Agent Recon (2024)

This week on Movie Torture, Brad, Jacob, and MTD set out to review Agent Recon… and accidentally spend most of the episode questioning reality, anatomy, and whether MTD is secretly the Matrix.

The movie itself? Chuck Norris plays a robot… kind of. There’s red ash, magic mana, aliens, and a rule that you can only kill enemies by shooting them in the liver—which immediately sends the guys into a full breakdown because none of them know where the liver is. At one point, the conversation turns into a survival strategy of “just aim somewhere in the torso and hope for the best.”

But the real highlight isn’t the movie—it’s the spirals.

Within minutes, they’ve:

1. Debated uploading MTD’s brain into a cyborg and whether he’d save humanity or just bring a TV remote to a gunfight
2. Planned a full production of Monkey Cop like it’s a legitimate Hollywood contender
3. Argued about who would survive an alien invasion (spoiler: nobody, because they’re all aiming for the wrong organs)
4. Gone deep into Total Gym infomercials and somehow turned it into a Rocky-style training montage between two grown men in an apartment
5. Discussed who’s dying first between Dick Van Dyke and Mel Brooks like it’s a Vegas betting line
6. And briefly turned the episode into an emotional moment about not wanting each other to die… before immediately going back to poop jokes and cyborg dads

Meanwhile, Agent Recon keeps happening in the background—barely. There’s a random daughter subplot nobody asked for, villains that look like the same three guys in different hoodies, and Chuck Norris showing up just long enough to remind everyone this movie technically has a legend in it.

By the end, there’s an explosion, a memory chip, and zero clarity—just like the episode itself.

It’s less of a movie review and more of a chaotic hangout where the movie loses and the tangents win.

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