109. When Needing Feels Unsafe: Understanding Dependency, Shame, and Healthy Interdependence

In this episode, Marnie explores the often misunderstood topic of dependency and how our early experiences shape the way we relate to our needs, our relationships, and ourselves. Drawing on the work of Pia Mellody and the foundations of shame resilience, she examines why asking for help can feel so difficult and how shame can keep us disconnected from the very support we need.

Marnie unpacks three common dependency stances: over-dependency, anti-dependency, and the "needless/wantless" adaptation. She explains how each develops as a survival response, how each impacts intimacy and connection, and why these patterns often leave people feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or unseen.

She also explores the difference between needs and wants, the role of self-care in emotional health, and what it means to move toward healthy interdependence. Through practical examples and reflection questions, Marnie offers a framework for identifying needs, communicating them more clearly, and building deeper, more authentic relationships.

Click here to learn more & join The Healing Room!

Download the Understanding Dependency handout and reflection questions here.

Want to connect with us? Schedule your free 15-minute call.

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108. Who Are You Trusting With Your Betrayal Trauma?

In this episode, Marnie explores the importance of carefully choosing who you trust with your healing. When you have already experienced betrayal, deception, and a loss of trust, finding the right per...

17 Elo 28min

107. Looking Back, Living Forward: What I Didn’t Say

In this follow-up to the previous episode, Marnie revisits the conversation about grief, healing, and moving forward after betrayal. Reflecting on what she wishes she had said, she expands on two impo...

27 Heinä 10min

106. Looking Back, Living Forward

In this episode, Marnie explores a painful reality of healing after betrayal: the relationship you thought you had before discovery no longer exists. While it is natural to long for the "before" and w...

16 Heinä 22min

105. Women Healing Together

On this special episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie and Maddie are joined by Ally, Amy, and Shauna, who attended our first Empowered at Sea retreat. Together, they share honest reflect...

25 Kesä 1h 5min

104. Neuro-Difference, Betrayal Trauma, and Healing

In this episode, Marnie speaks with Candice Christiansen about navigating betrayal trauma through the lens of neuro-difference, an incredibly important topic we have not focused on before on the Helpi...

5 Kesä 52min

103. Consequences with Ned Fulmer

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Ned Fulmer, YouTuber, producer, content creator, and online personality, for a deeply honest conversation about the consequen...

28 Huhti 46min

102. Women Betray Too

In this episode, Marnie talks with Patty, a female betrayer, and Judith Nisenson, a betrayal trauma coach, to confront the often-ignored reality that women betray too. They dive deep into the unique p...

27 Maalis 1h 9min