146: Broccoli Binges, Mate Value, and the Mathematization of Misery | Live caller

146: Broccoli Binges, Mate Value, and the Mathematization of Misery | Live caller

Most people assume that binging only happens with junk food, that we crave what we can't have because scarcity makes things magical, and that playing hard to get will raise your perceived value. Dr. Lisle says none of that is quite right. Your satiation system, your attraction system, and your status system are all running objective evaluations underneath, and most popular advice in these areas misreads what is actually happening.

In this episode, Dr. Lisle unpacks the two satiation mechanisms behind food cravings, introduces his concept of HCNCs (hyperconscientious nut cases), explains why mate value is far more objective than people admit, and lays out the fish trick and its very real limits. A live caller named Stephanie then brings a difficult situation to the show involving grief, a new pregnancy, and extended family in Utah, and Dr. Lisle walks her through boundary strategy, the "you're not a tree" principle, and the mathematization of misery.

Key question covered: Why do we want what we can't have in relationships, and does playing hard to get actually increase our perceived value?

Beat Your Genes is co-hosted by evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Dr. Nathan Gershfeld, DC.

New episodes every other week.

YouTube: youtube.com/@BeatYourGenes

beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle: esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld: fastingescape.com

X: @BeatYourGenes

Intro and outro: City of Happy Ones. Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

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386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

What do you say when a friend or family member recommends horse-assisted coaching, family constellations therapy, or the latest protein fix for your problems? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle ...

10 Heinä 45min

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

A listener who knows evolutionary psychology well asks Dr. Doug Lisle a painful question. If men seem satisfied once they have food and sex, and never care about her inner life, is she fighting a losi...

26 Kesä 1h 12min

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

Why do some people freeze when they try to speak up in a group, while others jump in without a second thought? Dr. Doug Lisle says it is not shyness or a confidence problem you can train away. It is y...

10 Kesä 1h 5min

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

A listener noticed their kid gets dissatisfied after too much screen time and asked Dr. Lisle a deeper question: when your mood feels off, is it always worth analyzing, or are some bad moods just rand...

3 Kesä 1h 9min

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Most people assume mate value is a fixed, rankable number and that attraction follows logically from it. Dr. Lisle says that is the wrong model entirely. Mate value has deep objectivity across a popul...

13 Touko 1h

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

Most people think a marriage in trouble can be downgraded into a business arrangement to protect the house. Dr. Lisle says that is the previous investment trap talking, not your judgment. The four wal...

29 Huhti 50min

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

Your partner's habits are driving you crazy and asking nicely isn't working. The common advice is to be more patient, communicate better, or just accept your partner as they are. Dr. Lisle says that's...

15 Huhti 1h 7min

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

Most people assume that whoever cares less in a relationship holds the power. In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle explains why that framing gets it completely backwards. What people call the "care gap" is...

2 Huhti 1h

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