Gangbang the Mailbag 39 with Bex Caputo and Kevin Patterson

It's the New Year, 2017, and for much of our country that means halfhearted resolutions. I'm going to change. I'm going to improve. These resolutions come about because of the arbitrary timeline that defines last year and this year. We are unfinished, and as such, we can strive to always improve. We discuss working on ourselves and becoming better, in sex, in relationships, and in life with Cooper, Dylan, Dr. Liz, Mike Joseph, and Dirty Lola. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: Snavs - Time Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Outro Music: Rameses B - We Love Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph Dirty Lola

18 Tammi 20171h 17min

We've been overdue for for a rapprochement with one of our favorite past topics: Privacy and Security in Swinging & Polyamory.The team of Mister Pent and Dylan Thomas put together information about securing yourself on the internet that a panel also including Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, and Cooper S. Beckett could discuss, digest, and put into action. In the age of our ability to connect anywhere and anytime, share information easily, and be as open as we want to be, it's important we arm ourselves with the knowledge necessary to make good decisions about what we put online and the information required to raise our level of computer and internet security. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast and feel free to ask questions of @MisterPent and @DylanTheThomas! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. While we are definitely going to put together ebook / guide on cybersecurity for perverts, we wanted to list some of the resources we discussed during the podcast here: On Two-Factor Authentication When enabled, two-factor authentication (or 2FA) can surface as a "we don't recognize this device" message sent to an email address or a mobile phone number, or it can refer to an installed mobile app or a physical security token. You can find a list of websites that support 2FA here: https://twofactorauth.org/ In the meantime if you have a Google account, or have logins on sites like Dropbox, Lastpass, or Microsoft, go grab the Google Authenticator app. If you're a steam gamer, grab the Steam app and enable Steam Guard. On Passwords Securityinabox.org has a lot of great contnet with tools and tactics for digital security, they have a particularly good guide on creating, maintaining, remembering, and recording secure passwords, including with a password manager. XKCD's comic on Password Security that we love: On Password Managers and Sharing Passwords: Mister Pent, Cooper S. Beckett, and Dylan Thomas use Lastpass. Lastpass allows you to have a single set of passwords securely accessible over multiple devices and over the web, while setting up two factor authentication to limit access. It includes web browser extensions to automatically log you into sites and an Android app that does the same, depending on desired level of ease of use. It also allows you to share sets of passwords secureiy and simply with other people. Dylan Thomas also uses mSecure synchronized to a Dropbox account. mSecure has mobile and computer apps. It's not as nice or feature filled as Lastpass, but it's a little extra hassle for a lot of extra security for the most sensitive of passwords. If you need to share a temporary password with someone you can use OneTimeSecret. You create an a self-destructing link that disappears once it's accessed or once a certain amount of time passes. On using VPNs: You can't always trust the access to the internet you have, whether it's because you're in an airport on free airport wireless or a coffee shop or because you're travelling. Sometimes you may just want to tune into BBC Radio 5 using their iPlayer and you happen to not live in the Commonwealth. VPNs can keep your traffic secure when you can't trust your connection, with the added benefit of giving you choice on what country your traffic exits so you can use region specific resources. Dylan Thomas uses BlackVPN. Mister Pent and Cooper S. Beckett use Private Internet Access. Both can support simultaneous connections to cover multiple devices at once, and both allow multiple country exit points It has guides for usage on Windows, OS X, Linux, Android and iOS. On Encrypting your Devices using Passwords or Biometric Authentication: If you don't use a password, pin code, or thumbprint on your mobile devices, set one up! Modern Android and iOS based phones will automatically encrypt your device or give you the option to once you've set a password. While a six digit pin code or better is best, anything is better than nothing. Just Do It. On Encrypting your Computer with Full Disk Encryption! If you have a maching running a Pro version of Windows, use Bitlocker. Windows 7 ||| Windows 10 If you are running any other version of Windows, use Veracrypt. Securityinabox.org has a great guide on using Veracrypt to encrypt an external drive or your entire computer. If you're running MacOS, Backblaze (the Cloud Storage company) has a comprehensive FileVault usage guide, though Apple's isn't so bad. If you're running Linux you probably don't need our assistance. *grin* On Backing up your data & Encryption in the Cloud: One of the biggest risks to your data is physical failure or destruction of your devices. While services like Google Drive, iCloud, Dropbox and Box give us places to put our files in a pretty secure way, information stored on those services can be accessed and recovered by the services themselves in case of an investigation or subpoena. We recommend Backblaze as they encrypt data at rest and support two factor authentication. On Communicating Securely: We recommend using Signal Private Messenger, which includes iOS and Android apps and a Chrome extension and supports private messaging and calling. Whatsapp supports end-to-end encryption. With Facebook Messenger you can enable secret conversations. We suggest never sending sensitive information over email. On Social Media: Check out SecurityInABox.org's guide to security and privacy on social networking sites. On Browsing Secureiy: Drive-by malware downloads and poisoned ad networks, or shady looking porn sites, can mean you may pick something up while browsing the internet, often through no fault of your own. Most of us use both Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox to browse the web, each for different sets of accounts (Multiple Google Accounts!) and with different sets of extensions installed to help protect ourselves. Mister Pent prefers Ghostery. Dylan Thomas uses Adblock Plus with Google Chrome, and NoScript on Mozilla Firefox. For ultimate browsing privacy, the Tor Browser is a good option. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Our 2017 LOTS THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Intro Music: Pegboard Nerds - Talk About It f/ Desirée Dawson, off the new Nerds By Nature EP Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Outro Music: nanobii - Chipland Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph Chris Pent

