When Instincts Turn Dark: Staying Human in Hard Times

When Instincts Turn Dark: Staying Human in Hard Times

As we wrap up the conversation on instincts, Christa brings you a powerful episode exploring how our three instincts—self-preservation, sexual, and social—can turn dark or animal-like when we're scared, threatened, or in pain in our marriages or world, and we talk about how to slow down, stay kind stay human, godly, and loving in hard or dystopic times. Though the episode is grounded and practical, Christa addresses cognitive heuristics and mental shortcuts humans can use to dehumanize the "other" including the Halo Effect as well as examines how each instinct goes dark, self-preservation leading to hoarding, sexual instinct leading to using people, and social instinct leading to outgrouping and tribalism—and offers practical ways to stay strong in faith. Drawing on CS Lewis's wisdom that evil must be unwound bit by bit, she calls listeners to not rush the stories of pain away or abandon friends who voted differently as you fight for justice - we're one human body, and we must rise together. Watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(601)

The Body Keeps the Score in the Bedroom: Intimacy, Safety, and Learning to Regulate

The Body Keeps the Score in the Bedroom: Intimacy, Safety, and Learning to Regulate

We often treat physical intimacy as something that happens only in the moment, but the body carries far more than the moment. It carries our history, our stress, and our old wounds, everything it has ...

27 Jul 19min

How The Odyssey Maps the Journey of Your Own Growth

How The Odyssey Maps the Journey of Your Own Growth

Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers...

22 Jul 37min

When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do

When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do

Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and s...

22 Jul 19min

The Art of (Married) Seduction w/Dr. Anna Elton, PhD

The Art of (Married) Seduction w/Dr. Anna Elton, PhD

Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework fo...

20 Jul 40min

Beloved and Imperfect: Meredith Hite Estevez,  Loving One Another As Works of God's Art

Beloved and Imperfect: Meredith Hite Estevez, Loving One Another As Works of God's Art

As a special invitation in the middle of our summer exploring desire and intimacy in marriage, Christa pauses to learn from and to share an experience with a soulful friend, welcoming Meredith Hite E...

17 Jul 44min

Play as a Path Back to Desire: How Fun Reignites Your Sexual Intimacy

Play as a Path Back to Desire: How Fun Reignites Your Sexual Intimacy

Today, Christa reveals the surprising other half of the connection coin when it comes to sexual intimacy: desire does not only need safety, it needs aliveness. Christa names the play deficit that cree...

15 Jul 16min

Seen, Known, and Wanted:  The Three Keys to Real Sexual Intimacy

Seen, Known, and Wanted: The Three Keys to Real Sexual Intimacy

Why do so many couples feel stuck in the bedroom even after decades of marriage? Christa goes straight at the real reason in this episode, the armor we put on to avoid being truly seen. Being physical...

13 Jul 22min

Afterglow: The 48 Hours That Change Your Marriage

Afterglow: The 48 Hours That Change Your Marriage

We tend to think of physical intimacy as a moment, here and then gone. But the research reveals it is actually a window, a lingering afterglow that lasts up to forty-eight hours, and what happens insi...

8 Jul 21min

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