36: Shame

36: Shame

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane discuss the topic of shame; the greatest obstacle/barrier to healing relationships after betrayal. It is crucial that a betraying partner be accountable for his/her betrayal, shame doesn’t accomplish that. In fact, shame makes healing much harder, perhaps impossible. What accompanies shame most often is the feeling of hopelessness, because it tells you that this (what you have done) is who you have always been and always will be. Rather than conceptualizing your betrayal as behavior that caused trauma to your intimate partner (and perhaps others as well), shame frames the betrayal as an integral part of your identity. Most people who feel that at their core they are bad will not believe that they are worthy of forgiveness and healing. While humility pushes you to change and become a better person, shame paralyzes and prevents you from growing and healing. It disables you, blocking your capacity to take the necessary steps to heal yourself or your relationship. Relational healing requires the ability to be relational and present. Shame does the opposite; it pushes you away from your spouse at precisely the moment you should be trying to rebuild your connection. If shame is keeping you or your relationship stuck, please listen to this episode.

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Jaksot(109)

108. Who Are You Trusting With Your Betrayal Trauma?

108. Who Are You Trusting With Your Betrayal Trauma?

In this episode, Marnie explores the importance of carefully choosing who you trust with your healing. When you have already experienced betrayal, deception, and a loss of trust, finding the right per...

17 Elo 28min

107. Looking Back, Living Forward: What I Didn’t Say

107. Looking Back, Living Forward: What I Didn’t Say

In this follow-up to the previous episode, Marnie revisits the conversation about grief, healing, and moving forward after betrayal. Reflecting on what she wishes she had said, she expands on two impo...

27 Heinä 10min

106. Looking Back, Living Forward

106. Looking Back, Living Forward

In this episode, Marnie explores a painful reality of healing after betrayal: the relationship you thought you had before discovery no longer exists. While it is natural to long for the "before" and w...

16 Heinä 22min

105. Women Healing Together

105. Women Healing Together

On this special episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie and Maddie are joined by Ally, Amy, and Shauna, who attended our first Empowered at Sea retreat. Together, they share honest reflect...

25 Kesä 1h 5min

104. Neuro-Difference, Betrayal Trauma, and Healing

104. Neuro-Difference, Betrayal Trauma, and Healing

In this episode, Marnie speaks with Candice Christiansen about navigating betrayal trauma through the lens of neuro-difference, an incredibly important topic we have not focused on before on the Helpi...

5 Kesä 52min

103. Consequences with Ned Fulmer

103. Consequences with Ned Fulmer

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Ned Fulmer, YouTuber, producer, content creator, and online personality, for a deeply honest conversation about the consequen...

28 Huhti 46min

102. Women Betray Too

102. Women Betray Too

In this episode, Marnie talks with Patty, a female betrayer, and Judith Nisenson, a betrayal trauma coach, to confront the often-ignored reality that women betray too. They dive deep into the unique p...

27 Maalis 1h 9min

101. Beyond Talk Therapy: Life-Changing, Somatic Self-Care Practices With Gemini Adams

101. Beyond Talk Therapy: Life-Changing, Somatic Self-Care Practices With Gemini Adams

In this episode, Marnie welcomes back her friend and longtime collaborator, Gemini Adams, a renowned somatic practitioner. Together, they explore a missing piece of the healing journey that many coupl...

17 Maalis 35min

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