15 Tammi 20171h 13min

One of the main reasons that so many of us leave monogamous relationships is the realization that we or our partners may not be as hetero as we thought. Non-monogamy can provide an exceptional opportunity to go beyond Kinsey's Scale, and view the entire spectrum of sexuality that spreads out before us, learning about ourselves in the process. The fluidity of sexuality and sexual expression is often underappreciated in the vanilla world. From straight to gay, to bi, pan, and omni, that's what we're talking about tonight on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's featured music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"! Today's intro music came courtesy of Vlad Lucan in his track titled Reverse! Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - PIXEL Outro Music: Tristam - Before We Fade Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph Chris Pent

28 Joulu 20161h 28min

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X (plus 1)! We're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. As usual, answers have not been edited for content or clarity! If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message, or email us at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag! As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Tonight we answer the following written questions: My road into non-monogamy has been a twisted and challenging path. My 13-year marriage ended last year partly because of an incompatibility around the potential for opening our marriage. When I started dating I tried to be very open with women about my desire for non-monogamy and live a polyamourous life that includes swinging and sometimes a little kink and BDSM. Through dating apps like Tinder I have met many wonderful women and had some great relationships develop. I have tremendously transparent conversations with these women. Most run for the hills after to non-monogamy talk, some are intrigued and go along with it for a while, but in the end these relationships mostly follow the same pattern. The woman is okay with other partners in the beginning, but as time passes she always has a difficult time with the non-monogamy and it ends or goes to the friend zone. Otherwise the woman wants a "don't ask don't tell" or "friends with benefits" approach, which to me is just single dating rather than ethical non monogamy. It is impossible to have intimacy without transparency. Where does one go to find women who are already there in the poly/swinger community who are looking for other poly/swing single partners? Are there any better strategies for finding women more directly who already share these values? Aaron from Canada My brief backstory: 50ish male, married for twenty-something years. I have always struggled with attraction, crushes, and even feelings for, and from, others. Monogamy isn't actually what I want, and, in the spirit of a good mid-life crisis, I'm not getting any younger. Being aware of the trauma that this might cause my wife, I have introduced the topic gently and slowly. She has reacted... well, it's hard to say. There has been no screaming and crying, which I guess is a good sign. The best description of her reaction is "ninja-level avoidant", as she deflects my every attempt to explore this in depth. An example: after a recent talk she said "you've given me a lot to think about". I realise what I want most is to have the relationship communication skills that are necessary to be non-monogamous in the first place. To have the openness that I hear others describe in their relationships. It's not even principally about the swinging anymore. I have communication envy! So how do I learn to communicate like a non-monogamous person? And how do I teach someone else to do this? Is it possible? My husband I have been in the swing lifestyle since we first started dating 6 years ago. Along the way, I have developed more romantic feelings for some of our partners, while things remain mainly about friendship and sex for my husband. I've tried to hide my feelings which has resulted in a lot of hurt. We are trying to figure out how to move forward when I feel more poly and he still feels more like a swinger and isn't interested in developing romantic relationships. I'm having trouble finding resources that talk about how to successfully move between the two. Kara Today I found out, in a convoluted way, that a long-term male partner of mine sexually assaulted someone. I don't know the any details. I don't know when it happened, or what happened afterwards. I do know that women don't lie about sexual assault. I also learned two others say they witnessed him pushing boundaries or putting women in uncomfortable situations , and that he's seen as a "missing stair" in some subsets of our local kink community. This is someone I love. Someone I've only ever had positive, affirming, respectful experiences with. Someone I trusted with my life (and I'm an angry, suspicious, mostly-lesbian hardcore feminist killjoy who rarely trusts anyone). What should I do? Oh, and just to make things even more complicated, this partner's live-in partner is also my partner. We're a triad. Do I tell her? How? In answering this question, Dylan lamented not reading the question before he read it as he wanted to have a more prepared answer. Dr. Liz on the other hand was able to respond quickly and effectively on ways to address members of the community to who have violated boundaries and support people who have had their boundaries violated, and how to both repair and grow the larger community after. Visit a compilation of resources Dr. Liz put together here. We took a little time at the end of the episode for business. Dr. Liz put out a new video on Youtube titled "What's the 'Friend Zone' Anyway?" Mike Joseph has been speaking lately on behalf of the Jed Foundation, a NYC based organization empowering teens and young adults with the skills and support to grow into healthy thriving adults. Visit them at www.jedfoundation.org. You can also always find Mike Joseph at his podcast the Jheri Curl Chronicles Radio Show at www.popblerd.com. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's intro music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"! Reading Reviews Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: DROELOE - Bon Voyage Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

