018 How to Have Sex When You're Not Feeling Sexy

What do you do when you're not feeling sexy, but you still want sex?

This week, Anja and Amelie tackle one of the most universal — and least talked about — sex problems: how to bridge the gap between "not in the mood" and actually showing up for intimacy. Spoiler: it's not about forcing it. It's about getting curious about what's actually in the way.

They get into:

• Why sex belongs higher on the priority list, not at the bottom of the to-do list
• The research on regular sex, orgasms, and long-term health
• Scheduling sex (and why "three strikes you're out" might be the boundary you need)
• How to name what's really going on — vulnerability, safety, feeling disconnected — instead of pretending it isn't there
• Masturbation as a meditative practice, and what to do when it feels boring
• Body care, music, oils, and other slow on-ramps into your own arousal
• Why going slow is countercultural — and often more erotic than going fast
• How live streaming taught Anja to "show up" sexually on a schedule, mood or no mood

Sexy Story Time: A massage that turned into one of the most devotional, unhurried encounters Amelie has ever had — with someone in a sexless marriage who couldn't remember the last time they'd been touched. Slow hands, consent checked every step of the way, and the kind of aftercare that changes how someone understands intimacy.

By the end, two hosts who started the episode "not sexy and mildly depressed" land somewhere a lot warmer. Funny, tender, and honest about what it actually takes to come back to your body.

This episode contains explicit conversations about sex, masturbation, and intimacy. 18+ only.