017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

427: Live work with Joshua--The Secret of Self-Esteem

427: Live work with Joshua--The Secret of Self-Esteem

Live work with Joshua-- The Secret of Self-Esteem I was recently a guest on the "Philosophical Weightlifting" podcast with host Joshua Gibson (link). At the end of the interview, he asked if I could ...

16 Joulu 20241h 28min

426: The Story of My Life, Part 1, David is interviewed by Joshua Gibson, Host of the Psychological Weightlifting Podcas

426: The Story of My Life, Part 1, David is interviewed by Joshua Gibson, Host of the Psychological Weightlifting Podcas

The Story of My Life, Part 1 David is interviewed by Joshua Gibson, Host of the Psychological Weightlifting Podcast Hi! Today will be a bit different. I appeared as a guest on a cool podcast called ...

9 Joulu 20241h 17min

425: Ask David: Dreading the Day; Solving Mother-Daughter Problems; Romance; and More!

425: Ask David: Dreading the Day; Solving Mother-Daughter Problems; Romance; and More!

Waking Up Dreading the Day Mother-Daughter Problems Patients Who Are Afraid of Their Feelings Romantic Problems, and More Questions for today: Rose asks: I wake up dreading the day. What can I do?! M...

2 Joulu 20241h 3min

424: How to Give Negative Feedback In a Loving Way

424: How to Give Negative Feedback In a Loving Way

How to Give Critical / Negative Feedback In a Loving, Constructive Way AND How to Avoid the Common Traps Today's podcast features Dr. Jill Levitt, Director of Training at the www.FeelingGoodInstitute....

25 Marras 20241h 7min

423: The Feared Fantasy Festival

423: The Feared Fantasy Festival

The Feared Fantasy Festival! Featuring Jill Levitt, PhD Rhonda asked about the differences between the four Feared Fantasy Techniques and what each one is used for. So we're dedicating today's podcast...

18 Marras 20241h 31min

422: Ask David: Getting off Benzos; Music and Emotions; Negative Thoughts about the World; and more

422: Ask David: Getting off Benzos; Music and Emotions; Negative Thoughts about the World; and more

Ask David: Getting Off Benzos How Does Music Stir Our Emotions? Combatting Negative Thoughts about the World Treating Schizophrenia with TEAM The Four Feared Fantasy Techniques and more! Questions for...

11 Marras 20241h 16min

421: Enlightenment Month: Meet Tahn Palmetto!

421: Enlightenment Month: Meet Tahn Palmetto!

Meet Tahn Palmetto Theravada Buddhism--the Thai Forest Tradition Our dear colleague, Jason Meno, generously invited five high-profile Buddhist monks / teachers, to appear on our Feeling Good Podcast, ...

4 Marras 20241h 33min

420: The Mindfulness Mystery Tour! And Two HUGE Discoveries!

420: The Mindfulness Mystery Tour! And Two HUGE Discoveries!

The Mindfulness Mystery Tour! And Two Mind-Boggling Discoveries about Meditation! Featuring Jason Meno Today, Jason Meno, our beloved AI guy on the Feeling Great App team, shares some incredible and i...

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