Breakups, Identity Shifts & Finding Belonging Abroad | Ep 93

Melissa Parks, Ph.D. joins Mickelle for a conversation about what life abroad really asks of us, beneath the logistics, beneath the highlight reel. Melissa shares how a devastating breakup in Spain became a turning point: not just the loss of a partner, but a “compound grief” that included home, visa security, community, and identity. Together, they name what so many Peregrines feel but rarely articulate: when you live between cultures, you’re constantly becoming and that process can be both beautiful and brutal.

Melissa introduces mindful self-compassion as a practical way through transition: first, acknowledging what’s true without getting swallowed by it; second, remembering common humanity (you’re not alone); and third, speaking to yourself with real kindness. They explore why even positive moves can activate grief in the body, and why closing one chapter with intention—goodbyes, rituals, permission to feel—helps us enter the next with more steadiness.

The conversation opens into identity and belonging too: fitting in versus true belonging, the “multi-selves” we develop across languages and cultures, and Melissa’s late-in-life autism diagnosis, an added layer of self-knowing that reframes her experience of masking, sensitivity, and self-acceptance. Ultimately, living abroad becomes an invitation to go deeper, if we’re willing to build the tools to meet it.

In this episode:

• Why a breakup abroad can become compound grief

• The 3 parts of mindful self-compassion (and how to use them)

• How transition shows up in the body (panic, insomnia, overwhelm)

• Closing chapters intentionally before starting new ones

• Fitting in vs belonging, and the “multi-selves” of global life

• Neurodivergence, masking, and self-acceptance across cultures

For more about Melissa Parks and all episode links and resources, visit: https://www.houseofperegrine.com/podcast/ep-093. Her memoir, A Compassionate Mess: A Therapist, Her Monsters, and a Journey to Self-Acceptance, will be published June 23, 2026.

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