Anxiety Recovery: When You're Trying To "Win" (Episode 154)

In this episode, Josh and Drew discuss a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: the desire to "win" against your anxiety. For many, especially those with perfectionist tendencies, anxiety is viewed as an adversary that has taken something away. This leads to a constant, habitual checking to see if the anxiety is gone, which inadvertently keeps you stuck in a cycle of monitoring and frustration.

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We look at why defining recovery as a "win" can be counterproductive.

• The Lack of Closure: Unlike a sports match, there is no final bell or celebration when you recover. Recovery often just peters out until you realize you haven't thought about how you feel in weeks.

• Examination Compulsions: When you are hell-bent on winning, you might find yourself checking how you feel 50 times a day. Because anxiety involves a doubt response, even a "good" check is often met with more doubt, leading to increased frustration.

• The Perfectionist Hurdle: Perfectionists often want to get recovery "exactly right," looking for a certificate or absolute proof that the battle is over.

We explore the idea that true progress isn't measured by the absence of symptoms, but by your willingness to experience them.

• Surrender vs. Resistance: While "winning" implies a fight, recovery is found in surrender—not to the anxiety, but to the reality of the moment.

• Functional Impact: We discuss measuring success by how much you are living your life, regardless of how you feel. If an adrenaline spike used to stop you for a week and now it only stops you for an hour, that is progress.

• The Paradox of Recovery: You know you are winning when you stop asking if you are winning.

We share inspiring stories from our community members who practiced these principles.

• The 5K Race: A listener shares how she completed a 5K and set a personal best despite dealing with stomach cramps and the urge to stop.

• The London Trip: A community member discusses traveling to London and using the tube while experiencing high anxiety and physical sensations, choosing to lean into the discomfort to attend an important event.

• The Wedding Day: A past caller shares her experience of getting married while navigating Relationship OCD (ROCD), proving that you can have a beautiful, meaningful day even when your internal experience is difficult.

Ultimately, the win isn't when the anxiety leaves; the win is when it doesn't matter that it's there.

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