those of us in the community...thoroughly, being closeted, and loss.   I mentioned we on the Swingset needed a break and it looks like we've gotten it. Soon you'll do away with the tyranny of Dylan Thomas and you'll once again have the comfortable and familiar tyranny of Cooper S. Beckett to look forward to. We're recording an episode on Pegging with the...always outstanding Ruby Ryder, and an episode on Gang Bangs with a friend of ours, Jennifer. Google has opened its Play Music application to Podcasts!   If you've been reticent to use a podcast catcher but have a google account and of device that welcomes google apps you can find Life on the Swingset (and our other Swingset family podcasts) by searching for us.   Our full take over of Desire Resort and Spa is 2/3 full so...while we're just under six months away from our trip on November 5th through 12th, 2016 there aren't a lot of spots left. Check out Lifeontheswingset.com/desire for information. We've also had to rebrand the trip. While the drunken motto I came up with at Desire in 2015 sounded wonderful, it also had the unfortunate consequence of being trademarked. My bad. As a result I suggest an alternate Tagline. Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.     The Swinger Doc is here to discuss a listener question about herpes! You can send him your questions on twitter @TheSwingerDoc or call 573-55-SWING, that's 573-55-9464.     We featured three tracks on today's podcast. Rezonate - Rebirth (feat. Ashley Apollodor) Project 46 - No One (feat. Matthew Steeper) Feint - Phosphor (feat. Miyoki)     Dylan Thomas

21 Huhti 20161h 38min

DP 003: Judaism, Technology, and Don't You Worry, Sey Hey  with Ya el - Don't Panic Podcast!

DP 003: Judaism, Technology, and Don't You Worry, Sey Hey with Ya el - Don't Panic Podcast!

Hi Swingset Fans!Dylan Theodore Thomas here, (yes we've decided my middle name is Theodore)Over the last six years, Life on the Swingset has grown into more than the sum of its parts. It's a podcast, it's a community, it's a podcasting network, it's a family,One of the best parts of being here and being with you all is introducing you to new members of the family.Shaina, known as @LoveNSausages on Twitter, is a monogamous, con brat, happily vanilla, sex positive explorer, and a frequent visitor on /r/TrollXChromosomes on Reddit! Magenta Prex, known as @geekymagenta on Twitter, is kinky, poly, passionate about public health sex educator and sex positive advocate, and is occasionally prone to swear words and laughter.Tune into their podcast each week to hear stories about love and sex from guests living their dreams in a diverse sampling of all the possibilities for consensual adult relationships. Join them while they geek out about displays of relationships in different media, including shows from diverse fandoms, board games, and video games, and as they tell you..."Don't Panic" There are so many ways to relate, don’t panic about it! Join swinger Magenta and inquisitive Shaina podcasting from bed on sex, love, and geekery. This week we interview Ya el. We discuss her journey into converting to Judaism and how it’s affected her love life. In addition, we learn her interesting past with Magenta, what it’s like to work in the tech field as a woman, and get into some heated discussion near the end. Bring your towel!

13 Huhti 20161h 8min

SS 247: Stress, Closets, and Intersections

SS 247: Stress, Closets, and Intersections

This isn't a regular episode. Dylan grabs the mic and takes over for a monologue on stress, thinking about being closeted, and intersectionality. In between all that Morgan tells us her origin story and tells how Swinging is her stress relief. You can read more about Mississippi's HB1523 on NPR, here. This really sums it up: "the Mississippi legislation protects only three beliefs or convictions: that marriage is between a man and a woman, that sex is "properly reserved to such a marriage," and that words like "male" and "female" are "objectively determined by anatomy and genetics at birth."   You can Choose Your Own Adventure with Ginger, Dylan, and Cooper during our first ever Resort Takeover! Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more! You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! We featured three tracks on today's episode. Direct - Scars (feat. Devin Santi) Direct - Parallax Puppet - Vagrant   Dylan Thomas

6 Huhti 201638min

SS 246: The One With The Lesbian Swingers

SS 246: The One With The Lesbian Swingers

Often our discussion of swinging travels down the traditional "norms" of the subculture, a couple, a man and woman, having sex with other couples. But we all know that any subculture is full of iteration after iteration of variance. Tonight we're going to talk about one of the oft overlooked swinging groups, lesbians. And as we're definitely not qualified to speak on the subject, we've brought two amazing women, Tiff & Rachel, hosts of the Sapphic Swingers podcast to have this discussion with us. You can find the Sapphic Swingers on twitter @sapphicswingers and their podcast at http://sapphicswingers.blogspot.com/ Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Tonight's episode featured Sadbot by PIXL, Warhead by Muzzy & Droptek, Waiting For You (feat. Joanna Jones) by Unlike Pluto

30 Maalis 20161h 9min

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