Who Said You Had To Be Perfect To Feel Good? With Dr. Kim Howes

Who Said You Had To Be Perfect To Feel Good? With Dr. Kim Howes

If you’ve ever thought, “I’m not feeling my best because I’m not doing all the things right,” this episode is going to hit.

Because somewhere along the way, a lot of high-capacity people accepted the idea that wellness equals doing all the things - just right. Perfect routines. Perfect mindset. Perfect food. Perfect supplements. Perfect activity. Perfect body.

And that? That’s exhausting. And... It's a lie.

In this episode of Pretty Well, I sit down with Dr. Kim Howes to unpack the quiet pressure so many of us carry: the belief that feeling great requires us to be perfect. And we get very honest about how that belief is keeping you stuck in cycles of over-functioning, analysis paralysis, and never quite feeling like you’re “there.”

This is not a fluffy “just love yourself more” conversation. It’s nuanced. Grounded. Practical.

And if you’re someone who does all the right things but still feels like you’re failing at them? You’re going to feel very seen.

In This Episode, We Cover: [02:10] The Real Roots of Perfectionism Dr. Howes breaks down how perfectionism isn’t about high standards — it’s often about protection. Protection from rejection. Criticism. Not feeling enough. You’ll start to recognize how this pattern may have quietly shaped your relationship with food, productivity, health, and even rest.

[07:45] The Hidden Cost of “Doing Everything Right” We talk about the mental load of constantly trying to optimize yourself — and why it creates more nervous system activation than progress. If you’ve ever thought: “Why am I still tired?” “Why doesn’t this feel easier?” “Why do I feel behind even when I’m ahead?” This section will hit.

[14:30] When Wellness Becomes Another Performance There’s a difference between supporting your health and performing your health. We unpack how wellness culture can subtly reinforce the idea that you are only as good as your discipline. And how that belief undermines self-trust over time.

[21:55] Self-Compassion (Without the Eye Roll) Not the soft, vague version. The evidence-based, nervous-system-regulating, behavior-changing version. Dr. Howes explains why self-compassion actually increases accountability and follow-through — instead of making you complacent. This is the part most high achievers misunderstand.

[29:40] How to Interrupt the “Never Enough” Loop We get practical here. What to say to yourself in real time. How to catch the inner critic before it runs the meeting. How to build standards without building shame. Small shifts. Big relief. Why This Episode Matters Because if you secretly believe: I should be further by now I shouldn’t struggle with this If I were stronger, I’d have figured it out …then perfectionism is likely running more of your life than you realize. And the irony?

The more you chase perfect wellness, the further you drift from actually living the life you love.

This conversation isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about removing the internal pressure that’s keeping you tense, reactive, and quietly dissatisfied — even when you’re doing everything “right.”

If this episode resonates, share it with someone else who holds themselves to impossible standards. And if you’re ready to stop performing wellness and actually feel amazing — this is where to start.

🔗 Resources & Links - Connect with Dr. Kim:

Website: DrKimHowes.com

Instagram & TikTok: @drkimberlyhowes

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Contact Lisa: Website: www.lisasmithwellness.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/prettywell_podcast/

Disclaimer: Nothing in this podcast is to be taken as medical advice, please take informed accountability and speak to your provider before making changes to your health routine. The primary purpose of The Pretty Well Podcast being to educate. This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice nor to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. By listening to this content, you agree to consult your own physician or qualified health professional regarding specific health questions. Neither Lisa Smith, The Pretty Well Podcast, nor any guest takes responsibility for possible health consequences of any person or persons following the information in this educational content. All listeners of this content, especially those who are pregnant or taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement, or lifestyle program. The Pretty Well Podcast is for private non-commercial use and our guests do not necessarily reflect any agency, organization, or company that they work for. In addition, opinions of interview guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Lisa Smith and/or The Pretty Well Podcast. This content is not guaranteed to be correct, complete, or up to date.