When Instincts Turn Dark: Staying Human in Hard Times

When Instincts Turn Dark: Staying Human in Hard Times

As we wrap up the conversation on instincts, Christa brings you a powerful episode exploring how our three instincts—self-preservation, sexual, and social—can turn dark or animal-like when we're scared, threatened, or in pain in our marriages or world, and we talk about how to slow down, stay kind stay human, godly, and loving in hard or dystopic times. Though the episode is grounded and practical, Christa addresses cognitive heuristics and mental shortcuts humans can use to dehumanize the "other" including the Halo Effect as well as examines how each instinct goes dark, self-preservation leading to hoarding, sexual instinct leading to using people, and social instinct leading to outgrouping and tribalism—and offers practical ways to stay strong in faith. Drawing on CS Lewis's wisdom that evil must be unwound bit by bit, she calls listeners to not rush the stories of pain away or abandon friends who voted differently as you fight for justice - we're one human body, and we must rise together. Watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(592)

Lighting (Safe but Sexy) Fireworks in Your Marriage

Lighting (Safe but Sexy) Fireworks in Your Marriage

Today we open the July series on sexual intimacy, and there's no better week for lighting the (safe but sexy) fireworks. Not the ones in the sky, the ones in your marriage. Christa dismantles the myth...

1 Jul 22min

The Foundation Before the (Sexual) Fireworks

The Foundation Before the (Sexual) Fireworks

This is the turning point of the Summer of Intimacy, the bridge from everything we have built in June into the sexual intimacy series beginning in July. But this episode names something deeper that ha...

29 Jun 22min

Two Essential Paths to Intimacy: Joy and Connection

Two Essential Paths to Intimacy: Joy and Connection

In this crowning summer episode every listener needs to lean in for, Christa unpacks the two paths back to each other: connection, the path of being deeply known, grounded in John Gottman's research o...

24 Jun 20min

25 Years In: What I've Learned About Intimacy

25 Years In: What I've Learned About Intimacy

Today Christa talks through 25 years of marriage to Wes - and instead of a typical teaching episode, we're reflecting on the story arc of marriages that thrive. Christa shares a lessonn about her own ...

22 Jun 24min

Subscriber Series: The Container Method - Emotional Safety for Every Type in Marriage (Free to All This Week!)

Subscriber Series: The Container Method - Emotional Safety for Every Type in Marriage (Free to All This Week!)

This week's deep dive is FREE for everyone, and we mean everyone. Whether you're a longtime Collective member or brand new here, this one's a gift. We're going deeper into emotional processing contain...

17 Jun 19min

What to Do When Sharing Backfires: Emotional Processing Containers

What to Do When Sharing Backfires: Emotional Processing Containers

When you finally open up and say the vulnerable thing that needed to be said and shared, what next? Often, your spouse gets defensive, shuts down, or fires back, and now you're less likely to ever sha...

17 Jun 16min

Hiding in Your Marriage: What It's Quietly Costing Your Connection

Hiding in Your Marriage: What It's Quietly Costing Your Connection

Do you tell your spouse every sip of coffee, every flirt at the grocery store, every small moment of frustration? Probably not, and that is not automatically a problem. But there is a real difference ...

15 Jun 23min

The Tiny Moments That Make or Break Your Marriage: Emotional Bids

The Tiny Moments That Make or Break Your Marriage: Emotional Bids

What if the thing that determines whether your marriage thrives or slowly fades isn't the big fights or the grand gestures, but the hundred tiny moments in between? In this episode, Christa unpacks on...

10 Jun 22min

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