39: Understanding PDA through the nervous system with Sarah Middleton

What if what looks like "defiance" is actually a nervous system asking for safety?

In this powerful conversation, Laetitia sits down with Sarah Middleton, neurodivergent social worker, educator and founder of Brilliant Little Gems, to unpack one of the most misunderstood neurodivergent profiles: PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy).

Together they explore why behaviour-focused approaches often miss what is really happening, how pressure and expectations can activate a child's nervous system, and why curiosity, compassion and connection create far more lasting change than compliance ever could.

Sarah shares her own journey as a late-identified autistic ADHDer and parent, alongside practical insights that help families, educators and professionals move away from behaviour management and towards truly neuroaffirming support.

If you've ever wondered why traditional strategies seem to make things worse for some children, this episode will completely shift your perspective.

✨ Try Understanding Zoe free for 7 days – the neuroaffirming app turning every report, observation and meltdown into an actionable next step.

KEY TAKEAWAYS 👇

🧠 What PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy) really is beyond outdated labels

🧠 Why behaviour is often a reflection of nervous system activation, not defiance

🧠 How curiosity and compassion create space for connection

🧠 Why pressure and expectations can increase distress for PDAers

🧠 The importance of autonomy, choice and flexibility

🧠 Practical ways schools can better support students with a PDA profile

🧠 Why collaboration between families and schools changes outcomes

🧠 How somatic approaches offer insights that cognitive strategies alone often miss

🧠 Why late-identified neurodivergent adults often reconnect with themselves through body awareness

🧠 How letting go of neuronormative expectations benefits the whole family

💛 Love what you heard? Subscribe, share with your care village, and leave us a review so more families can find this support.

🔗 Try Understanding Zoe for free today

ABOUT THE GUEST 👇

Sarah Middleton is a neurodivergent social worker, educator and parent who blends research, lived experience and direct honesty to create spaces where neurodivergent people can truly thrive.

Through Brilliant Little Gems, she provides PDA education and somatic coaching for families, educators and support professionals, helping them move beyond behaviour-focused frameworks towards approaches grounded in nervous system understanding, connection and genuine inclusion. Sarah is known for translating complex concepts into practical strategies that families and professionals can confidently use every day.

💻 Website: https://brilliantlittlegems.com.au/

📸 Instagram: @sarah.middleton.blg

📚 A Story About My Brain (children's picture book): https://brilliantlittlegems.com.au/pda-book-for-children

ABOUT THE HOST 👇

Laetitia Andrac (Autistic & ADHDer) is an award-winning entrepreneur, international speaker, and podcast host.

She is the bestselling author of Light It: How to Trust Your Intuition and Build a Thriving Business. With over 15 years of experience in consulting, strategy, and innovation, Laetitia has worked with industry leaders like Deloitte and Telstra.

Inspired by my journey as a neurodivergent parent, she co-founded Understanding Zoe, an AI-driven solution dedicated to supporting caregivers of neurodivergent children.

Her passion is creating a more neuroinclusive world, where everyone can thrive—whether in their homes, communities, or workplaces.