Setting Healthy Boundaries: Elicia Ybarra on Red Flags in Martial Arts (Part 1)

Setting Healthy Boundaries: Elicia Ybarra on Red Flags in Martial Arts (Part 1)

In Part 1 of our conversation with martial artist and empowerment self-defense instructor Elicia Ybarra, we trace how a childhood love of ninja turtles and karate turned into a 30-year journey through grooming, coercive control, and abuse in multiple martial arts settings, and how she eventually turned all of it into a curriculum to help other women fight back before it ever gets physical.


Elicia described being groomed by a trusted instructor from ages 13–16, losing her community when she tried to set boundaries, getting pulled into a second “family” TaeKwonDo organization where a grandmaster weaponized rank, money, and humiliation, and how those patterns set her up for an extremely violent relationship she barely escaped. She walked us through the turning points: postpartum depression, COVID, therapy, watching cult docs (shoutout, The Vow), quitting smoking, and finally building “Pretty Hands, Hard Punches” and an empowerment self-defense model that starts with boundaries, intuition, and situational awareness—not just throat punches and palm strikes.


Be sure to follow Elicia on her website, prettyhandshardpunches.com, or on Facebook or Instagram @prettyhandshardpunches.


Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual abuse, statutory rape, workplace sexism and harassment, intimate partner violence, and suicide.


Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.


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CREDITS:

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin


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