017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

103: Ask David — Dealing with Intrusive Memories, Is Depression Inherited?

103: Ask David — Dealing with Intrusive Memories, Is Depression Inherited?

Today we answer six questions submitted by listeners like you: Harald: How can I find the Show Notes for the Feeling Good Podcasts? Kristin: How do you help patients who obsess about past traumatic e...

27 Elo 201844min

102: How to Deal With a Suicidal Patient

102: How to Deal With a Suicidal Patient

Suicidal thoughts and urges are very common among depressed patients. The vast majority of depressed individuals have thoughts of suicide from time to time, and some struggle with serious suicidal urg...

20 Elo 201832min

101: Ask David — Therapy Wars: REBT vs. TEAM-CBT

101: Ask David — Therapy Wars: REBT vs. TEAM-CBT

13 Elo 201834min

100: The New Micro-Neurosurgery — A Remarkable Interview with Dr. Mark Noble

100: The New Micro-Neurosurgery — A Remarkable Interview with Dr. Mark Noble

The famed neuroscientist, Dr. Mark Noble, from the University of Rochester, has developed a strong interest in TEAM-CBT and has visited our Tuesday group and Sunday hikes on three occasions this year....

6 Elo 20181h 45min

099: Lisa Nicole Bell Interview — Behind the Brilliance

099: Lisa Nicole Bell Interview — Behind the Brilliance

Lisa Nicole Bell is the host of the highly regarded podcast, Behind the Brilliance. In this lively interview, Nicole and David talk about David's path into the mental health field the difficulties an...

30 Heinä 201859min

098: Live Session (Lee) — Methods, Five Secrets (Part 3)

098: Live Session (Lee) — Methods, Five Secrets (Part 3)

David and Jill do M = Methods, and show Lee how to respond to his wife more skillfully, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication (link). Like everyone who is trying to learn the Five Secrets,...

23 Heinä 20181h 25min

097: Live Session (Lee) — Agenda Setting (Part 2)

097: Live Session (Lee) — Agenda Setting (Part 2)

David and Jill do A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting with Lee, starting with the Invitation: Jill asks Lee if he wants help with the relationship conflict, and if this would be a good time to roll up ou...

16 Heinä 20181h 38min

096: Live Session (Lee) — Testing, Empathy (Part 1)

096: Live Session (Lee) — Testing, Empathy (Part 1)

For the past couple months, Fabrice has asked me to set up a live therapy session to illustrate how to treat troubled relationships using TEAM-CBT. I was fortunate to get an email request from a colle...

9 Heinä 20181h 8min

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