SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

Join Dylan, Ryan, and Ginger as they host Catherine of Expansive Connection. Catherine offers her perspective on relationship therapy and her Power of Witness experience. It can be a challenge for those in polyamorous, open, and multipartnered relationships to find qualified helping professionals who not just tolerate nontraditional relationships, but elevate and celebrate the strengths of those who opt in for creative relationships. The crew talks therapy, truth-telling, and they share personal stories of their own adventures in love and sex. Website: https://www.expansiveconnection.com/lotss Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/expansive.connection.coaching/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/expanconnect  Power of Witness Sign Up (direct link): https://www.nurturingtheconnection.com/a/30219/5mkaT3y8   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: No Rest – Vicetone Business Music: Matroda – Shut It Down

1 Helmi 20211h 17min

SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson join Ginger Bentham, Ryan Bentham, and Dylan Thomas, to discuss consent. They talk practicing consent in every day life. "Consent has to exist in our every day lives and not just be a concept in the legal system." The concept of euretic consent, a term Shawn Coleman has offered the world, is a concept "literally made for this time, this experience, this revolution that we're going through… that invites us to reevaluate our boundaries and our relationships to ourselves." *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Shawn Coleman @OurTouchPoints Twitter | Our Touchpoints Website | Touchpoints: Cuddles and Community YouTube Kevin Patterson @PolyRoleModels Twitter | @PolyRoleModels Instagram | Poly Role Models Website Unf*ck Your Polyamory | For Hire: Operator Paperback | For Hire: Audition Paperback Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Sabai & Hoang feat. Claire Ridgely – Million Days

23 Marras 20201h 8min

SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)

SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)

Tonia, Dylan, Ryan the Prof, and Ginger unwind with the Swingsetters after a busy workweek to delight in the Delights on a Friday night for an eclectic array of conversations. Ginger gets on a roll sharing about her double mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction, and then doubles (heh) down to worship Betty Fucking Dodson and Bodysex.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!   We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information.   Intro Music: Direct & Park Avenue – I'll Go Interstitial & Outro Music: Notaker – The Longest Night

9 Marras 20201h 10min

The Shame of Desire, the Consideration of Risk – Friday Night Delights

The Shame of Desire, the Consideration of Risk – Friday Night Delights

Ginger, Tonia, Ryan aka Prof, and Dylan get together for a night of Friday Night Drinking and Delights and accidentally have a deep conversation about desire, shame, selfishness, risk-aware relative to sex and COVID-19, exposure networks and the complication of the return of feelings of jealousy and selfishness, but not before engaging in discussion on: rgb lighting… from the inside jalapenos, easy-tear vinyl gloves, and nitrile gloves period euphemisms uv sterilization… of the vagina bush / pubic hair christmas lights in the bush bush light busch light #ad #sponsored a sex party with a bush light dress code sponsored by busch light #ad #sponsored letterkenny puck bunnies men who grow Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today! We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information. Intro, Interstitial, and Closing Music: SMLE & Just a Gent – Revival Episode Introduction Music- "Studio" Steve Wallace – Mega Man 2 – Level Select This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Syys 202056min

A is for Adequate – Friday Night Delights with Cooper, Bradford, and Angela – 2020-06-26

A is for Adequate – Friday Night Delights with Cooper, Bradford, and Angela – 2020-06-26

Shame kinks. Pubic hair. Quarantine Partners. Australia. We're covering all our bases today with Ginger Bentham, Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, The Professor, and Angela and Bradford from the By the Bi podcast!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!   We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information.   Podcast Announcements Intro Music: Xilent – Human Error Cold Open Music: Vicetone feat. BullySongs – I Feel Human Intro and Outro Music: Duumu – Breathe Again Interstitial Music: Rameses B – Thinking About You

21 Elo 20201h 37min

Black and Poly in These Times

Black and Poly in These Times

Ruby Johnson LCSW takes over Life on the Swingset and brings Dr. Justin Clardy, Thomas of wearibukun.com and Vision By Thomas,  Charita Marie, and Jhen from the Monogamish Podcast to offer their experiences being black and polyamorous in the midst of covid and the uprising.   You can find Ruby Johnson LCSW on Twitter and Instagram and information about Poly Dallas Millenium on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and at polydallasmillenium.com You can find Dr. Justin Clardy on Twitter, Instagram, and as @pagesla on Instagram. You can find Jhen on Twitter, Instagram, and find the Monogamish Podcast at monogamishpod.com and on Twitter and Instagram. You can find Charita Marie on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and find AcrylicArtTherapy on Instagram. You can also find Out and Equal's 2020 Workplace Summit at outandequal.org/2020-workplace-summit You can find Thomas and Wear Ibukun at wearibukun.com and on Instagram     If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance     Cold Open and Interstitial Music: Candyland & Ricci – Touch Me Intro Music: Fractal – Mountain Hunter Outro Music: Candyland & Shoffy – Faces   Candyland Instagram – Facebook – Soundcloud – Twitter Fractal Twitter – Soundcloud – YouTube – Facebook

24 Heinä 20201h 11min

My Damn Gangbang Got Cancelled By COVID - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-17

My Damn Gangbang Got Cancelled By COVID - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-17

It's clear from Life on the Swingset reviews that the first episode people listen to greatly shape opinions about the show. If this is your first, getting angry over gangbangs being cancelled, talking about Con Air (the movie) and hair dye is par for the course. Enjoy listening to Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Ryan Bentham, and Lunabelle on another edition of Friday Night Delights. The entry point is key.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us... we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance

24 Kesä 20201h 19min

COVID-19 and STI Stigma, with Ella Dawson - Friday Night Delights - 2020-05-22

COVID-19 and STI Stigma, with Ella Dawson - Friday Night Delights - 2020-05-22

Ella Dawson joins Ginger, the Professor, and Dylan to discuss reactions to people with / without COVID-19, and how it may affect public discussion surrounding STIs and stigma surrounding people living with STIs. Ella Dawson gave a TEDx Talk about how STIs aren't a consequence, they're inevitable.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!     Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and   If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Conro – The Small THings

4 Kesä 20201h 7min

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