I Found My Dad After Suicide. Then Jesus Carried Me Through The Dark

Welcome back to The Matt Richardson Podcast. Today’s episode features an incredible, inspiring conversation with my friend Ellie Dupaix on navigating suicide loss, overcoming victim mentality, and building an authentic testimony of Jesus Christ.

Two years ago, Ellie experienced an unthinkable tragedy: she was the one who found her father, Sean Oliver—a strong, sturdy, beloved orthodontist—after he tragically lost his life to suicide. Ellie opens up about who her father really was, painting a picture far beyond how he passed away—from his playful teasing and quiet presence in the mountains to his unwavering belief in her abilities and the secret "I love you" sign he’d flash from the gym bleachers.

Ellie details the unexpected months leading up to his passing, seeing her steady father cry for the first time as he battled hidden, ruminating thoughts and severe insomnia. She takes us through that heavy Sunday afternoon, finding his phone, stepping into the backyard shed, and the unbearable pain of falling to her knees when reality set in.

She shares the dark, disorienting days that followed—questioning if God was even real—and the miraculous shift that occurred when her family chose to open their eyes to the tangible light of Christ moving through their community. From her 4-month "hibernation era" of staying in bed and going on sunset walks with her dog, to starting a prayer journal where she wrote to God like a friend, Ellie shares how she surrendered her grief to the Lord, turned her ashes into beauty, and rebuilt her life on an unshakable personal relationship with Jesus.

What you’ll hear:

Beyond the tragedy: Remembering Sean Oliver’s strength, curiosity, and love.

The warning signs of ruminating thoughts, insomnia, and OCD in strong men.

Finding her father: Navigating the immediate shock, guilt, and disorienting darkness.

Discerning agency and tragedy: Recognizing that God didn't abandon her family.

The "Hibernation Era": Why taking time to heal in bed and nature was vital.

Writing to God as a friend: How a prayer journal transformed her spiritual walk.

If this message spoke to your heart, consider this channel a safe haven for your journey. We are here to bring you the hope, restoration, and real-life tools found only in Jesus Christ.