017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

395: Ask David: More on Insomnia; Porn Addiction Guilt; Help with Rage

395: Ask David: More on Insomnia; Porn Addiction Guilt; Help with Rage

Ask David, Rhonda and Matt More on Insomnia; Porn Addiction Guilt; Rage Questions for today James asks for help with insomnia. Arjun Asks: How can I stop blaming myself for my porn addiction as a ...

11 Touko 20241h 16min

394: Report on Social Anxiety Marathon

394: Report on Social Anxiety Marathon

Featured photo is Dr. Jacob Towery Report on the 2nd Annual Social Anxiety Marathon Finding Humans Less Scary 2.0 Led by Jacob Towery, MD (above) and Michael Luo, MD (below) Today, Drs. Jacob Towe...

29 Huhti 202450min

393: TEAM for Insomnia

393: TEAM for Insomnia

393 Marina Dyck on TEAM for Insomnia Today we feature Marina Dyck, a TEAM-Certified Clinical Counselor in private practices in Swift Current, Saskatchewan, Canada. She works with individuals and famil...

22 Huhti 20241h 23min

392: The Empty Nest Cure

392: The Empty Nest Cure

392 The Empty Nest Cure Featuring Jill Levitt, PhD Plus BIG NEWS! The Magical Annual Intensive Returns this Summer at the South San Francisco Conference Center August 9 -13, 2024 You can Review th...

15 Huhti 20241h

391: Ask David: Evolution of TEAM from CBT; Porn; Compulsive Liars; and More!

391: Ask David: Evolution of TEAM from CBT; Porn; Compulsive Liars; and More!

Evolution of TEAM from CBT Porn Compulsive Liars Angry Patients Who Resist Where's the App? and More! Note: The answers below were written by David prior to the podcast, just to give some structure to...

8 Huhti 20241h 5min

390: Ask David: Self-Acceptance, People who Resist, Transgenderism, Job Interviews, and more

390: Ask David: Self-Acceptance, People who Resist, Transgenderism, Job Interviews, and more

Self-Acceptance, People who Resist, Secrets of Dynamic Job Interviews, Five Secrets with your Boss, Do Cognitive Distortions Cause Transgenderism? Note: The answers below were written by David prior t...

1 Huhti 202457min

389: The Story of Amy, Part 2 of 2

389: The Story of Amy, Part 2 of 2

Featured Photo is Dr. Amy Huberman The Amy Story, Part 2: The Joys of Doing the Laundry! Amy and her exuberant son, Sasha, and wife, Alena Last week you heard Part 1 of the Amy session, which include...

25 Maalis 20241h 28min

388: The Amy Story, Part 1 of 2

388: The Amy Story, Part 1 of 2

Featured Photo is Dr. Amy Huberman The Amy Story Part 1: True Confessions of a "Fraud" and a "Failure" Part 2: The Joys of Doing the Laundry Amy and her exuberant son, Sasha, and husband, Poppy Today...

18 Maalis 20241h 3min

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