My Child is a Perfectionist: When High Standards Become Anxiety

If your child is melting down over tiny mistakes, refusing to start homework, or abandoning activities the moment they stop being “naturally good,” this episode is one you cannot afford to skip.

I’m seeing perfectionism show up in more children than ever, and most parents don’t realise it’s not about high standards at all. It’s anxiety. And it’s quietly eroding your child’s confidence, resilience, and joy.

In this episode, I break down what perfectionism really is, why it develops, and the hidden signs most families miss - from the blank‑page freeze to the endless erasing, the shutdowns, the self‑criticism, and the sudden quitting of things they once loved.

I’ll show you the neuroscience behind why your child reacts this way, the early experiences that wire these beliefs in, and the five practical tools you can start using today to help them feel enough, even when things aren’t perfect.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells, exhausted by homework battles, or worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong is holding them back, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Perfectionism isn’t fixed, and with the right support, your child can learn to try, to tolerate mistakes, and to thrive again.

Highlights from this episode:

01:11 - Performance = Worth

06:05 - The signs of perfectionism

10:05 - The root cause of anxiety

14:40 - Five things that work

18:18 - Mind the gap

💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together

💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/

💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library

💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025

💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Denne episoden er hentet fra en åpen RSS-feed og er ikke publisert av Podme. Den kan derfor inneholde annonser.

Episoder(446)

GCSE Results Day: What Your Child Needs From You in the Next 24 Hours

GCSE results day isn’t really about grades - it’s about emotions. Everyone is feeling a lot of things, from the moment you wake up, to opening that envelope, and then processing whatever is inside.In ...

19 Aug 21min

Bucket Emptying: 5 Ways to Support Your Teenager When Plans Change

If your teenager’s exam results were not what you expected, your plans might be making some sudden changes. That’s ok, and this episode is for you.Whether your child didn’t get the grades they hoped f...

16 Aug 12min

What to Say to Your Teenager on Results Day (Whatever the Grades)

Results Day is one of the most emotionally-charged moments in your teenager’s life, and what you say in the first hours after they open that envelope can shape their confidence, their resilience, and ...

12 Aug 26min

Bucket Emptying: One Rule for Screens This Summer

A must‑listen for every parent navigating the screen‑time battle this summer!Today, I cut through the overwhelm with one simple, highly effective rule that stops arguments, protects your child’s sleep...

9 Aug 13min

Screen Time, Sleep, and Your Child's Mood: What You Are Missing

Screens aren’t just distracting your child - they’re quietly disrupting the one thing their brain and body cannot function without: sleep. And when sleep quality drops, everything else follows: mood, ...

5 Aug 22min

Bucket Emptying: 5 Things to Say When Your Child Won't Try Something

Fear of failure is one of the most misunderstood challenges parents face, especially when you’re raising a bright, capable child who refuses to try anything unless success is guaranteed.Today, I break...

2 Aug 15min

When Your Child Won't Try Anything New: Fear of Failure and the Resilience Gap

If you’re watching your bright, capable child refuse to try anything unless success is guaranteed, this episode is going to feel like oxygen.I’m breaking down exactly what’s really driving fear of fai...

29 Jul 25min

Bucket Emptying: Five Ways to Support Your Sensitive Child Without Wrapping Them in Cotton Wool

In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most confusing challenges parents face: how to support a highly sensitive child without wrapping them in cotton wool or pushing them too hard. If your child fe...

26 Jul 19min