Happiness Break: A Compassionate Letter to Yourself

Take less than 10 minutes to write yourself a letter of care, compassion, and encouragement with psychologist Kristin Neff in this research-backed practice.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Choose an area of self-judgment: Think of one aspect of yourself that makes you feel inadequate, stressed, or not quite good enough.
2. Name what you're feeling: Write a few sentences about the situation and the emotions it brings up, such as sadness, fear, frustration, shame, or loneliness.
3. Imagine an unconditionally compassionate friend: Picture someone who is wise, accepting, and deeply caring—someone who sees both your strengths and your struggles without judgment.
4. Write a letter from their perspective: Let this compassionate friend respond to your situation with understanding, kindness, and acceptance, recognizing that imperfection is part of being human.
5. Include gentle wisdom and encouragement: If it feels helpful, have your compassionate friend offer caring suggestions for growth or change—not because you need fixing, but because they want you to thrive.
6. Read the letter back to yourself: Set the letter aside for a while, then return to it and read it slowly, allowing the words of compassion and support to sink in.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Listen to the Full Practice Here: https://self-compassion.org/practices/noting-practice-2/

Today’s Happiness Break Guide:

Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.

More Happiness Breaks like this one:

A Self-Compassion Meditation For Burnout: https://tinyurl.com/ye24rz4k

The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/rrtpje2x

Take a Break With Our Loving-Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/3vn9t4jv

Related Science of Happiness episodes:

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/mrxsad33

The Science of Letting Go: https://tinyurl.com/34u2fu48

The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/y6bpvbv5

We’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

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This episode was supported by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation on "Spreading Love Through the Media."

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/4rcnm6s5