50. Stef: Permission to exist

50. Stef: Permission to exist

What does it cost a person to spend decades not being allowed to exist as themselves?

In this episode of 34o – The Intimacy Podcast, Henrik sits down with Stef, host of Together Moving Forward, to explore what it means to live in constant vigilance — and what it takes to come back from it.

From an early age, Stef learned to adapt.
To monitor his posture, his voice, his presence.
Not as a choice. But as survival.

Growing up outside what was considered “normal”, he faced daily bullying, isolation, and years of hiding. Over time, that vigilance moved from the mind into the body — shaping his health, his identity and his relationship to himself.

This is a conversation about:

• The cost of growing up feeling different
• How shame and chronic stress live in the body
• Self-harm, EMDR and the long road back to safety
• The difference between confidence and permission
• What happens to intimacy when we stop editing ourselves

Today, Stef is back on the ice in his late fifties — not to perform, but to inhabit himself.

His story is queer in context.
But what he describes is deeply human.

Because at the core of it all lies a simple shift:

From performing who you are…
to allowing yourself to exist.


Redefining love, trust & how we connect

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59. Joey: The Truth About Modern Masculinity

59. Joey: The Truth About Modern Masculinity

What if discipline isn’t something you’re born with?In this episode of the 34o Podcast, I sit down with Joey to explore the experiences that shaped his life, from addiction and fear to fatherhood, dis...

30 Kesä 1h 19min

58. Rachel: The Intimacy Crisis - Why We’ve Become Disconnected from Ourselves

58. Rachel: The Intimacy Crisis - Why We’ve Become Disconnected from Ourselves

What if the real crisis isn’t in our relationships?What if it’s our relationship with ourselves?In this episode of 34o, Henrik sits down with Rachel Black, founder of Tantric Heart, to explore why so ...

23 Kesä 1h 17min

57. Charlotte: Why Love Feels Unsafe

57. Charlotte: Why Love Feels Unsafe

Why do so many people long for intimacy while simultaneously protecting themselves from it?In this episode of 34o, Henrik sits down with relationship coach and embodiment teacher Charlotte Vetter for ...

16 Kesä 1h 14min

56. Hanna Basel: Communication Is Not the Problem

56. Hanna Basel: Communication Is Not the Problem

What if communication is not the problem?What if it’s the symptom?In this episode, Henrik sits down with couples and sex therapist Hanna Basel to explore what really happens underneath conflict, disco...

9 Kesä 1h 13min

55. Stella: The Curtains & the Light

55. Stella: The Curtains & the Light

What if the deepest intimacy is not intensity…but emotional safety?In this episode of 34o, we enter the world of Stella, a woman who appears confident, sensual and emotionally aware on the surface, ye...

2 Kesä 15min

54. Beyond Release: Presence, Pleasure & Aliveness

54. Beyond Release: Presence, Pleasure & Aliveness

What if intimacy isn’t only about release… but about presence?In this deeply personal episode of 34o, Henrik explores the difference between performance and connection, orgasm and pleasure, intensity ...

26 Touko 23min

53. Sexy after 50: Why Desire Goes Offline

53. Sexy after 50: Why Desire Goes Offline

What if the problem isn’t your desire…but your nervous system?In this episode of 34o – The Intimacy Podcast, Henrik sits down with therapist Julie Merriman, host of Sexy After 50, to explore the deepe...

19 Touko 1h 3min

52. From You, Outward: The Hidden Connection Between Self, Love & Society

52. From You, Outward: The Hidden Connection Between Self, Love & Society

What if the struggles you experience in yourself, in your relationships… and even in society… are not separate problems at all?In this episode of 34o, we break something down that is often made overly...

12 Touko 11min

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