017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

095: The Recovery Circle

095: The Recovery Circle

How to select the techniques that will be most helpful for various kinds of problems, and how to individualize the treatment for each patient.

2 Heinä 20181h 4min

094: 50 Methods in 50 Minutes (Part 2)

094: 50 Methods in 50 Minutes (Part 2)

For a long time, Fabrice has wanted to do a show on my list of "Fifty Ways to Untwist Your Thinking" called "Fifty Ways in Fifty Minutes." So we finally did it, and it was fun! If I'm helping you over...

25 Kesä 20181h 5min

093: 50 Methods in 50 Minutes (Part 1)

093: 50 Methods in 50 Minutes (Part 1)

For a long time, Fabrice has wanted to do a show on my list of "Fifty Ways to Untwist Your Thinking" called "Fifty Ways in Fifty Minutes." So we finally did it, and it was fun! If I'm helping you over...

18 Kesä 20181h 6min

092: Stephanie James Interview (Part 1) — Feeling Good Now

092: Stephanie James Interview (Part 1) — Feeling Good Now

I recently did the first of three interviews with Stephanie James on her superb radio show and podcast, The Spark. Here's how Stephanie described the interview (with minor changes): We have amazing p...

11 Kesä 201848min

091: The Celebration of Failure

091: The Celebration of Failure

I had a magical fantasies of what would happen once I was an "author." The reality was quite the opposite and quite painful, with almost endless rejections accompanied by feelings of self-pity and def...

4 Kesä 201828min

090: Roy Germano Interview — How David Became an Anti-Antidepressant Crusader and a Bestselling Author

090: Roy Germano Interview — How David Became an Anti-Antidepressant Crusader and a Bestselling Author

I was recently interviewed by author, professor, and documentary filmmaker Roy Germano for his outstanding Other Side Podcast. Fabrice and I thought you might enjoy this interview, and Roy graciously ...

28 Touko 20181h 5min

089: Ask David — Anxiety Triggers, Weaning off Anti-Depressants

089: Ask David — Anxiety Triggers, Weaning off Anti-Depressants

David and Fabrice answer five intriguing questions submitted by listeners: Joshua: How can I cope with panic attacks during job interviews? Dan: I feel traumatized by criticisms from my boss at work....

21 Touko 201834min

088: Role-Play Techniques (Part 6) — Feared Fantasy, Expanded

088: Role-Play Techniques (Part 6) — Feared Fantasy, Expanded

14 Touko 201848min

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