Facebook Dating Felons, the Titbit & Tiny Dictators On Carousels

This week, Jessica and Sonia are accidentally dressed alike—again—and immediately dive into the very serious injustice of planning a perfect all weather outfit. Jessica shares her brief journey into Facebook Dating, where the options are endless, including at least one man whose background check came with an actual mugshot. Meanwhile, Sonia has reached the “I have Googled parenting strategies because apparently five is the new fifteen” stage of motherhood. She introduces Jessica to a method of parenting that treats defiance like a tactical operation—but with compliments, connection, and significantly less emotional damage than others she's found. Sonia puts the method to the test after Annabelle swings from the antlers of a carousel deer at Funtown, while Jessica shares how she helps Hayden “push the mad out.” They also discuss the pressure millennial moms feel to be endlessly present, emotionally regulated and enthusiastically available for imaginary play—even though their own parents mostly told them to go outside, drink from the hose and return when the streetlights came on. Also covered: the invention of the Titbit, a review of why wearing a Fitbit on your wrist is apparently the Crocs of fitness tracking, children who expose your emotional state with uncomfortable accuracy, and the universal parenting experience of wondering, What the hell was that? before immediately entering the next developmental phase.

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