62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)
Apocrypals19 Huhti 2020

62: Oh, the Jews' Manatees! (The Book of Numbers)

One thing you have to say for the Book of Numbers, Theophiloi: it is exactly what it says in the title. Well, most of it is, anyway. Mixed in with all the census totals and step-by-step MapQuest directions to the Promised Land, though, is some truly wild stuff, including the return of one of our favorite Biblical tropes, the talking animal that no one seems to think is odd in the slightest. Join us, but make sure to brace yourself for a whole lot of skantent.

Topics of discussion: The Devil's Bible (Wizard Magazine), the Devil's Bible (Codex Gigas), horse_ebooks, "Petition Pit," Scholars and Clowns, the two wolves inside us, clown eggs, James O'Barr's The Crow, a large Jamie Madrox of frog, the P editor, a mysterious animal that is either a sea cow or a Lady Rainicorn, Nazarite vs. Nazarene, the Aaronic Benediction, the Lord's invention of ska, an extremely clutch joke made to my wife, Nachos Galacticos, something that is definitely not an idol, Mt. TERF, God just making a bunch of disembodied mouths and then going to bed, Ac***a Gr**e, some wild nasty idol worship in Peor, Rimmon-Perez, a home for Slayer.

Hymnal: "Let Me Ride That Donkey" by 69 Boyz, "Waterloo" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals

Jaksot(126)

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45: Mummy Dust and Skeleton Bones (The Book of Ruth)

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44: Terms and Conditions (The Book of Jeremiah, Part 2)

44: Terms and Conditions (The Book of Jeremiah, Part 2)

The boys are back in town, Theophiloi, and we've got some breaking news: it seems the Kingdom of Judah has broken its covenant with the Lord of Hosts and will be punished with sword, famine, and plagu...

23 Kesä 20191h 27min

43: Why Prophets So Nasty? (The Book of Jeremiah)

43: Why Prophets So Nasty? (The Book of Jeremiah)

Well, Theophiloi, it's been a hot minute, but we're back once again with the first half of Jeremiah, which is both the longest book in Bible and also the most unnecessarily long. Here, we'll save you ...

27 Touko 20191h 10min

42: The Roasting of the Apostle Paul (Second Corinthians)

42: The Roasting of the Apostle Paul (Second Corinthians)

Hello, Theophiloi and Cheerful Givers! Looking for a nice way to relax, chill out, and maybe even fall asleep? Good news: we've got the book for you. Our old nemesis St. Paul is back with a second let...

7 Touko 20191h 8min

41: Neo-Mary Is About To E X P L O D E (The Questions of Bartholomew)

41: Neo-Mary Is About To E X P L O D E (The Questions of Bartholomew)

Happy Easter, Theophiloi! He is risen indeed! It's definitely still Easter, so we're back with the Questions of Bartholomew, and friends, let me tell you: he is not the only one with some questions. J...

30 Huhti 20191h 23min

40: Devil Got a Hog (The Book of Enoch, Part Two)

40: Devil Got a Hog (The Book of Enoch, Part Two)

Happy Holy Week, Theophiloi! If you're like your humble Son of Thunder and his friend the Author of All Lies, you have a keen interest in space. If that's the case, then you're going to love learning ...

19 Huhti 20191h 24min

39: Rain is Boy Water (The Book of Enoch, Part One)

39: Rain is Boy Water (The Book of Enoch, Part One)

Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! To celebrate one year of the show, we're launching into one of our most requested texts: the apocalyptic, hallucinatory, and profoundly influential Book of Enoch. Wri...

7 Huhti 20191h 31min

38: Sword Drill Online (Bible Trivia Special)

38: Sword Drill Online (Bible Trivia Special)

Break out the birthday cake, Theophiloi, because as of this show, we've officially been at this for one full year! We're celebrating by pushing the Guessatron 5000 to its limits with a Bible Trivia Qu...

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