When Being Seen Isn't the Same as Being Heard

This week Alyssa and Nadia get into something personal, what it actually feels like to navigate the healthcare system when you're not sure you'll be taken seriously.

It starts with an Instagram post about a woman who showed up to her appointment in heels and still got dismissed. A neurosurgeon decided her back pain couldn't be that bad if she was wearing them. The medical student in the room started wondering if she'd dressed up just to be believed.

From there Alyssa shares a story Nadia was actually part of. A contact lens appointment when Nadia was nine that went sideways fast, and how a healthcare provider can make a patient and their family feel small. Alyssa talks through the moment she caught herself trying to prove her own credibility to a stranger, mentioning skiing and snowboarding to signal that she was the kind of mom worth listening to. She's still a little embarrassed thinking about it.

Nadia brings in what she's been learning in her public health classes about unconscious bias, cultural competency, and why one size fits all thinking in medicine causes real harm. They get into pain scales, Spanish speaking patients, what it means to truly listen, and why in-person translators matter more than most people realize.

There's also a funny detour involving Eric and a misheard medical diagnosis in Colombia, which ends up making a pretty solid point about how easily misunderstandings can happen when language gets in the way.

Takeaways

• The way a patient dresses can say more about what they've had to survive in the system than what they're actually feeling that day

• Unconscious bias shows up in healthcare whether providers are aware of it or not, and awareness is only the first step

• Trying to perform credibility for a healthcare provider is exhausting, and it shouldn't be necessary

• A nine year old putting in contact lenses for the first time just needs someone patient, not someone with a point to prove

• Pain is personal and cultural, a 10 out of 10 doesn't mean the same thing for everyone

• The best providers use whatever time they have to actually listen

• Speaking a patient's language, literally or figuratively, changes the quality of care you can give

• In-person translators aren't a luxury, they're part of decent care

Chapters

• 0:10 – 6:08 Ambulances, city noise, and growing up in a quiet suburb versus Boston
• 6:08 – 10:21 The Instagram post about a woman in heels, a dismissive surgeon, and what dressing up at the doctor might really mean
• 10:21 – 19:24 Alyssa's contact lens story where a cold fitter left them both feeling small and how she caught herself trying to prove she was worth listening to
• 19:24 – 24:18 What Nadia's public health classes have taught her about bias, cultural competency, and the gaps in how providers are trained
• 24:18 – 29:59 Pain scales, Spanish-speaking patients, and what it looks like when someone just needs to be heard
• 29:59 – 34:07 Colombia, Eric's misdiagnosis, and the case for in-person translators
• 34:07 – 37:23 Which languages would actually help, and finding your footing as a new provider when you can speak someone's language

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