74. Grief

We explore grief through the immediate and raw experience of losing a parent, beginning with the story of receiving news of a mother's death whilst scuba diving in a remote part of the Philippines. We discuss the intensity of those first nine days—the loneliness of travelling home alone, the profound sadness of missing someone physically, and the complex emotions of being both the griever and the anchor for an extended family's collective grief. Through personal reflection, we examine how grief and love are inseparable partners—there is no grief without love—and how the shared experience of loss can strengthen family bonds. We discuss the power of conscious grieving: using morning pages to process emotions, the cathartic experience of writing a eulogy, and the comfort found in spiritual beliefs about continued presence beyond physical death. We broaden the conversation beyond death to examine other forms of grief: lost dreams, children growing up, relationships ending, and futures that will never materialise. We explore how grief for these losses is often more complex and prolonged than grief from death, involving anxiety and uncertainty alongside sadness. We discuss the importance of allowing grief space rather than suppressing it, whilst also recognising the need to progress rather than becoming stuck in difficult emotions. We reflect on the concepts of "good death" and the "say it now" philosophy—expressing love and appreciation whilst people are still alive. We conclude that conscious, deliberate grieving, though profoundly difficult, creates opportunities for deeper learning, stronger connections, and meaningful acceptance of loss in all its forms.