Limerence vs Love: Why We Obsess Over Emotionally Unavailable People

Welcome to Episode 494 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Amanda McCracken, who speaks to me about breaking the cycle of infatuation, limerence, perfectionism, and longing for emotionally unavailable love.

In this episode, Amanda shares the deeply personal story behind her book When Longing Becomes Your Lover and how writing the book helped her understand the dating patterns that kept pulling her toward unavailable partners. We speak to the difference between real love and the emotional intensity that often pretends to be love, particularly when anxiety and fear and the chase become familiar aspects of attraction.

Amanda McCracken is an award-winning journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, National Geographic, NPR, Elle, Outside, Self, Runner's World, ESPN, and many others. She published her first essay about longing in 2013 which led to additional articles featuring anecdotes and deep research and interviews with the BBC and Katie Couric.

In this episode, you will hear:

Understanding Limerence And Infatuation
Chasing Emotionally Unavailable Partners
Mistaking Anxiety For Love
Purity Culture And Sexual Boundaries
Hookup Culture And Uncertainty
The Role Of Social Media
Listening To The Body
Building Trust Before Love
Choosing Consistency Over Intensity
Breaking The Cycle Of Longing

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