Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn6 Touko 2025

Kink, BDSM, and ADHD

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

ADHD and kink might seem like an unexpected pairing, but for a lot of people, they go hand in hand. From rituals that help with focus to play that taps into the need for stimulation, BDSM can be more than just fun — it can be a real tool for regulation and connection.

In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with author and forensic sexologist Stefani Goerlich about how BDSM can actually support ADHD brains by offering structure, sensory input, and clear communication.

Related resources

Stefani’s website, stefanigeorlich.com
Stefani’s books

Timestamps

(02:46) The broad umbrella of ‘kink’

(04:16) Focusing on BDSM in particular, and breaking down the acronym

(08:38) Kink is always relational, only sometimes sexual

(09:48) Why might someone gravitate towards kink/BDSM?

(12:30) Common kink myths

(15:44) Power exchange, and consent as foreplay

(16:32) The benefits of BDSM/kink

(18:24) How kink can help with claiming agency

(21:10) How negotiated arrangements can take some of the strain off executive function challenges

(23:39) What to do when one partner is kinky, and one is not so much

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(51)

When ADHD mistakes spiral and resentment hits (Reddit Reactions)

When ADHD overwhelm hits, it’s usually not because of one big event. It’s the work project and your kid’s school play and the relationship thing and everyone is out of clean socks... and now you’re ca...

13 Tammi 19min

Sensory overload in intimacy and the ADHD hyperfocus spiral (Listener Q&A!)

In this listener Q&A, Cate tackles two wildly relatable ADHD questions: sudden sensory discomfort during intimacy, and the maddening cycle of not being able to start a task… then not being able to sto...

16 Joulu 202519min

Weaponized incompetence and other ADHD “crimes” (Reddit Reactions)

We’re back with another spicy Reddit Reactions episode!This week, we dive into two wildly relatable ADHD relationship posts: one about a partner claiming “you lost your sparkle” (eye roll), and anothe...

2 Joulu 202516min

ADHD impulsivity and saying yes to sex too fast

Ever said yes to sex a little too fast and regretted it later? Same. Today we’re joined by psychologist and Understood Expert Dr. Ari Tuckman for a candid talk about impulsivity, ADHD, and intimacy. W...

18 Marras 202531min

ADHD, disordered eating, and getting through the holidays

The holidays are here — and so is all the food, family, and sensory overload that can come with them. Host Cate Osborn sits down with Aleta Storch, dietitian, nutritionist, ADHD expert, and founder of...

4 Marras 202529min

Breaking the burnout cycle: How to move forward

In the final episode of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” three-part series, host Cate Osborn and Dr. Shauna Pollard explore what comes after burnout. They discuss how burnout can affect your relations...

21 Loka 202529min

Breaking the burnout cycle: What is rest?

Burnout isn’t a weakness. It’s a signal that your body needs real rest. Dr. Shauna Pollard is back for the second episode in our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series to answer the question: What is res...

7 Loka 202530min

Breaking the burnout cycle: What is burnout?

Feeling drained, unmotivated, or stuck in survival mode? In part one of our “Breaking the Burnout Cycle” series, host Cate Osborn and psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard unpack the question: What is burno...

23 Syys 202527min