22 Joulu 20161h 14min

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X! That's right, this is our thirtieth listener mailbag episode, and we're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag! As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Tonight we answer a voicemail question on how to maintain long distance play relationships, and the following written questions: I'm a big fan of the podcast,of you as people and of all you're doing for people in the lifestyle. First of all I would like to say as a black man I appreciated the episode on Polyamorous as a Person of Colour, granted my experiences are a different as I am from a majority black country(Jamaica) so I swing with mostly black people. Is being in fuck with someone a thing? Meaning you're not in love with them but you and them have a unique sexual chemistry. Is this a thing, can you be in love, just with having sex with someone? I'm married to a great guy in a monogamous relationship. My fantasy has always been to have an MFM threesome. I finally found the courage to mention this to him a couple years ago, and he was cautious but excited about exploring; he could tell it really turned me on. The question has been who - we both want it to be someone we know well enough that we trust them, and I'm pretty picky. So we haven't really pursued it. Well, we finally have someone in mind. Here's the thing: he's married. He and I originally met at burning man, and since then the four of us have all gotten to know each other. His wife is great. She jokes about his "girlfriends" and he implies they have some flexibility, but I'm not sure exactly what that means. When I asked him if they are poly, he said no, he doesn't like that term. So I don't really know if she'd be cool with it. What is the protocol for trying to move things forward? I'd feel pretty comfortable asking the third if he'd be into it. I'd feel less comfortable asking his wife's "permission." Whatever happens, I don't want to foul up our friendship. (FWIW we don't have an interest in swinging at the moment.) What would you do? Oh, and assuming the third is into it, any tips for keeping things sexy and comfortable for us? My husband is a little nervous how he'll feel seeing his wife with another man! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - Pixel Intro Music: Soupandreas & inverness - Tumbling Down Reading Reviews Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: Hush - Ruimtevaart Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

14 Joulu 20161h 17min

Dating in the heteronormative world is difficult. It's also bizarre enough that hundreds of comedies and dramas are made about dating every year. When you zoom down to that subsection of the culture, the minorities of the LGBTQ community who are seeking others in that same minority, it gets more complicated. Tonight we're joined by Claire to talk about dating on the outskirts of sexuality, and LGBTQ matchmaking with Dirty Lola, Dr. Liz Powell, Dylan, and Cooper. As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. You can find Claire Ah, matchmaker, at friendofafriendmatchmaking.com! Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Intro Music: Rogue - Through the Dark, off the Earth EP Politics Music (near the end): Pegboard Nerds - BADBOI VIP Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - Pixel Outro Music: Muzzy - Get Crazy (AgNO3 Remix) Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola

8 Joulu 20161h 20min

A large percentage of us dwell pretty securely within the non-monogamy closet. Friends and family may know something is different about us, but they rarely know fully what is up. That said, we live in a world where being sex-positive and progressive can make a big difference, as can standing with those who are bravely out, so tonight, Dirty Lola, Dr. Liz Powell, Cooper and Dylan talk about how to navigate being sex-positive from inside the non-monogamy closet . As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast! We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music by: Intro Music: Puppet - Listen to the Storm, off the new Fear is Fleeting EP Politics Music (in the beginning): Pegboard Nerds - BADBOI VIP Outtakes Music: Tokyo Machine - Pixel Outro Music: Hush - Eenhoorn, off the upcoming Ruimtevaart EP Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola

3 Joulu 20161h 15min

Life on the Swingset hosts its fifth annual trip to Desire Resort & Spa in Cancún, right in the heart of the Riviera Maya. Cooper, Dylan, Dr. Liz, Lyndzi, and Mr. Pent sit under the thatched roof and next to the bar of the rooftop hot tub and talk Fridays, resort staff, about the cosmic joke that is being "stuck" in Mexico while Election 2016 concluded, and about the new normal that involves orgies under the stars and so much more. Thank you to our trip sponsors! Lube Sponsor: überlube Condom Sponsor: Lucky Bloke Prize Sponsor: Shevibe Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf. You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! Today's podcast featured music by: Intro Music: Puppet & Murtagh - Killing Giants (feat. Richard Caddock) Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Chris Pent Lyndzi Miller

25 Marras 20161h 36min