When You Don’t Want an Answer — You Want a Hug

The need for validation, clarity, and connection often comes out as a question—because a question feels harmless.

But what we’re really doing is throwing a spear at him.

We’re literally throwing something at him.

He’s completely off base—not because he doesn’t care, but because he was probably thinking about sports… or work… or whatever was already in his mind.

He wasn’t thinking anything close to what you were thinking.

So here you are, asking him a question.

“I forgot—what time are we leaving tonight?”

You could have checked your calendar.

You could have looked at your phone.

But you didn’t actually want the time.

You wanted connection.

That question was a connection boost.

The truth is, when we get into clarity scripting, what’s really happening underneath is this:

I feel alone.

I feel weird.

I feel anxious.

I need reassurance.

I need to connect with you.

What you’re actually asking is:

Can I have a hug?

Please hug me.

Or…

I need to kiss you.

I need to look into your eyes.

I’m not in myself—I’m in my head.

I need you to ground me.

But instead of saying that, we ask a question.

So we’re way up in our head—and he feels pushback.

He feels pressure.

He feels like he’s being asked to perform or answer correctly.

And that’s where things start to miss.

On Siren Island, you don’t have to figure this out alone.

You’ll have my trained coaches walking with you in live classes each month—helping you practice clear, direct communication that actually feels good in a relationship… and so much more.

Siren Island is here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/

Love, Rori

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