Live IFS12 Huhti 2024

371: Theresa A. revisits

🔸 Family loss. She needed there to be more of a network

🔹 Parts:

P: minimizer. This is fine now, nothing to see here. Family image protector. Never look back. Doesn’t want a bunch of whining, it’s weak to be bothered by things that aren’t horrible. “Self like” is not gonna get the job done
E: kid from whom something was taken. There weren’t other adults. I want my auntie. Too much focus on her. Nobody explained.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Once I was certain about Theresa’s connection w exile, I relaxed and let some other of my parts (who love talking shop w T) step in. Maybe not ideal. But definitely better than starting a session that way.

As for the concept of "inviting the Self of someone else’s parts", it's never felt right to me. If someone was not good to me, who am I serving by imagining they were? Self can do anything for its parts; “I am here, I can go to where you are, and here’s how I would help” builds trust and heals, in the present. Or Self can "see that these were parts of [other person], and have compassion for their system”, in the present. But I think "imagine he was good to you" risks invalidating a part's experience.

Responding to “she needed those relationships not to end” I could have reiterated, "what did she need from someone (you), given those relationships were ending."

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